V-VR-VROOOOOMMM!!! (Saturday)
What does that sound like? Car . yes . and car = travelling .
Jeez . I really did not have a choice whether or not to follow her .. Well, I'm talking about my mom yeah ..
You see, yesterday I couldn't sleep again = insomnia..
And so, today needed to wake up at 8.15am -_-
Mann.. and can u imagine I slept at like .. dunno 2am+ or 3am+ .. Then wake up at the sound of the alarm .. well, in the end I didn't wake up at 8.15am lah, I woke up at 8.30am. BUT STILL, 15 minutes wasn't much of a difference, I just had lesser time to washup and dress up before going to school to get my pre-ordered books ..
When I got dressed up, I remembered that my school's discipline mistress, or whatever, told the security guard that whoever did not wear a school uniform, shall not be let into the school .
SHIT .
Then I walked back into the room to change -_-
Soon after, my mom came home, looking rather .. well, let's just say she was in a hurry . She told me to take my breakfast on the table . Me, still in my blurry state, looked around and went, "huh?" Giving the blur look and my mom got mad and pointed in the living room, at the dining table there . And I went, "Oohhh........ k ." And I took out the four waffles and looked into every one of them to see if there was any cheese or chocolate flavour inside ..... sadly, all plain T.T
I WAS LIKE A WALKING ZOMBIE, only walking zombies come out at night, apparently, mine's in the morning . And I DON'T HAVE STITCHES on my forehead!
After eating the waffle, I drank a cup of water, painfully swallowed the waffle and the water down together (well, I kinda took a big bite, don't know why =.=) Then left the house right after my mom looked through the newspaper and eat the waffle . I brought my jap book to study and learn .... Well, after a long period of time of tests and exams, I'd forgotten almost more than 3/4 of the book --"
So I decided to bring it . However, I just slept whenever I had the chance to - in the car =.="
OH WELL, so much for the motivation to study -.- AHHAHAHA!! AND THENNNN ..
My mom first went to school to get my books . When I got there, I saw like, my schoolmates, my age de, all not wearing school uniform . OMG I FEEL SO KIA SU WEAR LAH PLS!!!!!!!!! To avoid feeling that way, I quickly got the books, after the person showed us just to make sure that the order wasn't wrong, then I quickly RAN OUT AND INTO THE CAR -.-"
Went to collect the chocolate cake from "Vicky's" . And.. duh, like, I slept throughout the whole journey . Still, despite the fact that my mom knows I was really tired, she told me to go collect the cakes and pay -.- MANNN!! And because I let down my hair, and slept in the car - I'd probably have moved my head here and there - then when I got down, I brushed my hair and felt like I just woken up from my beauty sleep - AT HOME, IN MY BED . Then i stretched . hoped no one saw that, cos I was still in my school-u and I looked awful =.="
After collecting it, I waited for my mom to drive one big round before coming back to "fetch" me . MAn... while I was waiting for her, I closed my eyes some more --"
Next stop: Paternal grandmother's house . Drop cake, as usual, sleep in the car, drive to maternal grandmother's house . Drop cake, as usual, sleep in the car . Mann, this is easy to post, I can just copy and past -.-"
OH WELL.... AND SO .. finally, at my mom's mom place, she bought lunch there, and I saw my aunt too . Well, my mom was walking back to the car then I saw her . Then they were arguing about something luh .. Then I saw my aunt mouthing these words to me, "YOU MOTHER AH!!" And kept pointing to my mom and stare at me in a somewhat agitated, but .. um .. not? LOL . But hey, I wasn't sure, I was much likely trying to open my eyes to see her . Don't want her going home and tell my grandmother about how sleepy I look and tomorrow when I go to her place again, die . NAGNAGNAGNAGNAG ....... zzz . some eg >> (translation from chi > eng) "Why did you sleep so late?", "Do you always sleep so late?" .. "CANNOT YOU KNOW!!"
zzz ... same old same old .
Then went home and eat my lunch . Amazingly, to my mom's surprise, I ate like - very fast . Like my mom and I ate almost at the same timing but my mom kinda started first . Then while I finished, she left about one quarter to half more to go (her meal) . Well, honestly I was surprised too . I just didn't .. well.. didn't felt it until I finished my meal .
Played maple and surf the net till my mom came back to fetch me to church . She was listening to some cooking session thingy . Saw some of the COGS moms . Umum ... let's see, Marcus's mom, Nathaniel's mom, Eunice's mom, auntie Laura and some other oldies from COGS =x
While waiting for the session to be over, I was studying jap . I was finally awake . all of a sudden . LOL . Then I felt like I actually RE-LEARNED it more than revising -.-"
Let's have a conversation, shall we?
Me: HAJIME MASHITE! Dozo yoroshiku!
You: HAJIME MASHITE! Dozo yoroshiku!
Me: Anata wa donata desu ka?
You: Watashi wa YOU-san (:
Me: So desu ka .. Anata wa nani desu ka?
You: WATASHI WA HUMAN DESU!!
Me: O ..... HAHA!! EHH ............. SHISTUREI SHIMASU! (: (runs off)
You: -.-
Sigh .. so lame .
EMBARRASSMENT . somewhat . (Yesterday, Sunday)
It was .. a really rushing cum embarrassing and exciting and dreadful moment .. (s) .
Well, the day started off when I woke up @ 9.30am .
Then got ready, wash up, went out to my mom's mom's house to celebrate her birthday . Turns out we were late (my mum, sis and I) . 'Cos my cousins - mother, father, sean, mark, josh and joel all there le . Then my mum was the one to get the food for everyone, so.. yeah, everyone was .. starving .. I think . But anyways, after the food came, no one ate -.-
My sis and I were busy opening the covers of the containers while my mom just nag and nag like so rush like that . And my sis and I were like shouting at her, "MUMMY! WE'RE OPENING IT OKAY!! NOBODY'S EVEN STANDING AT THE TABLE!" MAN --"
Then she panic here and there my sis and I cannot stand it, just dao her =x
I was the first one to EAT . MUAHAHHAHAH!!! No one eating what -.- They were all watching G.I. Joe . LOL . Well, watched it already . It was really damn nice . But anyways, eat already, then ate cake, took pic, somehow remembered I was quite fustrated about the fact that my mom so irritated me to hurry do something when there was actually no hurry doing it .. whatever .
Mom drove me to church to rehearse with Pastor Kenneth . After rehearsing, I played my own songs . Man, I've been screwing my songs nowadays . Sigh . Anyways, Soon after, I left the piano and while walking out, I saw Shaunald peeking into one of the small windows of the door then, before turning off the lights and air-con, I opened the door with my scoresheet in my right hand . Then I looked to the left, saw him . "EH? What are u doing here?" Isn't it quite obvious ..... -.-
After showing himt he scoresheet, he looked at it and was like .. "OH .. Aiya, 'Abide with me' is a nice song.... Can one lah!" Yeah, I hoped . I hoped every word he said would come true, that every note that I play would be perfect and HEARD (Not like last time, press until so hard - for me lah - then still nothing .) WELL! This time at home I press MUCHMUCH harder xD
Turns out, my dad told me every note was clear . Even though I totally screwed the intro, nobody really cared . But it was really .. UGH . Anyways, moving on to YE time . I thought it'd be another boring session with Revd. Peter about prayer or something . It was just so boring I nearly fell asleep . But after his speech, when we were told to stand and like, lift up our hands as a sign to receive, well, we did worship and yeah ... Then he said to tell us that those who wanted to.. uh .. dunnodunno, then say it out loud lah . Then like, nobody say .. LOL!! Then I .. still being the freakishly shy girl, was whispering . And just by that, my legs started to shiver . Don't know why!!
Then when Revd. Peter told us that those who wanted the gift or asking for dunno what dunno what, then come forward, later realised it was prayer for individual lah . Then um .. after I saw Andrew go up . You know, I've been wanting to do this . I really cannot keep staying in my shell forever, so I decided to take my first step - I went forward too . Then I saw esther coming next to me on my left . Then suddenly while Revd. Peter was praying for Andrew, Andrew fell back . Then esther was like whispering to me, "Maybe we shouldn't stand behind the guys ....." Then and said, "Yeah .. haha .."
Then all of a sudden, I felt like crying .. or somewhat! Then suddenly a tear came running down . WHY WAS I TEARING??!? Then followed by another and ANOTHER . Oh my gawd . Then I told God u know, because I wasn't even prayed for yet, Revd. Peter was still praying for Marcus (Third person he's praying for) . Before the next one - Saul - I cried . I totally cried . My head looked down, before I looked down, I saw the rest all looking up and lifting their hands up . Why? Why was I crying? I didn't even FELT SAD!!
But then .. suddenly, there were images that flashed across my mind . What? What was this? Rejections? Stress? Why are there so many pictures flashing for one second and then gone again?? Then I saw after Revd. Peter finished praying for Saul, he came to me . I was about to burst out in tears . Literarly feeling the pain . I could feel mucus coming down my nose - ew! Then I came to a point when I didn't care what was around me . I just suddenly felt pathetic . alone . sad . in pain . stressed . depressed . demoralised . And whatever negative thoughts came rushing through my mind . All the pasts that I thought I overcame .
When Revd. Peter was praying for me, I realised I kept frowning . I realised that when I had moments of feeling calm and my face went.. u know, relaxed . Then I fell back . Quite a number of times . My heart was aching . Why was I crying? I asked again - to God . Then I fell back, nearly losing balance, as a reflex, my foot went backwards . I felt scared . Then when I fell, someone caught me . I cried even more . When Revd. Peter kept saying. "Some more, some more!" I REALLY REALLY COULD NOT TAKE IT!!
MY HEAD WAS HOT .
MY EYES WERE SWOLLEN .
I WAS CRYING LIKE A MAD BABY (without sound) .
I WAS SO UPSET - I STILL DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHY!!
Then when he left, I felt someone behind me speaking in tongues . I was crying . I was so so upset . But what had me feel that way? I suddenly thought of my past friendships . relationships with parents, siblings .. I'm just .. lost for words .
After He finished praying for everyone in front and in the entire room, I started to sniffle . I could feel like ... probably 14 years of my life's guilt, pain, stress all coming right at me, I was nearly dying . My heart couldn't take it . I looked as if I was crying and hic-cupping . Then Auntie/Pastor Kar Foon came to me and hugged me . She was kinda... maybe not last, but one of the least people to come to me and hug me . I was so upset, I just didn't care who was it, but I hugged back anyway . I felt so bad afterwards because all my teardrops and mucus all "rubbed" onto her clothes . I felt extremely bad .
I knew my guzheng had something to do with all this crying cos when .. well, the moment she mentioned about it, I cried even harder . The small person in me knew everything, but the dummy person WITH a solid brain doesn't have a clue . at all .
The moment I left the room quite shortly after, just one step . I forget everything . freaky much? It's like I do not remember anything milliseconds ago . All I did was touch my face, and asked myself, "Why is my face wet? Was I crying? Why was I crying?" Then I suddenly felt a little upset, still don't know about what, all I knew was that I just wanted to go to the toilet to clean up, I must've looked really awful after my baby-cry . Man, my eyes WERE that swollen .
After the clean up and went back into the room, Meilia, whom I sat next to, sounded so concern, "Hey, u okay?" Then.. well, as I did not really remember much, I said, "yeah .." Then when Auntie/Pastor Kar Foon was talking, memories of minutes-ago past came rushing back . I nearly started crying again . But this time, I was stronger . somewhat . She said something like (when I entered the room, and all that I remember), "Yeah, like some of you .. Some of you fell back, because God tells you to rest, it's time to rest, you don't have enough sleep, some of you cried because the Holy Spirit tells you to cry ...." And I was wondering .. If the Holy Spirit really did that, then there must be a reason . But anyways, I didn't want to think about that right now, I've got something else to worry about .
After YE, I walked out with Deborah beside me . We paused and stood leaning on the wooden cupboards next to the door we exited from . Then when Auntie/Pastor Kar Foon came out with a box in her arm, she came to me and told me something like this, "Practice . Then it'll be fine . Just practice .... oh - and, God tells us that if we are hurt, and the reason is because of him, rejoice, for the reward you have will be much greater .." Then she gave me a slight smile and walked away . I was shocked . Really . Well, it kinda applied to the images that flashed across my mind about minutes ago .. so .. well .. freaky . The most freaky part was when I found out that my mom could speak in tongues too . And that she told me to confront her . It's good to .. yeah .
Later had dinner and birthday celebration with my dad's mom's birthday . Well, whaddyano? both parent's moms have the same birthday! -.-
Their maid, Nova, apparently was her birthday the day before yesterday (Saturday) . In fact, actually my mom's mom's birthday oso same date . but since saturday not free, shift to sunday, celebrate both on same day --"
Met cousins later on and had a great time talking.. etcetc . Then well .. yeah . nothing else interesting happened . So on and so forth . NEXT DAY COCKLEDOODLEDOOOO!!! (:
COCKLEDOODLEDOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Woke up early . Today 12-2pm gonna play badminton with Jelene . too bad Amabel couldn't come, she had cca . After eating cereal, I'd realised that I had rashes . OHMYGAWD. And they looked damn gross . I felt like puking when I saw it . Because, it was not only on my leg, but a little bit on my hand too! WHAT THE HELL DID I EAT YESTERDAY?!?!?!? Oh man ... shucks mann ..... ewewew ..... itchy too ................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Argh . I really wonder how I'm gonna play badminton later on -.-
I even felt like cancelling out on Jelene, saying that I didn't wanna come . But if I were to say that and state a stupid reason, it's not fair man .. she even paid for the booking of the court thingy, the least I could do was to GO . Then I called her.. just to tell her I may be late cos my phone time was 11.40am+ Then she told me to meet her at 11.50am at the court there .. so.. yeah, just telling her I'd be late . but - no need for that! She called ME instead . Telling me that she just woke up . and that was by the time I reached the bus stop already -.-
And it was? 11.45am!!! LOLLLLL!!! Wonder how she can sleep so long . Well, she doesn't look like that type who'd sleep long de ma ... Anyways, I went to Amabel's house to kill some time since I got off the bus soon after and - initially planned to change bus, 113, take to the CC there but then when Jelene told me she just woke up, well .. change of plans! I went to her house because I found out that she didn't go cca, she was SICK! LOL . Then later she asked if I wanted her to play with Jelene and I badminton . Then I was like .. "You sick leh! Rest lah! Or you can watch :D" After texting that I was at Amabel's house and the reason .. why she was at home .. to Jelene, she told me to tell Amabel to come play . LOL !! N' even told me to tell her to get well soon --"
OH well, in the end, she came . LOLLL . When the clock struck 2pm, we packed up and left . Ran under the rain to kovan and ate at YOSHINOYA!! (:
After eating, Jelene left and I went to cold storage to buy pampers for Orlie . She's having her menses now and had just ran out of pampers --" So my dad told me to get since I was near kovan (he told me to get it when I was at the badminton court there) .. Then I felt so .. so weird because Amabel told me I look/felt like a mom to Orlie . LOL! Well, she is PART OF ME ... HAHHAHHAHHAA!!!
And then, I walked around.. carrying that THING in my hands while she goes to the coffeeshop to buy her chicken rice before heading back to her place . Slacked, watched her 3.30-4.30pm show . While I play maple and watched the show a little .. Then went home .
The bus was so quiet .. suddenly my phone rang . the WORST PART WAS .. it was 'Body Language' .. OHMYGAWD . The first few secs were words . LOUDLOUD words . ohmygawsh . so embarrassed +_+
Then got off the bus at the bus stop . the freaking construction of the upcoming HUGE new mall was SUPER DUPER NOISY . Cheng xi later smsed me and I was like .. man.. I stink and now got sms to sms .. like .. dowan to reply +_+ But I replied anyways . AND .... when I got home, I told my dad how I wanted my racks to be, and pictures at where.... etc etc ...
OOPS! My dad dropped something . GTG! ByE (:
CHECKMATE! drAmAQUEEN .
What does that sound like? Car . yes . and car = travelling .
Jeez . I really did not have a choice whether or not to follow her .. Well, I'm talking about my mom yeah ..
You see, yesterday I couldn't sleep again = insomnia..
And so, today needed to wake up at 8.15am -_-
Mann.. and can u imagine I slept at like .. dunno 2am+ or 3am+ .. Then wake up at the sound of the alarm .. well, in the end I didn't wake up at 8.15am lah, I woke up at 8.30am. BUT STILL, 15 minutes wasn't much of a difference, I just had lesser time to washup and dress up before going to school to get my pre-ordered books ..
When I got dressed up, I remembered that my school's discipline mistress, or whatever, told the security guard that whoever did not wear a school uniform, shall not be let into the school .
SHIT .
Then I walked back into the room to change -_-
Soon after, my mom came home, looking rather .. well, let's just say she was in a hurry . She told me to take my breakfast on the table . Me, still in my blurry state, looked around and went, "huh?" Giving the blur look and my mom got mad and pointed in the living room, at the dining table there . And I went, "Oohhh........ k ." And I took out the four waffles and looked into every one of them to see if there was any cheese or chocolate flavour inside ..... sadly, all plain T.T
I WAS LIKE A WALKING ZOMBIE, only walking zombies come out at night, apparently, mine's in the morning . And I DON'T HAVE STITCHES on my forehead!
After eating the waffle, I drank a cup of water, painfully swallowed the waffle and the water down together (well, I kinda took a big bite, don't know why =.=) Then left the house right after my mom looked through the newspaper and eat the waffle . I brought my jap book to study and learn .... Well, after a long period of time of tests and exams, I'd forgotten almost more than 3/4 of the book --"
So I decided to bring it . However, I just slept whenever I had the chance to - in the car =.="
OH WELL, so much for the motivation to study -.- AHHAHAHA!! AND THENNNN ..
My mom first went to school to get my books . When I got there, I saw like, my schoolmates, my age de, all not wearing school uniform . OMG I FEEL SO KIA SU WEAR LAH PLS!!!!!!!!! To avoid feeling that way, I quickly got the books, after the person showed us just to make sure that the order wasn't wrong, then I quickly RAN OUT AND INTO THE CAR -.-"
Went to collect the chocolate cake from "Vicky's" . And.. duh, like, I slept throughout the whole journey . Still, despite the fact that my mom knows I was really tired, she told me to go collect the cakes and pay -.- MANNN!! And because I let down my hair, and slept in the car - I'd probably have moved my head here and there - then when I got down, I brushed my hair and felt like I just woken up from my beauty sleep - AT HOME, IN MY BED . Then i stretched . hoped no one saw that, cos I was still in my school-u and I looked awful =.="
After collecting it, I waited for my mom to drive one big round before coming back to "fetch" me . MAn... while I was waiting for her, I closed my eyes some more --"
Next stop: Paternal grandmother's house . Drop cake, as usual, sleep in the car, drive to maternal grandmother's house . Drop cake, as usual, sleep in the car . Mann, this is easy to post, I can just copy and past -.-"
OH WELL.... AND SO .. finally, at my mom's mom place, she bought lunch there, and I saw my aunt too . Well, my mom was walking back to the car then I saw her . Then they were arguing about something luh .. Then I saw my aunt mouthing these words to me, "YOU MOTHER AH!!" And kept pointing to my mom and stare at me in a somewhat agitated, but .. um .. not? LOL . But hey, I wasn't sure, I was much likely trying to open my eyes to see her . Don't want her going home and tell my grandmother about how sleepy I look and tomorrow when I go to her place again, die . NAGNAGNAGNAGNAG ....... zzz . some eg >> (translation from chi > eng) "Why did you sleep so late?", "Do you always sleep so late?" .. "CANNOT YOU KNOW!!"
zzz ... same old same old .
Then went home and eat my lunch . Amazingly, to my mom's surprise, I ate like - very fast . Like my mom and I ate almost at the same timing but my mom kinda started first . Then while I finished, she left about one quarter to half more to go (her meal) . Well, honestly I was surprised too . I just didn't .. well.. didn't felt it until I finished my meal .
Played maple and surf the net till my mom came back to fetch me to church . She was listening to some cooking session thingy . Saw some of the COGS moms . Umum ... let's see, Marcus's mom, Nathaniel's mom, Eunice's mom, auntie Laura and some other oldies from COGS =x
While waiting for the session to be over, I was studying jap . I was finally awake . all of a sudden . LOL . Then I felt like I actually RE-LEARNED it more than revising -.-"
Let's have a conversation, shall we?
Me: HAJIME MASHITE! Dozo yoroshiku!
You: HAJIME MASHITE! Dozo yoroshiku!
Me: Anata wa donata desu ka?
You: Watashi wa YOU-san (:
Me: So desu ka .. Anata wa nani desu ka?
You: WATASHI WA HUMAN DESU!!
Me: O ..... HAHA!! EHH ............. SHISTUREI SHIMASU! (: (runs off)
You: -.-
Sigh .. so lame .
EMBARRASSMENT . somewhat . (Yesterday, Sunday)
It was .. a really rushing cum embarrassing and exciting and dreadful moment .. (s) .
Well, the day started off when I woke up @ 9.30am .
Then got ready, wash up, went out to my mom's mom's house to celebrate her birthday . Turns out we were late (my mum, sis and I) . 'Cos my cousins - mother, father, sean, mark, josh and joel all there le . Then my mum was the one to get the food for everyone, so.. yeah, everyone was .. starving .. I think . But anyways, after the food came, no one ate -.-
My sis and I were busy opening the covers of the containers while my mom just nag and nag like so rush like that . And my sis and I were like shouting at her, "MUMMY! WE'RE OPENING IT OKAY!! NOBODY'S EVEN STANDING AT THE TABLE!" MAN --"
Then she panic here and there my sis and I cannot stand it, just dao her =x
I was the first one to EAT . MUAHAHHAHAH!!! No one eating what -.- They were all watching G.I. Joe . LOL . Well, watched it already . It was really damn nice . But anyways, eat already, then ate cake, took pic, somehow remembered I was quite fustrated about the fact that my mom so irritated me to hurry do something when there was actually no hurry doing it .. whatever .
Mom drove me to church to rehearse with Pastor Kenneth . After rehearsing, I played my own songs . Man, I've been screwing my songs nowadays . Sigh . Anyways, Soon after, I left the piano and while walking out, I saw Shaunald peeking into one of the small windows of the door then, before turning off the lights and air-con, I opened the door with my scoresheet in my right hand . Then I looked to the left, saw him . "EH? What are u doing here?" Isn't it quite obvious ..... -.-
After showing himt he scoresheet, he looked at it and was like .. "OH .. Aiya, 'Abide with me' is a nice song.... Can one lah!" Yeah, I hoped . I hoped every word he said would come true, that every note that I play would be perfect and HEARD (Not like last time, press until so hard - for me lah - then still nothing .) WELL! This time at home I press MUCHMUCH harder xD
Turns out, my dad told me every note was clear . Even though I totally screwed the intro, nobody really cared . But it was really .. UGH . Anyways, moving on to YE time . I thought it'd be another boring session with Revd. Peter about prayer or something . It was just so boring I nearly fell asleep . But after his speech, when we were told to stand and like, lift up our hands as a sign to receive, well, we did worship and yeah ... Then he said to tell us that those who wanted to.. uh .. dunnodunno, then say it out loud lah . Then like, nobody say .. LOL!! Then I .. still being the freakishly shy girl, was whispering . And just by that, my legs started to shiver . Don't know why!!
Then when Revd. Peter told us that those who wanted the gift or asking for dunno what dunno what, then come forward, later realised it was prayer for individual lah . Then um .. after I saw Andrew go up . You know, I've been wanting to do this . I really cannot keep staying in my shell forever, so I decided to take my first step - I went forward too . Then I saw esther coming next to me on my left . Then suddenly while Revd. Peter was praying for Andrew, Andrew fell back . Then esther was like whispering to me, "Maybe we shouldn't stand behind the guys ....." Then and said, "Yeah .. haha .."
Then all of a sudden, I felt like crying .. or somewhat! Then suddenly a tear came running down . WHY WAS I TEARING??!? Then followed by another and ANOTHER . Oh my gawd . Then I told God u know, because I wasn't even prayed for yet, Revd. Peter was still praying for Marcus (Third person he's praying for) . Before the next one - Saul - I cried . I totally cried . My head looked down, before I looked down, I saw the rest all looking up and lifting their hands up . Why? Why was I crying? I didn't even FELT SAD!!
But then .. suddenly, there were images that flashed across my mind . What? What was this? Rejections? Stress? Why are there so many pictures flashing for one second and then gone again?? Then I saw after Revd. Peter finished praying for Saul, he came to me . I was about to burst out in tears . Literarly feeling the pain . I could feel mucus coming down my nose - ew! Then I came to a point when I didn't care what was around me . I just suddenly felt pathetic . alone . sad . in pain . stressed . depressed . demoralised . And whatever negative thoughts came rushing through my mind . All the pasts that I thought I overcame .
When Revd. Peter was praying for me, I realised I kept frowning . I realised that when I had moments of feeling calm and my face went.. u know, relaxed . Then I fell back . Quite a number of times . My heart was aching . Why was I crying? I asked again - to God . Then I fell back, nearly losing balance, as a reflex, my foot went backwards . I felt scared . Then when I fell, someone caught me . I cried even more . When Revd. Peter kept saying. "Some more, some more!" I REALLY REALLY COULD NOT TAKE IT!!
MY HEAD WAS HOT .
MY EYES WERE SWOLLEN .
I WAS CRYING LIKE A MAD BABY (without sound) .
I WAS SO UPSET - I STILL DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHY!!
Then when he left, I felt someone behind me speaking in tongues . I was crying . I was so so upset . But what had me feel that way? I suddenly thought of my past friendships . relationships with parents, siblings .. I'm just .. lost for words .
After He finished praying for everyone in front and in the entire room, I started to sniffle . I could feel like ... probably 14 years of my life's guilt, pain, stress all coming right at me, I was nearly dying . My heart couldn't take it . I looked as if I was crying and hic-cupping . Then Auntie/Pastor Kar Foon came to me and hugged me . She was kinda... maybe not last, but one of the least people to come to me and hug me . I was so upset, I just didn't care who was it, but I hugged back anyway . I felt so bad afterwards because all my teardrops and mucus all "rubbed" onto her clothes . I felt extremely bad .
I knew my guzheng had something to do with all this crying cos when .. well, the moment she mentioned about it, I cried even harder . The small person in me knew everything, but the dummy person WITH a solid brain doesn't have a clue . at all .
The moment I left the room quite shortly after, just one step . I forget everything . freaky much? It's like I do not remember anything milliseconds ago . All I did was touch my face, and asked myself, "Why is my face wet? Was I crying? Why was I crying?" Then I suddenly felt a little upset, still don't know about what, all I knew was that I just wanted to go to the toilet to clean up, I must've looked really awful after my baby-cry . Man, my eyes WERE that swollen .
After the clean up and went back into the room, Meilia, whom I sat next to, sounded so concern, "Hey, u okay?" Then.. well, as I did not really remember much, I said, "yeah .." Then when Auntie/Pastor Kar Foon was talking, memories of minutes-ago past came rushing back . I nearly started crying again . But this time, I was stronger . somewhat . She said something like (when I entered the room, and all that I remember), "Yeah, like some of you .. Some of you fell back, because God tells you to rest, it's time to rest, you don't have enough sleep, some of you cried because the Holy Spirit tells you to cry ...." And I was wondering .. If the Holy Spirit really did that, then there must be a reason . But anyways, I didn't want to think about that right now, I've got something else to worry about .
After YE, I walked out with Deborah beside me . We paused and stood leaning on the wooden cupboards next to the door we exited from . Then when Auntie/Pastor Kar Foon came out with a box in her arm, she came to me and told me something like this, "Practice . Then it'll be fine . Just practice .... oh - and, God tells us that if we are hurt, and the reason is because of him, rejoice, for the reward you have will be much greater .." Then she gave me a slight smile and walked away . I was shocked . Really . Well, it kinda applied to the images that flashed across my mind about minutes ago .. so .. well .. freaky . The most freaky part was when I found out that my mom could speak in tongues too . And that she told me to confront her . It's good to .. yeah .
Later had dinner and birthday celebration with my dad's mom's birthday . Well, whaddyano? both parent's moms have the same birthday! -.-
Their maid, Nova, apparently was her birthday the day before yesterday (Saturday) . In fact, actually my mom's mom's birthday oso same date . but since saturday not free, shift to sunday, celebrate both on same day --"
Met cousins later on and had a great time talking.. etcetc . Then well .. yeah . nothing else interesting happened . So on and so forth . NEXT DAY COCKLEDOODLEDOOOO!!! (:
COCKLEDOODLEDOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Woke up early . Today 12-2pm gonna play badminton with Jelene . too bad Amabel couldn't come, she had cca . After eating cereal, I'd realised that I had rashes . OHMYGAWD. And they looked damn gross . I felt like puking when I saw it . Because, it was not only on my leg, but a little bit on my hand too! WHAT THE HELL DID I EAT YESTERDAY?!?!?!? Oh man ... shucks mann ..... ewewew ..... itchy too ................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Argh . I really wonder how I'm gonna play badminton later on -.-
I even felt like cancelling out on Jelene, saying that I didn't wanna come . But if I were to say that and state a stupid reason, it's not fair man .. she even paid for the booking of the court thingy, the least I could do was to GO . Then I called her.. just to tell her I may be late cos my phone time was 11.40am+ Then she told me to meet her at 11.50am at the court there .. so.. yeah, just telling her I'd be late . but - no need for that! She called ME instead . Telling me that she just woke up . and that was by the time I reached the bus stop already -.-
And it was? 11.45am!!! LOLLLLL!!! Wonder how she can sleep so long . Well, she doesn't look like that type who'd sleep long de ma ... Anyways, I went to Amabel's house to kill some time since I got off the bus soon after and - initially planned to change bus, 113, take to the CC there but then when Jelene told me she just woke up, well .. change of plans! I went to her house because I found out that she didn't go cca, she was SICK! LOL . Then later she asked if I wanted her to play with Jelene and I badminton . Then I was like .. "You sick leh! Rest lah! Or you can watch :D" After texting that I was at Amabel's house and the reason .. why she was at home .. to Jelene, she told me to tell Amabel to come play . LOL !! N' even told me to tell her to get well soon --"
OH well, in the end, she came . LOLLL . When the clock struck 2pm, we packed up and left . Ran under the rain to kovan and ate at YOSHINOYA!! (:
After eating, Jelene left and I went to cold storage to buy pampers for Orlie . She's having her menses now and had just ran out of pampers --" So my dad told me to get since I was near kovan (he told me to get it when I was at the badminton court there) .. Then I felt so .. so weird because Amabel told me I look/felt like a mom to Orlie . LOL! Well, she is PART OF ME ... HAHHAHHAHHAA!!!
And then, I walked around.. carrying that THING in my hands while she goes to the coffeeshop to buy her chicken rice before heading back to her place . Slacked, watched her 3.30-4.30pm show . While I play maple and watched the show a little .. Then went home .
The bus was so quiet .. suddenly my phone rang . the WORST PART WAS .. it was 'Body Language' .. OHMYGAWD . The first few secs were words . LOUDLOUD words . ohmygawsh . so embarrassed +_+
Then got off the bus at the bus stop . the freaking construction of the upcoming HUGE new mall was SUPER DUPER NOISY . Cheng xi later smsed me and I was like .. man.. I stink and now got sms to sms .. like .. dowan to reply +_+ But I replied anyways . AND .... when I got home, I told my dad how I wanted my racks to be, and pictures at where.... etc etc ...
OOPS! My dad dropped something . GTG! ByE (:
CHECKMATE! drAmAQUEEN .
Comments