Warning: rage
Warning: rage
I'm trying to hold it in. I really am. You have no idea what wonderful and colorful words are running through my mind right now. I can totally list them all out here but I shan't, because I know this is a pretty influential platform. Living in a civilized world, I'll do my best to be civilized in this post.
Yeah, um. SO, I just got back my results for a module.
There were two assignments for that module. Assignment 1 is individual work whereas Assignment 2 is group work.
For assignment 1, it's composing your very own song, record and mix it.
I got a C+ for that.
Not enough.
For assignment 2, it's just recording different instruments with different kinds of miking techniques.
I got a B for that.
And what did I get the previous year for this module? A.
Now, I know that my headphones was a big factor that caused my grade - needed a good pair, but I bought one that had a boost in mids and bass, hence, it affected my mix pretty bad - but I never knew it'd be that bad. Surely, there was something else I missed out, but to hell with whatever comments I received from my lecturer because he never told me. He didn't even hint. Like, what the hell?
Why am I so affected by it? I am because this is the area that I wish to pursue in. When I saw other people who did their work last minute and get an A grade, I just really wonder what I did wrong, you know? And why is it my lecturer could tell that person his/her grey areas and not mine? I don't get it. Is there some sort of favouritism going on? 'Cos I'm sorry, if you don't like my face, tell that to your boss, don't reflect it on my grade.
Here I thought I was having a good day.
Today, work was very relaxing, I made some mistakes here and there, but I'm getting used to the cashier/admin job. Overall, I still love it more than what happened after work by like, 1000 times. Not that I even like what just happened one bit.
Another reason why I'm so affected is because my GPA is already going down and with that C+ and B - mind you, this module holds a pretty high credit, I think 8.. the highest is 12 - it's gonna go down even more. And if it drops below 3.7, there goes my chances - at all - to enter or even try for any local uni, or any uni in the entire world because damn it, it's so damn expensive out there. Why is this making me even more angry? Because DAMN IT, I have no scholarship because DAMN IT, none of them replied to me. They can reply to my friends who scored around the same GPA as I did, or slightly lower, and not me. I don't get it.
Maybe God doesn't want me to do music anymore. Maybe I should just stay being a housewife or just go do some random job, since I'm so glad and satisfied with that now. I could very well not do with music. Even if I do, I'm just gonna be some indie person writing my own songs, putting it on youtube where probably people might or might not rip it off, will probably put me down or compliment me, criticize; constructive or not, and I won't care. It doesn't matter anyway, I'm also not making any income out of it.
okay, end of being civilized because I can't take it anymore.
fuck.
The End of my rant.
I'm trying to hold it in. I really am. You have no idea what wonderful and colorful words are running through my mind right now. I can totally list them all out here but I shan't, because I know this is a pretty influential platform. Living in a civilized world, I'll do my best to be civilized in this post.
Yeah, um. SO, I just got back my results for a module.
There were two assignments for that module. Assignment 1 is individual work whereas Assignment 2 is group work.
For assignment 1, it's composing your very own song, record and mix it.
I got a C+ for that.
Not enough.
For assignment 2, it's just recording different instruments with different kinds of miking techniques.
I got a B for that.
And what did I get the previous year for this module? A.
Now, I know that my headphones was a big factor that caused my grade - needed a good pair, but I bought one that had a boost in mids and bass, hence, it affected my mix pretty bad - but I never knew it'd be that bad. Surely, there was something else I missed out, but to hell with whatever comments I received from my lecturer because he never told me. He didn't even hint. Like, what the hell?
Why am I so affected by it? I am because this is the area that I wish to pursue in. When I saw other people who did their work last minute and get an A grade, I just really wonder what I did wrong, you know? And why is it my lecturer could tell that person his/her grey areas and not mine? I don't get it. Is there some sort of favouritism going on? 'Cos I'm sorry, if you don't like my face, tell that to your boss, don't reflect it on my grade.
Here I thought I was having a good day.
Today, work was very relaxing, I made some mistakes here and there, but I'm getting used to the cashier/admin job. Overall, I still love it more than what happened after work by like, 1000 times. Not that I even like what just happened one bit.
Another reason why I'm so affected is because my GPA is already going down and with that C+ and B - mind you, this module holds a pretty high credit, I think 8.. the highest is 12 - it's gonna go down even more. And if it drops below 3.7, there goes my chances - at all - to enter or even try for any local uni, or any uni in the entire world because damn it, it's so damn expensive out there. Why is this making me even more angry? Because DAMN IT, I have no scholarship because DAMN IT, none of them replied to me. They can reply to my friends who scored around the same GPA as I did, or slightly lower, and not me. I don't get it.
Maybe God doesn't want me to do music anymore. Maybe I should just stay being a housewife or just go do some random job, since I'm so glad and satisfied with that now. I could very well not do with music. Even if I do, I'm just gonna be some indie person writing my own songs, putting it on youtube where probably people might or might not rip it off, will probably put me down or compliment me, criticize; constructive or not, and I won't care. It doesn't matter anyway, I'm also not making any income out of it.
okay, end of being civilized because I can't take it anymore.
fuck.
The End of my rant.
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