MIXED FEELINGS.

Why is it so?

Don't I already know who I am? My identity?
Still I shun away from Him
Still I don't get it

Ever since that very day
Everything went wrong
Everything that I tried to obey
I couldn't do so for long

It's midway of my tests
Again I lack of rest
I've tried and still am
To do my best

But it seems this little flame
Of what it seems that holds
The key to my motivation door
Is dying off.

~~~~~~

It was never the same
With her and with you
My anger was never tame
With you, but with her, it was and is.

Even when you both say the same thing
My heart feels for her, not you
Til I hear my phone ring
Then I reconsider to pick up or not.

When you said the same thing as her
I smiled to her and change my expression
At you, I face distress and sorrows and tears
With her, gone is all this tension

What is wrong with me?
I have not this grudge I hold in my hand
Opening my fingers - all that I see
Ashes of the happiness that I used to defend.