GAHHGAHHGAHH :\ 
Tomorrow's the big day I guess ..
GUZHENG EXAM .. Yupp. Well, just wanna say thanks to those who've been supporting me and all, thanks for the support even though it's built up to be more of a pressure -_-
WELL, I'M REALLY THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING!!! (:
Today I went for service . I saw Daniel opperating the P.A. system . Well, he WAS in the PA room . Something or someone told me to attend that service . That little person in me told me that it was important to attend today's service . I didn't quite feel that way though . 'Cos when I went there, almost half of the entire adult cohort didn't COME . Like, blank . Seriously . Then I was asking myself - or God rather, -why am I here anyway? I don't see any "progress" or any hints or whatsoever . I come for what, you know? I should be practicing . Even though I so very much knew that I wouldn't since I was still quite tensed up about the whole guzheng-exam-tml thing .
Then when Pastor William came up to speak . And I was like.. whoa ...... I quite agreed with him . He was actually talking about having a vision . Vision in a family and all.. I was thinking about ME, actually having a vision MYSELF . I know I've never done that before, maybe I SHOULD try it ..... Then, that it was when it happened . I saw a sentence of an example he was trying to explain something, I'm not quite sure of what - my mind went totally blank when I saw it ..
It said something like The beginning and end doesn't matter, it is what that happens in between that changes you .. Or something like that . I was thinking, maybe if this was the reason the little forced me to come for, then maybe it wasn't so bad . I somehow related it to what my current guzheng teacher said . And I ended of saying, "So... It was all laid out for me to follow ... God's plan for my life .."
Well you see, in the beginning of this year, - no rather, for the past almsot 2 years - it was this china lady that taught me . I was having a great time with this teach. She was really really nice, despite the fact that she made me play the song over and over again during lesson time . I was preparing for the guzheng exam which is tomorrow, and supposedly playing 'si duan jin' and 'chun dao xiang jiang' . Then, the moment of a horrifying moment happened . My teach had to go back to china, I think it was some exchange program thing .
Then I had to switch teachers . I was very upset with the whole switching this because, well, it's TWO MONTHS BEFORE MY EXAM!!! And so, the beginning of the first 2 lessons I guess, I was very upset and kept thinking that this current teach is my previous teach . And I even started to think about my previous teach - ew! --" .
Afterwards, THUM came to me and talked to me and asked me how I am with this new teach and I said I don't know at first, but then I began to tell him how I truly felt . He understood as he knew I was the sensitive type .. I was most angry about the fact that she told me to switch songs . Some of my friends may know what I'm talking about . Well, I had to play 'mo li fen fang' instead of 'chun dao xiang jiang' . I was really fustrated .
The first lesson was all about she making me play that song again and she sounding really unreasonable . And i don't know why, but after my first lesson, I saw my mom talking to uncle sam while waiting for my lesson to be over . After realising that I was standing there after 2 seconds, she walked with me to the car and told me that this new teach dun like late studs . WELL! TOO BAD!! I'm so classified there!!!!!
THUM told me that if I were to want ot continue playing 'chun dao xiang jiang' then I'd have to switch teachs . And I kinda didn't want that - I have no idea why . Then he told me to go back and think about it, about which song I wanted to play for guzheng exam . I had to call him on that day, at night . And so I did, I prayed . And I told him I wanted to play 'mo li fen fang' despite the fact of how much I somewhat hated this new teach and I was so upset I was willing to be the first in line to despise her so MUCH . Seems like it soon faded away after a few lessons of much talking than playing rather .
I realised we bonded quite a lot during lessons . I've learnt many new things or just things that I've known long ago, but forgotten then reminded . I later realised that she was a christian!!! I was somewhat happy when I found out about that info there .
I then prayed and prayed . My prayers started to sound really happy and grateful that she was my new teach . After about 10 lessons, about a week and 4 days ago, roughly (last lesson before guzheng exam), she told me something and somewhat similar to the sentence of the example Pastor William showed on the PP slide . She said (something like this), "You know, after the exam, you shouldn't worry too much lah, hor, anyway, if it is what you wanted, then good lah .. But if it is not what you wanted, maybe God doesn't want you to work further on in this section lah, and maybe wants to provide a better future for you .. you get what I'm trying to say? Like, God will have a plan for you, if not this, then a better one.. You never know what it is lah .."
I get what she's trying to say . Like, whatever happens, then let it happen, no point making a big fuss over a bad result . If good, not point rejoicing and rejoicing and just keep doing that till the end of my life right? I mean, like, boast about my result and everything . Like what the example said, beginning and end doesn't matter, what matters is what happens in the middle that changes you . I was thinking that throughout this whole trial .. or whatever, before my guzheng exam, how did I feel about it, how did I change? And more, I wanted to know how I would feel after the guzheng exam . Do I ask God to be more humble and well, I don't know, just keep moving on and don't brag - kind of thing? Results don't matter . It's the part when I perform for the examiner, how did I feel, how did I express the music, what did I learn from it all .
All in all, I just want to say that I'm really really thankful for everything . After a practised a bit when I got home, even without nails and after listening to some people on the internet who played the two pieces that I'm gonna be playing for tomorrow, well, I feel much more calmer and happier . I felt less pressurized . I guess I was too tensed and stressed up after all ..
God will make a way when there seems to be no way .. ("God will make a way") We sang this song during service today . I'm just feeling so emotional and ... well, touched by how God showed his love through this whole "trip". Firstly having THUM as an understanding teach, becoming one, you know .. Then a change of guzheng teachs, to a christian teach that can comfort me and entertain me and teach me so that I can learn and have fun at the same time . She really is a great teach . Then now this? Forcing me to come service . Forcing me to listen to sermon even though I've never listened to sermon for the past maybe more than 10 months? I was really surprised I could wake up . But then again, he probably knew I may sleep during sermon and really wanted me to listen, and so I slept till 1.40pm??
Crazy as it may seem to be, but I really really believe that God has a great future for me . And words cannot seem to express my gratitude towards him .
Thank you Lord, for everything you did for me (:
CHECKMATE! drAmAQUEEN .
Tomorrow's the big day I guess ..
GUZHENG EXAM .. Yupp. Well, just wanna say thanks to those who've been supporting me and all, thanks for the support even though it's built up to be more of a pressure -_-
WELL, I'M REALLY THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING!!! (:
Today I went for service . I saw Daniel opperating the P.A. system . Well, he WAS in the PA room . Something or someone told me to attend that service . That little person in me told me that it was important to attend today's service . I didn't quite feel that way though . 'Cos when I went there, almost half of the entire adult cohort didn't COME . Like, blank . Seriously . Then I was asking myself - or God rather, -why am I here anyway? I don't see any "progress" or any hints or whatsoever . I come for what, you know? I should be practicing . Even though I so very much knew that I wouldn't since I was still quite tensed up about the whole guzheng-exam-tml thing .
Then when Pastor William came up to speak . And I was like.. whoa ...... I quite agreed with him . He was actually talking about having a vision . Vision in a family and all.. I was thinking about ME, actually having a vision MYSELF . I know I've never done that before, maybe I SHOULD try it ..... Then, that it was when it happened . I saw a sentence of an example he was trying to explain something, I'm not quite sure of what - my mind went totally blank when I saw it ..
It said something like The beginning and end doesn't matter, it is what that happens in between that changes you .. Or something like that . I was thinking, maybe if this was the reason the little forced me to come for, then maybe it wasn't so bad . I somehow related it to what my current guzheng teacher said . And I ended of saying, "So... It was all laid out for me to follow ... God's plan for my life .."
Well you see, in the beginning of this year, - no rather, for the past almsot 2 years - it was this china lady that taught me . I was having a great time with this teach. She was really really nice, despite the fact that she made me play the song over and over again during lesson time . I was preparing for the guzheng exam which is tomorrow, and supposedly playing 'si duan jin' and 'chun dao xiang jiang' . Then, the moment of a horrifying moment happened . My teach had to go back to china, I think it was some exchange program thing .
Then I had to switch teachers . I was very upset with the whole switching this because, well, it's TWO MONTHS BEFORE MY EXAM!!! And so, the beginning of the first 2 lessons I guess, I was very upset and kept thinking that this current teach is my previous teach . And I even started to think about my previous teach - ew! --" .
Afterwards, THUM came to me and talked to me and asked me how I am with this new teach and I said I don't know at first, but then I began to tell him how I truly felt . He understood as he knew I was the sensitive type .. I was most angry about the fact that she told me to switch songs . Some of my friends may know what I'm talking about . Well, I had to play 'mo li fen fang' instead of 'chun dao xiang jiang' . I was really fustrated .
The first lesson was all about she making me play that song again and she sounding really unreasonable . And i don't know why, but after my first lesson, I saw my mom talking to uncle sam while waiting for my lesson to be over . After realising that I was standing there after 2 seconds, she walked with me to the car and told me that this new teach dun like late studs . WELL! TOO BAD!! I'm so classified there!!!!!
THUM told me that if I were to want ot continue playing 'chun dao xiang jiang' then I'd have to switch teachs . And I kinda didn't want that - I have no idea why . Then he told me to go back and think about it, about which song I wanted to play for guzheng exam . I had to call him on that day, at night . And so I did, I prayed . And I told him I wanted to play 'mo li fen fang' despite the fact of how much I somewhat hated this new teach and I was so upset I was willing to be the first in line to despise her so MUCH . Seems like it soon faded away after a few lessons of much talking than playing rather .
I realised we bonded quite a lot during lessons . I've learnt many new things or just things that I've known long ago, but forgotten then reminded . I later realised that she was a christian!!! I was somewhat happy when I found out about that info there .
I then prayed and prayed . My prayers started to sound really happy and grateful that she was my new teach . After about 10 lessons, about a week and 4 days ago, roughly (last lesson before guzheng exam), she told me something and somewhat similar to the sentence of the example Pastor William showed on the PP slide . She said (something like this), "You know, after the exam, you shouldn't worry too much lah, hor, anyway, if it is what you wanted, then good lah .. But if it is not what you wanted, maybe God doesn't want you to work further on in this section lah, and maybe wants to provide a better future for you .. you get what I'm trying to say? Like, God will have a plan for you, if not this, then a better one.. You never know what it is lah .."
I get what she's trying to say . Like, whatever happens, then let it happen, no point making a big fuss over a bad result . If good, not point rejoicing and rejoicing and just keep doing that till the end of my life right? I mean, like, boast about my result and everything . Like what the example said, beginning and end doesn't matter, what matters is what happens in the middle that changes you . I was thinking that throughout this whole trial .. or whatever, before my guzheng exam, how did I feel about it, how did I change? And more, I wanted to know how I would feel after the guzheng exam . Do I ask God to be more humble and well, I don't know, just keep moving on and don't brag - kind of thing? Results don't matter . It's the part when I perform for the examiner, how did I feel, how did I express the music, what did I learn from it all .
All in all, I just want to say that I'm really really thankful for everything . After a practised a bit when I got home, even without nails and after listening to some people on the internet who played the two pieces that I'm gonna be playing for tomorrow, well, I feel much more calmer and happier . I felt less pressurized . I guess I was too tensed and stressed up after all ..
God will make a way when there seems to be no way .. ("God will make a way") We sang this song during service today . I'm just feeling so emotional and ... well, touched by how God showed his love through this whole "trip". Firstly having THUM as an understanding teach, becoming one, you know .. Then a change of guzheng teachs, to a christian teach that can comfort me and entertain me and teach me so that I can learn and have fun at the same time . She really is a great teach . Then now this? Forcing me to come service . Forcing me to listen to sermon even though I've never listened to sermon for the past maybe more than 10 months? I was really surprised I could wake up . But then again, he probably knew I may sleep during sermon and really wanted me to listen, and so I slept till 1.40pm??
Crazy as it may seem to be, but I really really believe that God has a great future for me . And words cannot seem to express my gratitude towards him .
Thank you Lord, for everything you did for me (:
CHECKMATE! drAmAQUEEN .
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