Today & Resolution
Today
I was really really excited and looking forward to today! :DD
It was a day where I was gonna eat out brunch with zoey @ swensens and .. well, get a present for charcoal (: Due to my blurness, I left the house without the one-for-one coupon thingy :\ So we ate at mos burger instead -.- Oh well, at least she got to eat her favourite fries :s
Later went home and rested for a bit before leaving. I didn't go for the bowling thingy though. Didn't want to bowl and didn't want them to force me to bowl :\ So I decided to go later. haha, meanwhile, since it was about 2pm, there wasn't any nice tv programme.. so I watched cartoon network.. the um.. ben 10 show. One of my bleach-fan classmate always talked to me about ben 10 too .. and how cool it was and is @.@ So I watched about an hour .. Then took a bath and left shortly after my mom came home.
It was the longest journey EVER to get to a place. Took me about 2 hours, approx. I was.. really.. really afraid. to be honest. I was on the verge of crying when Saul was talking to me, telling me that if I took the bus back, it would be right outside and all.. I kind of.. put down on him.. sorry :\ But of course, didn't hold back those tears - I was in a public place, for goodness sake! I took the bus back.. and I think I looked really glum cos I felt my face just glued to an expression that I would say, something like sulking =x Sigh. I was really angry, somewhat. Parts of me were angry, feeling stupid and afraid. But somehow all of that faded when I saw how happy they were bowling. wow ._.
After bowling, most of us went to max's house for the countdown party < I suppose? Hmmm.. Didn't do much there though. mostly ate, observed, watched pirates of the caribbean, dozed off a little .. I guess I gotta catch up on my sleep later, so I hope this post won't be too long .... My parents and I left about 20 minutes after midnight, sending aaron and his brother back home before we headed home. I was already drifting off to sleep, so was aaron. haha! nobody replied poor douglas's initiated conversation :\ sorry!!
And time for the resolution.
Resolution: It's the END OF 2010!!!!
Firstly, this is the very first time I'm doing a resolution on a blog.. so .. not really sure what to write on .. but I guess I'll do a rough summary ..
Beginning of this year, I was quite upset that I got into 3B2. I had issues with friendships (Confusion about my identity, personality, actually - i knew it!) and issues with my subject combi. What I really wished to get was double science, physics & chemistry. But I didn't appeal though. I wonder why I didn't .. but.. yeah, I didn't. And then I found out why. I found the reason why God had placed me in the same class as with the friends that I had friendship issues. No, this is different from the choice of staying with friends that I stay in the same class as them. It's more of like a chance that God had given me to probably make it up to them or start anew.
Though I wouldn't say the year had been a perfect one, but I would say, I've grown much much more and definitely have been taken away by a LOT of surprises - especially lately. I feel that for this entire year, the problems of my friendships with my friends was mostly - well, my fault i think - due to my confusion of my personality. I read the description about INFJs and well, honestly speaking, I'd been confused by my own self, many times. and.. I would say, it was the root of the friendship problems. Anyways, now that I know, and that everything that God has planned and done for me, it feels like I'm a different person now. Definitely much more different than last year (:
Other than the friendship issues solved and knowing myself even more, I feel that God has blessed me with great results that I managed to improve .. about 5-7% for the overall marks. I'm really really really happy :DD
okay, that was a short paragraph.. hehe =x
Alright.. hmm.. I really wanna thank God so very very extremely much for introducing regina into my life. She was like bridge to enhancing my social life! I got to know many people in YE, how friendly they actually turned out to be.. I got to be much calmer this year as well! I think this is the most memorable year, in fact. It just feels.. so very special. I don't know what is, but it feels like.. well, EVERYTHING! you know, it comes in a package! :\
I'm really glad I met someone similar to me in YE too (: never knew, but maybe my INFJ instinct - haha! nah, of course God planned it (: - had created an interest to know him. I think that was about a year ago? When Clannad After Story was still showing.. It was when my phone rang "Dango, Dango, Dango .." Then darren - or daryl, i couldn't differentiate them then - said that Ben, too, watched! And I was quite shocked, because other than Rachel, I never knew someone as old as her would still be watching anime! I mean, after all the complains from my classmates and esp my mom and my sister. In fact, I think my whole family's against me watching anime -.- except my dad, he couldn't choose which side he should .. side. haha!
hahs. don't know what's going on. I guess I'll ask God tonight! :DD
Hmm .. p.s. currently eating papaya. woot! that reminded me for the 881 movie. haha, I rememebred that that was one of the movies I'd watched with my family. the second last movie that we'd watched together, I think. And it was probably one or two years back. Sad right? Ever since my sister got into JC life, she'd totally vanished, especially now. She's working! sometimes 16 hours, sometimes she starts work at 5pm .. always end at 2am. I'm really really worried for her and I don't know if she can cope! HER EYEBAGS ARE ... =x and after work, I'm literally not gonna see her for 5 months because she's going for ns! WHAT?!??!? Look, she may be the most irritating sister I'd ever had, but well, on the other hand, she's the only sister, only blood-sibling that I have. No matter how irritating/annoying or how mean she was and is to me, I'll still love her because of who she is. Don't know, it's a family thing I guess. hehe (:
Guzheng competition. This is probably the highlight of the year. Well, under the STRESS category :\ I've been juggling between this and studies. Sec 3, has been a really tough year for me. Well, I think it's probably because friendship issues were in too, but I would say the guzheng competition was very much more stressful. Why? Because I had stage fright issues. Anyways, God did help me pull through it all with my friends' support and his presence that I felt on that very day of the competition. I probably did blog this part. And to me, I found really crucial. It was like a life of death decision.
It was right around the first week of August, exams were probably the next week or the following. I had yet to let my lao shi (main teach) the form and photocopy the scores. Funny thing was, I did remember I had time, but my prioritizing really went crap during that crazy period when I had to worry about studying for exams.. do this and that... in the end, my brain was doing all the work and my limbs totally lag-ed behind. way behind. Furthermore, I was still deciding on whether to participate or not! The End of Registration was 5th August. I was so nervous because it was the last week!!! I was frantic. I didn't know what to do. Then a little voice whispered, "Calm down.." It repeated that, I focused on those two words, tried to hear it.. it got clearer and clearer and before I knew it, I was already calm! O.O yay! God at work :D
I had then decided to participate, but my heart was still hesitating. But I ignored it. I smsed my lao shi to ask him which school he was at so that I could go to him and get his signature. But God helped me and made some compromises. My laoshi said he'd be passing by my school, so he could get it signed for me. I was still having my celebration. Hmm.. okay.. then maybe the deadline wasn't 5 august.. GAH!! I really don't remember T-T Hmmm .. then I told myself, it was done. He signed it. it was done. no! not yet, I'VE TO GO TO NATIONAL ARTS COUNCIL BY 5PM!!! GAHHH!!!!! PANIC PANIC PANIC!!
And so i rushed. I was earlier than expected though. It was my first time walking around Clark Quay area alone - my mom never allows me to go there .. due to the many pubs, etcetc. So i felt really scared. but I remembered talking to God on my way there. I was having a continuous prayer with Him. Thus, it was a calm journey to the national arts council from Clark Quay. It was almost as if He was right there beside me, leading me the way O.o I soon got in and build up my courage to ask the security guard where I had to go. I was exchanged my ez-link card with a pass and took a lift up to the 3RD floor. Somehow this year, whenever I see the number 3, it feels like God is telling me that He's there, and I need not worry about a single thing. Once I submitted it, I left, my teeth chattering - it was freezing! - and once I got home, I realised that I'd left my bottle there. I was so afraid and nervous about just submitted the registration form that I left my water bottle there. So it was a goodbye to my green, bowling pin water bottle ..
sobsob .. T-T
The training was worthwhile. Each time my laoshi made guof and I perform in front of people, I began to conquer my phobia of stage fright. Of course, it had not be cured FULLY. However, I'd been able to play close to as how I play during my lessons. Just a little bit shaky here and there.. Cos when I'm still nervous, my fingers become really cold and I lose a bit of control on the nerves... I really am very thankful that God had brought me through all of this - tough - training and really moulded me into a more person, more whole. Now it feels that all that's left are the details. Like the fingerprints, and shape of my eyes, etc.. and soon, the cells in my body and the number of cells that grow and die in me .. you guys, get it right? It's totally awesome! I mean, imagining it that way. It's like imagining God creating me again! just from broken clay. Had silt, used tools and brought me to where I am today (:
I'm really glad that God had given me yet another year to live and enjoy and experience so many wonderful moments! Not to mention, learnt many many things as well. My walk in faith with God has been growing stronger each day - each moment? - and with every backslide, I get back right on my own two feet, much stronger than what I was before. God is great, awesome, mighty, merciful, generous, kind and mostly, for this year, very very extremely forgiving! (: I really wish to see Him someday and ask Him all the questions I've been longing to ask Him! Well, I mean, I know that I can do it now, just that.. you know, to see that He's there, talking to me, face-to-face, like how a Father talks to his daughter.. that friendly manner, and not like how I sometimes visualize it. For from what I know, we only use 10% of our imperfect brains. God - obviously - uses his almighty brain fully, and wisely too of course. Therefore, I can't possibly imagine How great God really is! But with my 10% of brain usage right now, I hereby wanna say that I really really love Him and words will not even express my gratitude right now.
Thank God for this great year of wonderful and beautiful experiences, moments and especially memories that I - hopefully - keep (remember) :D
Praise be to God! :DD
I was really really excited and looking forward to today! :DD
It was a day where I was gonna eat out brunch with zoey @ swensens and .. well, get a present for charcoal (: Due to my blurness, I left the house without the one-for-one coupon thingy :\ So we ate at mos burger instead -.- Oh well, at least she got to eat her favourite fries :s
Later went home and rested for a bit before leaving. I didn't go for the bowling thingy though. Didn't want to bowl and didn't want them to force me to bowl :\ So I decided to go later. haha, meanwhile, since it was about 2pm, there wasn't any nice tv programme.. so I watched cartoon network.. the um.. ben 10 show. One of my bleach-fan classmate always talked to me about ben 10 too .. and how cool it was and is @.@ So I watched about an hour .. Then took a bath and left shortly after my mom came home.
It was the longest journey EVER to get to a place. Took me about 2 hours, approx. I was.. really.. really afraid. to be honest. I was on the verge of crying when Saul was talking to me, telling me that if I took the bus back, it would be right outside and all.. I kind of.. put down on him.. sorry :\ But of course, didn't hold back those tears - I was in a public place, for goodness sake! I took the bus back.. and I think I looked really glum cos I felt my face just glued to an expression that I would say, something like sulking =x Sigh. I was really angry, somewhat. Parts of me were angry, feeling stupid and afraid. But somehow all of that faded when I saw how happy they were bowling. wow ._.
After bowling, most of us went to max's house for the countdown party < I suppose? Hmmm.. Didn't do much there though. mostly ate, observed, watched pirates of the caribbean, dozed off a little .. I guess I gotta catch up on my sleep later, so I hope this post won't be too long .... My parents and I left about 20 minutes after midnight, sending aaron and his brother back home before we headed home. I was already drifting off to sleep, so was aaron. haha! nobody replied poor douglas's initiated conversation :\ sorry!!
And time for the resolution.
Resolution: It's the END OF 2010!!!!
Firstly, this is the very first time I'm doing a resolution on a blog.. so .. not really sure what to write on .. but I guess I'll do a rough summary ..
Beginning of this year, I was quite upset that I got into 3B2. I had issues with friendships (Confusion about my identity, personality, actually - i knew it!) and issues with my subject combi. What I really wished to get was double science, physics & chemistry. But I didn't appeal though. I wonder why I didn't .. but.. yeah, I didn't. And then I found out why. I found the reason why God had placed me in the same class as with the friends that I had friendship issues. No, this is different from the choice of staying with friends that I stay in the same class as them. It's more of like a chance that God had given me to probably make it up to them or start anew.
Though I wouldn't say the year had been a perfect one, but I would say, I've grown much much more and definitely have been taken away by a LOT of surprises - especially lately. I feel that for this entire year, the problems of my friendships with my friends was mostly - well, my fault i think - due to my confusion of my personality. I read the description about INFJs and well, honestly speaking, I'd been confused by my own self, many times. and.. I would say, it was the root of the friendship problems. Anyways, now that I know, and that everything that God has planned and done for me, it feels like I'm a different person now. Definitely much more different than last year (:
Other than the friendship issues solved and knowing myself even more, I feel that God has blessed me with great results that I managed to improve .. about 5-7% for the overall marks. I'm really really really happy :DD
okay, that was a short paragraph.. hehe =x
Alright.. hmm.. I really wanna thank God so very very extremely much for introducing regina into my life. She was like bridge to enhancing my social life! I got to know many people in YE, how friendly they actually turned out to be.. I got to be much calmer this year as well! I think this is the most memorable year, in fact. It just feels.. so very special. I don't know what is, but it feels like.. well, EVERYTHING! you know, it comes in a package! :\
I'm really glad I met someone similar to me in YE too (: never knew, but maybe my INFJ instinct - haha! nah, of course God planned it (: - had created an interest to know him. I think that was about a year ago? When Clannad After Story was still showing.. It was when my phone rang "Dango, Dango, Dango .." Then darren - or daryl, i couldn't differentiate them then - said that Ben, too, watched! And I was quite shocked, because other than Rachel, I never knew someone as old as her would still be watching anime! I mean, after all the complains from my classmates and esp my mom and my sister. In fact, I think my whole family's against me watching anime -.- except my dad, he couldn't choose which side he should .. side. haha!
hahs. don't know what's going on. I guess I'll ask God tonight! :DD
Hmm .. p.s. currently eating papaya. woot! that reminded me for the 881 movie. haha, I rememebred that that was one of the movies I'd watched with my family. the second last movie that we'd watched together, I think. And it was probably one or two years back. Sad right? Ever since my sister got into JC life, she'd totally vanished, especially now. She's working! sometimes 16 hours, sometimes she starts work at 5pm .. always end at 2am. I'm really really worried for her and I don't know if she can cope! HER EYEBAGS ARE ... =x and after work, I'm literally not gonna see her for 5 months because she's going for ns! WHAT?!??!? Look, she may be the most irritating sister I'd ever had, but well, on the other hand, she's the only sister, only blood-sibling that I have. No matter how irritating/annoying or how mean she was and is to me, I'll still love her because of who she is. Don't know, it's a family thing I guess. hehe (:
Guzheng competition. This is probably the highlight of the year. Well, under the STRESS category :\ I've been juggling between this and studies. Sec 3, has been a really tough year for me. Well, I think it's probably because friendship issues were in too, but I would say the guzheng competition was very much more stressful. Why? Because I had stage fright issues. Anyways, God did help me pull through it all with my friends' support and his presence that I felt on that very day of the competition. I probably did blog this part. And to me, I found really crucial. It was like a life of death decision.
It was right around the first week of August, exams were probably the next week or the following. I had yet to let my lao shi (main teach) the form and photocopy the scores. Funny thing was, I did remember I had time, but my prioritizing really went crap during that crazy period when I had to worry about studying for exams.. do this and that... in the end, my brain was doing all the work and my limbs totally lag-ed behind. way behind. Furthermore, I was still deciding on whether to participate or not! The End of Registration was 5th August. I was so nervous because it was the last week!!! I was frantic. I didn't know what to do. Then a little voice whispered, "Calm down.." It repeated that, I focused on those two words, tried to hear it.. it got clearer and clearer and before I knew it, I was already calm! O.O yay! God at work :D
I had then decided to participate, but my heart was still hesitating. But I ignored it. I smsed my lao shi to ask him which school he was at so that I could go to him and get his signature. But God helped me and made some compromises. My laoshi said he'd be passing by my school, so he could get it signed for me. I was still having my celebration. Hmm.. okay.. then maybe the deadline wasn't 5 august.. GAH!! I really don't remember T-T Hmmm .. then I told myself, it was done. He signed it. it was done. no! not yet, I'VE TO GO TO NATIONAL ARTS COUNCIL BY 5PM!!! GAHHH!!!!! PANIC PANIC PANIC!!
And so i rushed. I was earlier than expected though. It was my first time walking around Clark Quay area alone - my mom never allows me to go there .. due to the many pubs, etcetc. So i felt really scared. but I remembered talking to God on my way there. I was having a continuous prayer with Him. Thus, it was a calm journey to the national arts council from Clark Quay. It was almost as if He was right there beside me, leading me the way O.o I soon got in and build up my courage to ask the security guard where I had to go. I was exchanged my ez-link card with a pass and took a lift up to the 3RD floor. Somehow this year, whenever I see the number 3, it feels like God is telling me that He's there, and I need not worry about a single thing. Once I submitted it, I left, my teeth chattering - it was freezing! - and once I got home, I realised that I'd left my bottle there. I was so afraid and nervous about just submitted the registration form that I left my water bottle there. So it was a goodbye to my green, bowling pin water bottle ..
sobsob .. T-T
The training was worthwhile. Each time my laoshi made guof and I perform in front of people, I began to conquer my phobia of stage fright. Of course, it had not be cured FULLY. However, I'd been able to play close to as how I play during my lessons. Just a little bit shaky here and there.. Cos when I'm still nervous, my fingers become really cold and I lose a bit of control on the nerves... I really am very thankful that God had brought me through all of this - tough - training and really moulded me into a more person, more whole. Now it feels that all that's left are the details. Like the fingerprints, and shape of my eyes, etc.. and soon, the cells in my body and the number of cells that grow and die in me .. you guys, get it right? It's totally awesome! I mean, imagining it that way. It's like imagining God creating me again! just from broken clay. Had silt, used tools and brought me to where I am today (:
I'm really glad that God had given me yet another year to live and enjoy and experience so many wonderful moments! Not to mention, learnt many many things as well. My walk in faith with God has been growing stronger each day - each moment? - and with every backslide, I get back right on my own two feet, much stronger than what I was before. God is great, awesome, mighty, merciful, generous, kind and mostly, for this year, very very extremely forgiving! (: I really wish to see Him someday and ask Him all the questions I've been longing to ask Him! Well, I mean, I know that I can do it now, just that.. you know, to see that He's there, talking to me, face-to-face, like how a Father talks to his daughter.. that friendly manner, and not like how I sometimes visualize it. For from what I know, we only use 10% of our imperfect brains. God - obviously - uses his almighty brain fully, and wisely too of course. Therefore, I can't possibly imagine How great God really is! But with my 10% of brain usage right now, I hereby wanna say that I really really love Him and words will not even express my gratitude right now.
Thank God for this great year of wonderful and beautiful experiences, moments and especially memories that I - hopefully - keep (remember) :D
Praise be to God! :DD
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