PHEW(:

"I'll love you forever."

Lungs pumping
Heart jumping
Head spinning
I could barely breathe.

Tears flowing down my cheeks
Strained, inebriated
Alcohol, from my mouth, reeks
Once, I loved .. then I hated ..

Thrashing everything to the floor
Burning every memory of you
Wishing to not remember your face anymore
To give me a chance to start afresh & anew

Then I came to this one thing
I thought I would never
ever
detroy,
But I still did.

Staring hard at our bright smiles
wondering just what'd gone wrong
We were inseparable,
Our love was so strong

But that day had to happen
The day when you left me
The path you had already chosen
Leaving me behind, feeling so lonely.

Clutching on tightly to the frame
Till my fingertips turn yellow
To the wall I aim
To where I aimed, I throw

The glass cracks & breaks
As I collapsed to the floor
My heart aches
right to the very core

Didn't think I'd be in disarray
Didn't think I'd be that sore
Didn't think you'd be so far away
Didn't think you'd break your promise after you swore.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Many things .. going through my mind.

I've been thinking about many things lately and I think it's time for me to do some reflection :\
I was extremely exhausted today, yet I had to stretch it almost to the max - i guess. Not exaggerating though. I was pretty upset that my teach didn't see me tired at all . I guess my pretentious behaviour's improving. Sighs. Who am I? a positive girl? or a negative girl? Which is the real me? I see myself as a positive girl. I'm positive to everyone - or at least I try to. But I turn negative when I can no longer hold it in. I take it to God. I become a complain queen. I pour everything out to Him. I don't even know if it's right or wrong. But doing so makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER .

Many things I find that people should see it as COMMON SENSE, but I guess I've been through that stage and being patient with 'em is the only solution for them to continue learning with such enthusiasm. Or even worse, if they're not even enthusiastic about learning, what's the point right? Then again, I'd do my job and be patient about it till they learn and find it's true joy through learning it.

I'm not talking about guzheng or whatsoever. What I may relate to is about LIFE. About values and stuff. Teaching a kid moral values? is probably easy when they respect you a LOT. Because they'd always think of the consequences if they were to do something bad. And when they're punished, they fear you. And when you fear someone, you'd make sure you'd do everything so perfect, til that somone wouldn't even be able to point out a single mistake about it.

I guess this is just another way God has shown me to exercise patience .. Hmm .. talking about exercise .. Haiis . It's about time I go jogging man . I don't mean to make excuses, but, whenever I say I wanna go jogging, it's either raining/raining heavily or it's EXTREMELY MADLY INSANELY HOT. And when the weather's perfectly fine, I'm either busy, too tired, or just plain lazy. OH manns .. School's reopening in three days time .. and I so gotta do something before they take the height and weight thingy again -.-" But then again, I know I wouldn't be able to do anything about my height OR weight in 3 days -.- it's mission VERY impossible . Unless I fast for these three days. LOL. crazy.

Sian .. really bored. Just bathed about an hour plus plus ago. & my hair's still wet >.<" Can't sleep. I'm actually trying to kinda avoid using the hair dryer cos it makes my hair really dry and .. make maggi mee with my strands and STRANDS OF HAIR! DD; Have been plucking the away the strands and STRANDS of hair with the maggi mees at the end .. GAHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I'd be watching one episode of bleach before doing QT and then off to .. BED!!!! :DD

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