School
Back at school and normal life. WOOT!
I tried to make all the bad feelings go away for awhile. And yes, I went back to school. Apparently, some of my friends didn't even know I didn't go to school yesterday -.- my particular - so-called "just-made" - group of friends through my close friend. My "ex"-good friend didn't take note either. No, we didn't quarrel and broke apart. Time just did it all for us - we changed classes.
I felt like a was taking leaps of things. I don't know.. mostly confidence or courage? I think that's what I lack in the most. I managed to calm myself down. Remember the 5 people you meet before you go heaven that show/movie? Some of you may have watched it before. It's really nice. Today's my first person was Cara - my classmate. I got to know her through.. well, just being there for her since.. I don't know when. All I knew was that I was pretty sociable in the beginning of the year. Hmm .. Well, I told her about jap class ( she's gonna be taking too!! yay!! company!! :DD ) and how horrible it went. Then she laughed and went, "AIYA! It's like that one! Sheryl and I kana then always ask Chloe!! Then we'd be repeating everything after whatever she said!!" Then she laughed. Whoa ..... okay ... I felt relieved - and btw, oh, so her name was Chloe - at that very moment and paused to think .. My first person ..
Next, I went back to class and lessons started. E math was first. It was pretty boring. Applying formulas just learnt on the spot. We got so used to it, that when she said she was going to go really fast, we managed to take I think 2 steps ahead? Well, that's at least for my row. So things were pretty laid back and all. I began to relax even more.
After our break, we had social studies. This is when I met my second person. Well.. not exactly. Unless you want me to say that it's my teacher.. then.. well .. hmm.. then again, it does sound logical. Alright. We had a short lecture and followed by NS videos. Pretty funny! haha! (: Well, it did cheer me up. It was really pretty funny!!
Then we had break and after, geography. 3 of the group people decided to pon onwards and left during break. Shu ting, Dayna, Zoey and I stayed for the lesson. I left after geography though. I didn't wanna go for A math. I wanted to go home, relax, prac guzheng before my next lesson. That's all.
And so I did. I went home, ate udon and watched bleach. UGHH!! SOOO hard to find episode 284 onwards!! Annoying!! Even if found - which is most probably not a problem actually - the video either loads WAAAAAAYYYYY TOOOO LONG, or it just loads halfway and reFUSES to load -.-
But still, I managed to find a site!! I was so tired of searching, I just typed (in the url thing) "www.bleach" ... and something came out! WOOT! Though I wouldn't say the quality was good, or didn't actually cared whether the voice went with the actions (it actually delayed, by like 5 secs??) I just went ahead to watch it. desperate, huh? ._.
Watched two episodes (285&286) today and gonna watch probably till 290 later. See how it goes.
Anyways, I went for guzheng lesson. And yes, she's the third person. She totally made my day in fact! She made me laugh! Know why? There's this song I was suppose to be preparing for finals in the competition ( if I DO get in, that is) and it's called huan xiang qu. huan = change, xiang = think, qu = song. Change Think(ing) song. So can you imagine, one moment you're crazy, another moment, you're sad, another moment you're happy, in a dreamland.. etcetc. That's how mad it would sound like to you. But all in all, it sounded wonderful to me. It's music after all!
She said that for now, just think that I'm supposed to be like a feng zi. Everything just kua zhang a bit here and there. Then she said on one part that I not feng (crazy) enough - Then I thought to myself, "Maybe I'm just NOT crazy !! ......... yet." Then she demonstrated for me to see. No, she didn't move like kungfu hustle -.- She did it with much beauty and elegance. I stared in awe. Such a crazy song, she just demonstrated it like.. SO BEAUTIFULL I COULD CRYY!!!! T.T Okayokay.. Then she kept giggling at me and all that. And I couldn't help but laugh because she just said many things that I imagined .. well, what I imagined turned out to be totally different things. So.. well, we may be both laughing, but at different things - SO I LAUGHED MORE. LOL!!!
I pictured the song, like in a movie. I pictured alice in wonderland. I pictured scenes.. the man ban = slow section whereby the section of the song with slow and steady and smooth. For this case, it's not exactly that. Of course, it's never fixed, like it's all in the title, "huan xiang qu". So I pictured ..
intro: some incident happened. went into dreamland or something.
man ban: Taking cautious steps, I looked around, trying to figure out where I was .. Then I saw my family. Relieved, I decided to take a step forward to ask them if they could tell me where I was. Then suddenly, I stopped only to hear my mom crying out to my father. Some tragedy had happened, I had yet to know what. Then it was all so emotional .. then she's done with saying her part, my father starts to speak with such mellow voice and mournful too. Bold and strong, he says his part.
It somehow triggered me and I barged into the room and screamed. Just screamed. Like what was going on? Why are they blaming me? Why? What have I done? When in true fact, none of them blamed me. I blamed myself. Had I not done it .. had I not done that foolish mistake, she could've survived.. My parents would not have hated me then .. The song fades a little. My mother cries out, "Oh what's the use!" They both sigh loudly. and heartbrokened.. the song fades.. the scenes twists, I collapsed onto the floor in the meantime.. and cry like I've never cried in my life before.
kuai ban: well, I haven't thought of this yet! (:
Lesson ended before I could continue the story! :O
Oh well, so far so good! (:
After guzheng, I went to my ah ma's house for dinner and home where Orlie greeted me "welcome home" every time I come home. They're my 4th persons. At my ah ma's house, I felt warmth. Like I suddenly was able to communicate with them really quite well. And while I was washing my cup, my grandfather came home. This sudden thought came to my mind.. What if they passed on? Can I take it? No, I can't! They're like my .. second parents or something! I'm much closer to them than my dad's side's family. I loved them more, as much as I could actually say. though my ah ma may be the worst nagger ever, she's still my ah ma, the thought of her wanting to keep going to my house even though her back is hurt - and she doesn't say it - hurts me. It pains me to see her like this! I felt this family bonding .. this lock between us.. two generations apart .. yet so .. close ..
When I came home, I'd forgotten to do something when Orlie came to greet me. She was just so happy, just jumped allll about! I played with her with the bear puppet I gave her two years ago for her birthday - it's her favourite! (: She loves to sleep with her head on top of it or just having it near her when she lies on the floor or in her bed. kawaii! :3
Just when I was blow-drying my hair, Orlie started to bark. I was like SHHH!!! Then bark and bark -.- So I decided to to turn it off and go to wherever she was barking. Before I knew it, I realised that the phone was ringing. Then when I picked up, it was my ah ma. She sounded so worried, like why I didn't pick up and I went like OHH .... so that was what I was SUPPOSED to do ... um ...... haha then I just told her I was bathing and she went OHH too (:
Who's my 5th person then, you ask? I guess it's family. They totally just surrounded me in warmth and I felt like.. bliss, you know. My mom came home and her hands got itchy - as given as an excuse by my mom - and took the "BOOST" chocolate. And that's when I went like .. WHOA!! WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA!! BOOST??!??
After the 9pm channel 8 show ended, my mom and I brought Orlie down for a walk. Initially, my mom said I should go downstairs first since she needed to clear some stuff .. shan't elaborate. tedious to type further on =x Then Orlie refused to walk - even to the lift!! So she pulled me back all the way home and we waited outside the door for my mom to come out. Aww.. unfortunately, the door was locked, I think my mom went to the toilet or something, I couldn't possibly get my phone from the house to call my sister that we were waiting for my mom .. So I just pulled Orlie all the way to the lift and went down. Then when Orlie saw my sis, she went squirming!! and cuddly and nudging at my sister's feet. Aww ....
Later on my mom came down and Orlie squirmed again! Haha! awww!! Can't help it!! ((: Then we walked for a bit and went home. Shortly after, my dad came home and told me to listen to some song. The guitar as head background player was SUPER NICE!!! The song's called "remember not" by susan ashton. I thought sounded pretty usual to me in the modern world. But I don't know, I just felt it was pretty special ...
I guess family support really BOOSTED me today as well as the other 3 people I've met (:
Well, one thing for I can conclude is that: God totally heard my prayers and I know that He's there for me. He's showing it. I can see it. I mean .. I felt it!
p.s. for the long post. my hands couldn't resist! :DD
I tried to make all the bad feelings go away for awhile. And yes, I went back to school. Apparently, some of my friends didn't even know I didn't go to school yesterday -.- my particular - so-called "just-made" - group of friends through my close friend. My "ex"-good friend didn't take note either. No, we didn't quarrel and broke apart. Time just did it all for us - we changed classes.
I felt like a was taking leaps of things. I don't know.. mostly confidence or courage? I think that's what I lack in the most. I managed to calm myself down. Remember the 5 people you meet before you go heaven that show/movie? Some of you may have watched it before. It's really nice. Today's my first person was Cara - my classmate. I got to know her through.. well, just being there for her since.. I don't know when. All I knew was that I was pretty sociable in the beginning of the year. Hmm .. Well, I told her about jap class ( she's gonna be taking too!! yay!! company!! :DD ) and how horrible it went. Then she laughed and went, "AIYA! It's like that one! Sheryl and I kana then always ask Chloe!! Then we'd be repeating everything after whatever she said!!" Then she laughed. Whoa ..... okay ... I felt relieved - and btw, oh, so her name was Chloe - at that very moment and paused to think .. My first person ..
Next, I went back to class and lessons started. E math was first. It was pretty boring. Applying formulas just learnt on the spot. We got so used to it, that when she said she was going to go really fast, we managed to take I think 2 steps ahead? Well, that's at least for my row. So things were pretty laid back and all. I began to relax even more.
After our break, we had social studies. This is when I met my second person. Well.. not exactly. Unless you want me to say that it's my teacher.. then.. well .. hmm.. then again, it does sound logical. Alright. We had a short lecture and followed by NS videos. Pretty funny! haha! (: Well, it did cheer me up. It was really pretty funny!!
Then we had break and after, geography. 3 of the group people decided to pon onwards and left during break. Shu ting, Dayna, Zoey and I stayed for the lesson. I left after geography though. I didn't wanna go for A math. I wanted to go home, relax, prac guzheng before my next lesson. That's all.
And so I did. I went home, ate udon and watched bleach. UGHH!! SOOO hard to find episode 284 onwards!! Annoying!! Even if found - which is most probably not a problem actually - the video either loads WAAAAAAYYYYY TOOOO LONG, or it just loads halfway and reFUSES to load -.-
But still, I managed to find a site!! I was so tired of searching, I just typed (in the url thing) "www.bleach" ... and something came out! WOOT! Though I wouldn't say the quality was good, or didn't actually cared whether the voice went with the actions (it actually delayed, by like 5 secs??) I just went ahead to watch it. desperate, huh? ._.
Watched two episodes (285&286) today and gonna watch probably till 290 later. See how it goes.
Anyways, I went for guzheng lesson. And yes, she's the third person. She totally made my day in fact! She made me laugh! Know why? There's this song I was suppose to be preparing for finals in the competition ( if I DO get in, that is) and it's called huan xiang qu. huan = change, xiang = think, qu = song. Change Think(ing) song. So can you imagine, one moment you're crazy, another moment, you're sad, another moment you're happy, in a dreamland.. etcetc. That's how mad it would sound like to you. But all in all, it sounded wonderful to me. It's music after all!
She said that for now, just think that I'm supposed to be like a feng zi. Everything just kua zhang a bit here and there. Then she said on one part that I not feng (crazy) enough - Then I thought to myself, "Maybe I'm just NOT crazy !! ......... yet." Then she demonstrated for me to see. No, she didn't move like kungfu hustle -.- She did it with much beauty and elegance. I stared in awe. Such a crazy song, she just demonstrated it like.. SO BEAUTIFULL I COULD CRYY!!!! T.T Okayokay.. Then she kept giggling at me and all that. And I couldn't help but laugh because she just said many things that I imagined .. well, what I imagined turned out to be totally different things. So.. well, we may be both laughing, but at different things - SO I LAUGHED MORE. LOL!!!
I pictured the song, like in a movie. I pictured alice in wonderland. I pictured scenes.. the man ban = slow section whereby the section of the song with slow and steady and smooth. For this case, it's not exactly that. Of course, it's never fixed, like it's all in the title, "huan xiang qu". So I pictured ..
intro: some incident happened. went into dreamland or something.
man ban: Taking cautious steps, I looked around, trying to figure out where I was .. Then I saw my family. Relieved, I decided to take a step forward to ask them if they could tell me where I was. Then suddenly, I stopped only to hear my mom crying out to my father. Some tragedy had happened, I had yet to know what. Then it was all so emotional .. then she's done with saying her part, my father starts to speak with such mellow voice and mournful too. Bold and strong, he says his part.
It somehow triggered me and I barged into the room and screamed. Just screamed. Like what was going on? Why are they blaming me? Why? What have I done? When in true fact, none of them blamed me. I blamed myself. Had I not done it .. had I not done that foolish mistake, she could've survived.. My parents would not have hated me then .. The song fades a little. My mother cries out, "Oh what's the use!" They both sigh loudly. and heartbrokened.. the song fades.. the scenes twists, I collapsed onto the floor in the meantime.. and cry like I've never cried in my life before.
kuai ban: well, I haven't thought of this yet! (:
Lesson ended before I could continue the story! :O
Oh well, so far so good! (:
After guzheng, I went to my ah ma's house for dinner and home where Orlie greeted me "welcome home" every time I come home. They're my 4th persons. At my ah ma's house, I felt warmth. Like I suddenly was able to communicate with them really quite well. And while I was washing my cup, my grandfather came home. This sudden thought came to my mind.. What if they passed on? Can I take it? No, I can't! They're like my .. second parents or something! I'm much closer to them than my dad's side's family. I loved them more, as much as I could actually say. though my ah ma may be the worst nagger ever, she's still my ah ma, the thought of her wanting to keep going to my house even though her back is hurt - and she doesn't say it - hurts me. It pains me to see her like this! I felt this family bonding .. this lock between us.. two generations apart .. yet so .. close ..
When I came home, I'd forgotten to do something when Orlie came to greet me. She was just so happy, just jumped allll about! I played with her with the bear puppet I gave her two years ago for her birthday - it's her favourite! (: She loves to sleep with her head on top of it or just having it near her when she lies on the floor or in her bed. kawaii! :3
Just when I was blow-drying my hair, Orlie started to bark. I was like SHHH!!! Then bark and bark -.- So I decided to to turn it off and go to wherever she was barking. Before I knew it, I realised that the phone was ringing. Then when I picked up, it was my ah ma. She sounded so worried, like why I didn't pick up and I went like OHH .... so that was what I was SUPPOSED to do ... um ...... haha then I just told her I was bathing and she went OHH too (:
Who's my 5th person then, you ask? I guess it's family. They totally just surrounded me in warmth and I felt like.. bliss, you know. My mom came home and her hands got itchy - as given as an excuse by my mom - and took the "BOOST" chocolate. And that's when I went like .. WHOA!! WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA!! BOOST??!??
After the 9pm channel 8 show ended, my mom and I brought Orlie down for a walk. Initially, my mom said I should go downstairs first since she needed to clear some stuff .. shan't elaborate. tedious to type further on =x Then Orlie refused to walk - even to the lift!! So she pulled me back all the way home and we waited outside the door for my mom to come out. Aww.. unfortunately, the door was locked, I think my mom went to the toilet or something, I couldn't possibly get my phone from the house to call my sister that we were waiting for my mom .. So I just pulled Orlie all the way to the lift and went down. Then when Orlie saw my sis, she went squirming!! and cuddly and nudging at my sister's feet. Aww ....
Later on my mom came down and Orlie squirmed again! Haha! awww!! Can't help it!! ((: Then we walked for a bit and went home. Shortly after, my dad came home and told me to listen to some song. The guitar as head background player was SUPER NICE!!! The song's called "remember not" by susan ashton. I thought sounded pretty usual to me in the modern world. But I don't know, I just felt it was pretty special ...
I guess family support really BOOSTED me today as well as the other 3 people I've met (:
Well, one thing for I can conclude is that: God totally heard my prayers and I know that He's there for me. He's showing it. I can see it. I mean .. I felt it!
p.s. for the long post. my hands couldn't resist! :DD
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