can i?
If I had a choice ..
I'd make my own decisions. & stop following u.
Shan't throw my negative thoughts here. I've long gotten over it. Cannot talk about it anymore, otherwise I'd be wasting my energy -_-
~
Went for cca today 12-4pm. CCA was terrible. Everyone got scolded. Without Guof and Keely around, his blood pressure shot up pretty high. I nearly jumped off my chair only if I could.
Later rushed out and home to bathe and change and blow-dry my hair. Also, with Regina calling every 10 minutes or so. I near died listening to her -_- reminding me NOT TO BE LATE. But in the end I was still late. Why? COS SHE KEPT CALLING!!!!! T-T CHILL A BIT LAH!
Bought rojak on my way to the MRT. stuffed it somewhere in my bag. in the mrt train i sat beside her. After awhile, I took out my jacket to put on. Apparently, my jacket stinked of rojak and regina kept laughing -.- Met Isaac later on. Walked around marina mall..? Then we headed to Long John Silver's (: I ate my grilled salmon :DD
We talked a bit and set off elsewhere. joked, went to shops, then last destination > home.
I don't know why, many have said, even the person's quite close friend. and.. some other people. And even the little people in my head. She's not controlling my life. But why is it I just follow her anyway? I feel stupid, useless and helpless, like a little doll. A puppet that (not whom) she uses to get her way. Dragging me everywhere. I want to be free. I know at times she really make my day, but why is that some times I feel.. different? I feel so upset at one point of time and the next, super duper happy when I'm with her. It's like mixed up. Being with her gives me mixed feelings. Shouldn't it be fixed to just .. happy?
I wanna have my own free will to do things.
I don't be to sound old and wise or whatever, but seriously, some things that i've experienced, when I say no, I mean it. And if what happened last time happened to her again, I wouldn't say anything. not even "i told you so".
I tried not to be so .. controlling as well. But it seems she's climbing over my head. Some of my friends threaten me to keep a secret.. If so, then what's the point of telling them? How can I trust them anyway? How are they my friends whom I get never put my trust in? Don't tell me that from the start, all these friends I've made are fake?? I feel so confused.
I have no one to hang around with in YE.Saul? I feel weird. he's an attached guy, I don't know, it's just me, I feel weird being close to attached guys. Marcus? Forget it. He would never talk to me after what happened. Regina? I would if I could. that's all i can say. no one would ever figure this out. no one. Aaron? dream on. no offence, but he's classified under those three jerks. no way. Sorry aaron, but I really regard you as a friend, but not THAT kind of hanging out friend, I guess.
Sorry if I have offended anyone. Don't take it to heart. I'm a bit.. angry and .. frustrated, upset now. Don't mind me. But if you could, you can just ignore all that crap.
I'd make my own decisions. & stop following u.
Shan't throw my negative thoughts here. I've long gotten over it. Cannot talk about it anymore, otherwise I'd be wasting my energy -_-
~
Went for cca today 12-4pm. CCA was terrible. Everyone got scolded. Without Guof and Keely around, his blood pressure shot up pretty high. I nearly jumped off my chair only if I could.
Later rushed out and home to bathe and change and blow-dry my hair. Also, with Regina calling every 10 minutes or so. I near died listening to her -_- reminding me NOT TO BE LATE. But in the end I was still late. Why? COS SHE KEPT CALLING!!!!! T-T CHILL A BIT LAH!
Bought rojak on my way to the MRT. stuffed it somewhere in my bag. in the mrt train i sat beside her. After awhile, I took out my jacket to put on. Apparently, my jacket stinked of rojak and regina kept laughing -.- Met Isaac later on. Walked around marina mall..? Then we headed to Long John Silver's (: I ate my grilled salmon :DD
We talked a bit and set off elsewhere. joked, went to shops, then last destination > home.
I don't know why, many have said, even the person's quite close friend. and.. some other people. And even the little people in my head. She's not controlling my life. But why is it I just follow her anyway? I feel stupid, useless and helpless, like a little doll. A puppet that (not whom) she uses to get her way. Dragging me everywhere. I want to be free. I know at times she really make my day, but why is that some times I feel.. different? I feel so upset at one point of time and the next, super duper happy when I'm with her. It's like mixed up. Being with her gives me mixed feelings. Shouldn't it be fixed to just .. happy?
I wanna have my own free will to do things.
I don't be to sound old and wise or whatever, but seriously, some things that i've experienced, when I say no, I mean it. And if what happened last time happened to her again, I wouldn't say anything. not even "i told you so".
I tried not to be so .. controlling as well. But it seems she's climbing over my head. Some of my friends threaten me to keep a secret.. If so, then what's the point of telling them? How can I trust them anyway? How are they my friends whom I get never put my trust in? Don't tell me that from the start, all these friends I've made are fake?? I feel so confused.
I have no one to hang around with in YE.
Sorry if I have offended anyone. Don't take it to heart. I'm a bit.. angry and .. frustrated, upset now. Don't mind me. But if you could, you can just ignore all that crap.
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