Colours
Colours
Haha.
You know, a couple of years back when I started out insisting I loved blue, but I really loved pink, I somehow got out of the battle between blue and pink and chose green. And so, green was like my haven. Then I grew up. And I realised blue was cool. I loved blue. I really really loved blue. And turquoise!! YES TURQOISE. And next thing I knew? I had purple everywhere! then red. and somehow, if you hadn't notice, I loved almost all the colours of the rainbow, in sequence too. lol. pink next? I would probably think so. Years back to think I love purple was aabsurd. much less red. Now? I have the same thinking for ORANGE. oh man. I don't like orange, really. yellow is WAY WORSE.
But we'll see in years to come.
Meh.
I'm actually typing this while I'm having my SYNC lesson now. Apparently, I didn't quite have a pleasant morning today. Everything was pushing buttons.. wait. not this morning.. it was actually since last night. *flips table* OTL sigh. well, my purpose of typing this post isn't to vent my anger, but to share about it I guess. I promise it won't be a rant post ._.
And so I ventured on this journey to well, take things one at a time, slowly. However, as the saying goes, "Old Habits DIE HARD", .. yeah. I feel so easily influenced now. How do I know? Well, when I "rush", I'd be more angst and short-tempered, I'll talk a lot. and I mean, a lot. And sometimes because I'm uttering gibberish and venting everything out, I might say stuff that might hurt someone/some people around me. And I'd feel so screwed, really. Ah yes. and I'll expect a lot, 'cos when I rush, I expect things to be done there and then. I can't stand seeing someone NOT doing anything, I mean, in my way, I mean supposed to help with the flow or something but NOT doing anything. If you're doing something, maybe I'll still be angst, but not so much, I'll be thankful you're actually DOING something. If you're not, be prepared to get hit by a flying chair.
I guess to tackle every problem, we have to tackle with the root of the problem, aye? Problem is, this isn't quite a problem. maybe. or looking at this other perspective, it's a consequence. ALL a consequence of me procrastinating a lot of things in the beginning. And it's all taking a toll on me now. Rushing to this and that. I'm literally more busy than before, and I'm still battling this stupid procrastination inside.....
Haish. you're not wrong if you say it is a problem, really, I just wanted to get my facts right that this is not a problem that mounted up out of nowhere.
... yeah. But.. I guess I'm a little different as compared to last time. or a few weeks ago at least. Ever since I started doing QT more often and really really getting into it, I feel different. And I really want to say it's so true sometimes I feel I am starving but because I don't know what or why I'm starving. But now I do know. I was so hungry, my spirit was deprived of nutrition.
And so I'm starting to deal with my anger in that way. Realising it's not that I need to get things done chopchop - some things are an exception, like if your deadline is in an hour's time, you haven't started, and you want to talk to God about hoping to extend the deadline or venting about something for an hour, okay, may or may not happen. but really.), but it's more of I need to spend time with God, on a regular basis. It can be as often as every 5 seconds, I don't know, at least something regular, minimum once a day. Because the moment I don't, I get so easily swept away by the influences of this world. Even when it doesn't look like it, it's slowly eating me. really.
Okay, I think I've just been given some assignment to do. Typing this post made me calm down a little. okay. this blog-therapy thingy works. okayokayokay. MOTIF TIME.
Haha.
You know, a couple of years back when I started out insisting I loved blue, but I really loved pink, I somehow got out of the battle between blue and pink and chose green. And so, green was like my haven. Then I grew up. And I realised blue was cool. I loved blue. I really really loved blue. And turquoise!! YES TURQOISE. And next thing I knew? I had purple everywhere! then red. and somehow, if you hadn't notice, I loved almost all the colours of the rainbow, in sequence too. lol. pink next? I would probably think so. Years back to think I love purple was aabsurd. much less red. Now? I have the same thinking for ORANGE. oh man. I don't like orange, really. yellow is WAY WORSE.
But we'll see in years to come.
Meh.
~~~
I'm actually typing this while I'm having my SYNC lesson now. Apparently, I didn't quite have a pleasant morning today. Everything was pushing buttons.. wait. not this morning.. it was actually since last night. *flips table* OTL sigh. well, my purpose of typing this post isn't to vent my anger, but to share about it I guess. I promise it won't be a rant post ._.
And so I ventured on this journey to well, take things one at a time, slowly. However, as the saying goes, "Old Habits DIE HARD", .. yeah. I feel so easily influenced now. How do I know? Well, when I "rush", I'd be more angst and short-tempered, I'll talk a lot. and I mean, a lot. And sometimes because I'm uttering gibberish and venting everything out, I might say stuff that might hurt someone/some people around me. And I'd feel so screwed, really. Ah yes. and I'll expect a lot, 'cos when I rush, I expect things to be done there and then. I can't stand seeing someone NOT doing anything, I mean, in my way, I mean supposed to help with the flow or something but NOT doing anything. If you're doing something, maybe I'll still be angst, but not so much, I'll be thankful you're actually DOING something. If you're not, be prepared to get hit by a flying chair.
I guess to tackle every problem, we have to tackle with the root of the problem, aye? Problem is, this isn't quite a problem. maybe. or looking at this other perspective, it's a consequence. ALL a consequence of me procrastinating a lot of things in the beginning. And it's all taking a toll on me now. Rushing to this and that. I'm literally more busy than before, and I'm still battling this stupid procrastination inside.....
Haish. you're not wrong if you say it is a problem, really, I just wanted to get my facts right that this is not a problem that mounted up out of nowhere.
... yeah. But.. I guess I'm a little different as compared to last time. or a few weeks ago at least. Ever since I started doing QT more often and really really getting into it, I feel different. And I really want to say it's so true sometimes I feel I am starving but because I don't know what or why I'm starving. But now I do know. I was so hungry, my spirit was deprived of nutrition.
And so I'm starting to deal with my anger in that way. Realising it's not that I need to get things done chopchop - some things are an exception, like if your deadline is in an hour's time, you haven't started, and you want to talk to God about hoping to extend the deadline or venting about something for an hour, okay, may or may not happen. but really.), but it's more of I need to spend time with God, on a regular basis. It can be as often as every 5 seconds, I don't know, at least something regular, minimum once a day. Because the moment I don't, I get so easily swept away by the influences of this world. Even when it doesn't look like it, it's slowly eating me. really.
Okay, I think I've just been given some assignment to do. Typing this post made me calm down a little. okay. this blog-therapy thingy works. okayokayokay. MOTIF TIME.
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