Reality Swap?
Reality Swap?
I know it's ridiculous and some may even say I watch too many movies as such to even think it'd happen to me, but.. ah well, I guess when you're negative, such thoughts which could've been prevented, might defeat the logic in our brains sometimes.
So here's what I wrote on my tumblr this morning. ah yes, before that, I woke up in the middle of the night - 6am, ok, not exactly night anymore but.. ah well, you get what I mean - and thought of this and when I woke up, I posted it on my tumblr. Upon reading it through once I was done, I myself, thought I was crazy. Maybe because I'm feeling much more sane now. okay, here's it:
Weird huh. So I'm gonna ask, has anyone else felt this way before? okay, I know its stupid and you don't have to answer, but it's nice to know I'm not in bad stuff alone and all anyways.
Sigh. I guess my datelines of my assignments are nearing and thus, some negativity spreading throughout my brain or something.
Yesterday the year-end party was held in church. I was pretty glad to have been there, I mean, despite looking like a "DOLL" - quoted from marcus ang kai. I liked people. I mean, I enjoyed their company and I can never imagine myself - a day - without people around me. If that day were to come true, in 5 minutes, you'd see me hiding in a corner, sucking my thumb and dying a minute later. Only, of course, you wouldn't, exactly, know.
I was glad to see YE bonding with each other and with the new members of YE! Jarrel, Andrew, Nathaniel (I don't know how to spell, is this right?), Joanne, Natalie, and... ._. oops I forgot. sorry ._." Well, remember or not, I found it nice to see people talking to one another, enjoying each other's company. And as we had this thanksgiving session, I felt an urge to go up there and say something, but I probably would freak out in the end and go up there, my mind all blank... So I decided to type it out here.
I'm really thankful that the Lord has led Andrew to COGS YE, I felt that after he came, and was pretty much influential in YE, he moved us. In a way almost as if God spoke right through him, to each and everyone of our hearts, waking us up to make us MOVE. And I'm glad that he was our speaker for the camp, because whatever he'd said, everyone managed to act it out, whatever he'd said, made everyone closer to one another, whatever he'd said, made an impact in everyone's lives. Yes, the Lord was working through Him, and I could sense the Holy Spirit moving in us - each and everyone of us.(:
Well, that being said, I've another thing to give thanks for. It's not with regards to YE, but my personal walk with God. So... if you guys ain't interested, you can press the "x" button on the top left (for macbk users) / right (for windows users) because the rest of this post'd be about this... which.. I think, wouldn't be much.
Recently, I've been feeling... spiritually low. No, this won't be another, and through this and that, I was back on track, etcetcetc. I'm still in the midst of this whole, misty path thing. Though I've been spiritually low, I hide it pretty well, of course, at times, showing it. but not on purpose...
Lately, I've been tested. I felt it. I have been tested. But I also knew these things were to bring me closer to God, as all other trials have helped me to end up being so. This time, I was well, giving godly counsel to my friends. If I may call it that. With everything they approach me with, their problems - which of late, suddenly so many of my friends started to approach me with their problems, it's the first, ever, I've encountered this many, not that I don't like it or anything, cos I'm just really shocked, like, this wouldn't have happened if God didn't arrange for things to be this way right?
But somehow, the words that I said, I saw God working through me to help my friends because they felt better than before, like, after talking to me. And I thank God for this.
However, I was wondering.. Like... how could all these happen? I've been feeling spiritually low, but I'm still well, God used me to bless my friends around me.
And then it hit me. Feeling spiritually low, I felt almost numb in my faith. But God used me to bless others, to show me that despite how low my faith can be, He can still use me in these great ways.
Though I'm still in the midst of climbing up the ladder, I really hope and wish that I can. Reach the end of that ladder, I mean.
K, that's all for this post. The end.
I know it's ridiculous and some may even say I watch too many movies as such to even think it'd happen to me, but.. ah well, I guess when you're negative, such thoughts which could've been prevented, might defeat the logic in our brains sometimes.
So here's what I wrote on my tumblr this morning. ah yes, before that, I woke up in the middle of the night - 6am, ok, not exactly night anymore but.. ah well, you get what I mean - and thought of this and when I woke up, I posted it on my tumblr. Upon reading it through once I was done, I myself, thought I was crazy. Maybe because I'm feeling much more sane now. okay, here's it:
But why?
The night could’ve been my reality, the things that happened in the day, my dream, or the other way round..
I might’ve been asleep for really long and what happened didn’t happen, all was seen but pitch black, maybe I was knocked out, maybe It just turned night time, maybe the world was invaded by aliens. The world now filled with sadness, no more sun, lives and energy sucked out from people and it’s now filled with living zombies, and thus, darkness..
Because if all those things that happened really happened.. Why would I wake up in darkness feeling Alone.. and.. Real.. and.. Weak?
Weird huh. So I'm gonna ask, has anyone else felt this way before? okay, I know its stupid and you don't have to answer, but it's nice to know I'm not in bad stuff alone and all anyways.
Sigh. I guess my datelines of my assignments are nearing and thus, some negativity spreading throughout my brain or something.
Yesterday the year-end party was held in church. I was pretty glad to have been there, I mean, despite looking like a "DOLL" - quoted from marcus ang kai. I liked people. I mean, I enjoyed their company and I can never imagine myself - a day - without people around me. If that day were to come true, in 5 minutes, you'd see me hiding in a corner, sucking my thumb and dying a minute later. Only, of course, you wouldn't, exactly, know.
I was glad to see YE bonding with each other and with the new members of YE! Jarrel, Andrew, Nathaniel (I don't know how to spell, is this right?), Joanne, Natalie, and... ._. oops I forgot. sorry ._." Well, remember or not, I found it nice to see people talking to one another, enjoying each other's company. And as we had this thanksgiving session, I felt an urge to go up there and say something, but I probably would freak out in the end and go up there, my mind all blank... So I decided to type it out here.
I'm really thankful that the Lord has led Andrew to COGS YE, I felt that after he came, and was pretty much influential in YE, he moved us. In a way almost as if God spoke right through him, to each and everyone of our hearts, waking us up to make us MOVE. And I'm glad that he was our speaker for the camp, because whatever he'd said, everyone managed to act it out, whatever he'd said, made everyone closer to one another, whatever he'd said, made an impact in everyone's lives. Yes, the Lord was working through Him, and I could sense the Holy Spirit moving in us - each and everyone of us.(:
Well, that being said, I've another thing to give thanks for. It's not with regards to YE, but my personal walk with God. So... if you guys ain't interested, you can press the "x" button on the top left (for macbk users) / right (for windows users) because the rest of this post'd be about this... which.. I think, wouldn't be much.
Recently, I've been feeling... spiritually low. No, this won't be another, and through this and that, I was back on track, etcetcetc. I'm still in the midst of this whole, misty path thing. Though I've been spiritually low, I hide it pretty well, of course, at times, showing it. but not on purpose...
Lately, I've been tested. I felt it. I have been tested. But I also knew these things were to bring me closer to God, as all other trials have helped me to end up being so. This time, I was well, giving godly counsel to my friends. If I may call it that. With everything they approach me with, their problems - which of late, suddenly so many of my friends started to approach me with their problems, it's the first, ever, I've encountered this many, not that I don't like it or anything, cos I'm just really shocked, like, this wouldn't have happened if God didn't arrange for things to be this way right?
But somehow, the words that I said, I saw God working through me to help my friends because they felt better than before, like, after talking to me. And I thank God for this.
However, I was wondering.. Like... how could all these happen? I've been feeling spiritually low, but I'm still well, God used me to bless my friends around me.
And then it hit me. Feeling spiritually low, I felt almost numb in my faith. But God used me to bless others, to show me that despite how low my faith can be, He can still use me in these great ways.
Though I'm still in the midst of climbing up the ladder, I really hope and wish that I can. Reach the end of that ladder, I mean.
K, that's all for this post. The end.
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