Shaking.
Shaking.
1) PRESENTATION IS OVER. YESSSS!!!!!
2) Though I was nervous, I wasn't shot at. so... so... relieved.... OTL
3) Being progressive after being taught a lesson about procrastination!
4) Being the very solution I need to get out of potholes.
5) Happy hormones? haha! :p
6) Having memories.
7) Helping me to see the importance of having a close relationship with Him.
8) MY EARS. MY SO VERY VERY GOOD AND IMPORTANT-TO-ME-FOR-THE-REST-OF-L-MY-LIFE EARS!!!
9) Air-con remote controls -_-
10) Learning guzheng for 10 years did not go to waste at all.
Shaking. I was really, really shaking during the presentation. My mind was blank and I didn't get to say what I rehearsed somewhat many times at home ._." I learnt that procrastinating won't bring you anywhere. I mean, sure, you can push it aside on some day given the reason you're not feeling well so you excuse yourself, but that doesn't mean you can keep doing it and leave all that last minute work to cram within 1-2 weeks just like that. And I really mean, A LOT of work. In my case, I had to look like I improved piano/keyboard skills over a span of 6 weeks. yup. learnt my lesson. -.-
There was also another lesson I learnt today, just this morning. Sure, the past few days I've been praying about trusting in God and letting go and letting God because if I were to go on like this, I'd have a nervous breakdown - yes, which I did in the morning, but it's alright, I didn't vomit or faint or anything, I was just shaking really badly, my fingers/hands, that is. Up till now, I still don't get it. In my stressful times, I find it hard to trust in God. So what IS the solution to this? Then I found myself asking myself this: Have I been seriously spending time with God even before starting to practice/prepare for the presentation?
Well, I did have times I was serious, but most of the time, I just sweep things through; I learn something, pray about it, the end. go sleep. During my practice days, it was even worse. I was so so distracted, concentrating on what I needed to do, every single day, almost every single hour/minute/second. Yes, CLEARLY, I was living my life in anxiety. Why? procrastination.
It was so bad that every time I came home, I went straight to my piano, flip up the cover, throw it on the back of the chair, sit, practice. sometimes with metronome, of course. After dinner, play. After I take a bath, play. I was literally playing the piano about 4 HOURS every single day. Mind you, there're days I come home at 7pm+, 8pm+, 10pm+, 11pm+. My dad was even warning me to control my piano volume (it's digital, so I can control the vol), when it was about 12am+. Yes, I was still practicing. Terrible, right?
Sigh. A few days before today, I tried. I tried spending a serious time doing qt. God and myself and the Holy Spirit. nothing else.... nothing else.......... Thoughts of the presentation and how it'd turn out crept up on me. I was doing my best to concentrate. I even remembered the verse "Peace I leave with you; Peace I give to you, Not as of the world do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid." Who knew? I was just uttering words. My soul was still elsewhere... sitting at the piano. -_-
Sadly, it was way too late to realise my mistake... My mistake of procrastinating... being lazy in the beginning of this term... slacking... having fun... That's not what poly is about... And definitely not the life God wants us to lead. wants me to lead.
So.. guys.. If you're having the same problem as me, I don't know if you'll even do something about it after reading this. Some of you may see this as a wake up call for you to get your butt off the chair or bed and eyes off this screen/page and get started on whatever you have to do. Some others, for all you know, you might have to be like me, to go through everything, right till the end, to experience and then truly realize deep inside, where you've gone wrong, then turn to God again, humble yourself to repent, earnestly seek Him.
Well, I gotta get going. Going through this stressful period has seriously drained me of my sleep and... yeah. I've got an 8am class later. Oh boy! Anyways, I shall go do my qt now and turn in for today! Hope some of you find this post useful! (:
10
things I thank God for.
1) PRESENTATION IS OVER. YESSSS!!!!!
2) Though I was nervous, I wasn't shot at. so... so... relieved.... OTL
3) Being progressive after being taught a lesson about procrastination!
4) Being the very solution I need to get out of potholes.
5) Happy hormones? haha! :p
6) Having memories.
7) Helping me to see the importance of having a close relationship with Him.
8) MY EARS. MY SO VERY VERY GOOD AND IMPORTANT-TO-ME-FOR-THE-REST-OF-L-MY-LIFE EARS!!!
9) Air-con remote controls -_-
10) Learning guzheng for 10 years did not go to waste at all.
~~~
Shaking. I was really, really shaking during the presentation. My mind was blank and I didn't get to say what I rehearsed somewhat many times at home ._." I learnt that procrastinating won't bring you anywhere. I mean, sure, you can push it aside on some day given the reason you're not feeling well so you excuse yourself, but that doesn't mean you can keep doing it and leave all that last minute work to cram within 1-2 weeks just like that. And I really mean, A LOT of work. In my case, I had to look like I improved piano/keyboard skills over a span of 6 weeks. yup. learnt my lesson. -.-
There was also another lesson I learnt today, just this morning. Sure, the past few days I've been praying about trusting in God and letting go and letting God because if I were to go on like this, I'd have a nervous breakdown - yes, which I did in the morning, but it's alright, I didn't vomit or faint or anything, I was just shaking really badly, my fingers/hands, that is. Up till now, I still don't get it. In my stressful times, I find it hard to trust in God. So what IS the solution to this? Then I found myself asking myself this: Have I been seriously spending time with God even before starting to practice/prepare for the presentation?
Well, I did have times I was serious, but most of the time, I just sweep things through; I learn something, pray about it, the end. go sleep. During my practice days, it was even worse. I was so so distracted, concentrating on what I needed to do, every single day, almost every single hour/minute/second. Yes, CLEARLY, I was living my life in anxiety. Why? procrastination.
It was so bad that every time I came home, I went straight to my piano, flip up the cover, throw it on the back of the chair, sit, practice. sometimes with metronome, of course. After dinner, play. After I take a bath, play. I was literally playing the piano about 4 HOURS every single day. Mind you, there're days I come home at 7pm+, 8pm+, 10pm+, 11pm+. My dad was even warning me to control my piano volume (it's digital, so I can control the vol), when it was about 12am+. Yes, I was still practicing. Terrible, right?
Sigh. A few days before today, I tried. I tried spending a serious time doing qt. God and myself and the Holy Spirit. nothing else.... nothing else.......... Thoughts of the presentation and how it'd turn out crept up on me. I was doing my best to concentrate. I even remembered the verse "Peace I leave with you; Peace I give to you, Not as of the world do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid." Who knew? I was just uttering words. My soul was still elsewhere... sitting at the piano. -_-
Sadly, it was way too late to realise my mistake... My mistake of procrastinating... being lazy in the beginning of this term... slacking... having fun... That's not what poly is about... And definitely not the life God wants us to lead. wants me to lead.
So.. guys.. If you're having the same problem as me, I don't know if you'll even do something about it after reading this. Some of you may see this as a wake up call for you to get your butt off the chair or bed and eyes off this screen/page and get started on whatever you have to do. Some others, for all you know, you might have to be like me, to go through everything, right till the end, to experience and then truly realize deep inside, where you've gone wrong, then turn to God again, humble yourself to repent, earnestly seek Him.
Well, I gotta get going. Going through this stressful period has seriously drained me of my sleep and... yeah. I've got an 8am class later. Oh boy! Anyways, I shall go do my qt now and turn in for today! Hope some of you find this post useful! (:
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