Tired
Forward
The heavy weight beating down my chest
A strongest wave at its best
Whether it's real or just a test
I musn't stop, NEVER during a rest
Foggy clouds warming the air
Ground heating up, like it just don't care
Devoured by the race carried by the wind,
Fall down, get up, then get movin'
No time to waste
We must make haste
To be daring to face
The barriers in the race
Remember who you were
When the best thing, to you, occur
That you may humble yourself
And progress even further.
Tired.
Have not been having enough rest for the past few days and my body's beginning to protest and plead me for more rest. I've been feeling so drained... Perhaps not just physically, perhaps even mentally and emotionally as well. Being challenged by the roughest and most sensitive areas of my life in this not exactly very motivated season, it's really hard. Really, really hard. I must say, I am at a loss for words. Thinking about how I'm growing up as well. I'm 18 this year. Not nearly yet, but still. Having to grow up means to take on more responsibilities..
I remember when I was younger, as I grew each year, I told myself, I wanna be a kid, I wanna be a kid, I wanna remain a kid.. How I even thought of that? It's because some see me as the mature kind. Although I do like being around mature people, having talks about life and all, there's always this kid in me wanting to just burst forth and be a kid. A kid, one with less responsibilities. Nothing to worry for. And every day's a joy.. Nothing stops me from singing my heart out.
Or at least, that's what I felt the past few years.
Maybe poly changed me.
I would say that because it really did. Other than me being more open and brave to speak in public.. It feels like that more I open, the more judgement I'll get. It stops me from being a kid. You know, if you guys knew me better, I was a noisy child in the past. I laughed. I laughed a lot. Until I had many things in my hands and it weighed me down. So, so very tired I often feel but have no choice, but to press on.
Persevering has changed me as a whole as well. Both good and bad. The good? I can persevere through this standard of difficulty (or something). The bad? When I'm too tired, I let go. When I mean too tired, I mean, like, really really really tired. When things just hit your most sensitive part in you, you just want to give up. Feeling like a loser. Feeling like complete crap. Feeling like I've been placed in the wrong place. Am I?
Sigh. All these thoughts run through my mind whilst I'm
The heavy weight beating down my chest
A strongest wave at its best
Whether it's real or just a test
I musn't stop, NEVER during a rest
Foggy clouds warming the air
Ground heating up, like it just don't care
Devoured by the race carried by the wind,
Fall down, get up, then get movin'
No time to waste
We must make haste
To be daring to face
The barriers in the race
Remember who you were
When the best thing, to you, occur
That you may humble yourself
And progress even further.
CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .
~~~
Tired.
Have not been having enough rest for the past few days and my body's beginning to protest and plead me for more rest. I've been feeling so drained... Perhaps not just physically, perhaps even mentally and emotionally as well. Being challenged by the roughest and most sensitive areas of my life in this not exactly very motivated season, it's really hard. Really, really hard. I must say, I am at a loss for words. Thinking about how I'm growing up as well. I'm 18 this year. Not nearly yet, but still. Having to grow up means to take on more responsibilities..
I remember when I was younger, as I grew each year, I told myself, I wanna be a kid, I wanna be a kid, I wanna remain a kid.. How I even thought of that? It's because some see me as the mature kind. Although I do like being around mature people, having talks about life and all, there's always this kid in me wanting to just burst forth and be a kid. A kid, one with less responsibilities. Nothing to worry for. And every day's a joy.. Nothing stops me from singing my heart out.
Or at least, that's what I felt the past few years.
Maybe poly changed me.
I would say that because it really did. Other than me being more open and brave to speak in public.. It feels like that more I open, the more judgement I'll get. It stops me from being a kid. You know, if you guys knew me better, I was a noisy child in the past. I laughed. I laughed a lot. Until I had many things in my hands and it weighed me down. So, so very tired I often feel but have no choice, but to press on.
Persevering has changed me as a whole as well. Both good and bad. The good? I can persevere through this standard of difficulty (or something). The bad? When I'm too tired, I let go. When I mean too tired, I mean, like, really really really tired. When things just hit your most sensitive part in you, you just want to give up. Feeling like a loser. Feeling like complete crap. Feeling like I've been placed in the wrong place. Am I?
Sigh. All these thoughts run through my mind whilst I'm
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