awkwardness I guess ..
There's no explaining for it ..
and no, I actually mean I don't need any explanation from you ..
I don't know why, but this feeling stays.
Though days since then are actually short, I wouldn't say it is that but.. I've been getting this shivering feeling in me - all tinglingly and stuff like that. what's wrong with me? I must've just drilled a hole too deep in my head. 'Cos you know, lately, I've been trying to torture myself with studying.
But although it looks as though it's torture - immense torture, to me - somehow time spent with my sister lately has gotten me to forget all my got-a-strong-feeling-that-I'm-gonna-be-toast-the-next-day-or-minute thoughts. I'm gonna have my guzheng lesson with Mr. Doom tomorrow night and there's most probably recording, like 99.9999999% so & and all I'm hoping for now is that it doesn't rain or have a storm tomorrow night or something.
Unfortunately, talking to my sister still doesn't take away this tingling feeling inside of me whenever I read part of it. many parts of the 'it'. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm probably paranoid. Afterall, I took the facebook quiz and the result of the probably-to-suffer-from disease was paranoa or paranomia.. don't know how to spell it exactly. But I do know it's got something to do with me being really paranoid about things. that's all I know.
I can't stand it when I see that when I want to deal with something, and I have to deal with another doom of my life and that the fact that this DOOM is literally more major than the one I'm currently dealing with at that moment. EOYs. I'll have to put ths current issue to one side because I have to set my priorities right. But then again, I cannot neglect God neither can I do so with my parents. What I most definitely will NEVER be able to neglect after EOYs is my guzheng competition because right after it, my teacher's gonna go full speed. I won't even have time to breathe! Oh, right, the current issue? Sorry, can't deal with it yet. *chucks to one side* ..
The guzheng competition ends only on 12 december - that is, if I'm lucky enough to get into the finals. Only then can I truly rest and take my mind off everything .. if that's the response you'd thought I'd be giving, then I'm sorry to say, THAT is all fantasy. Why? Because next year, there's the 2011 SYF. right, and we're gonna participate. and we gotta prepare, yes? right. prepare. prepare. prepare. I think the most number of days that I can STOP worrying for ONCE and RELAX maximum of 6 days. why not 7? cos the 7th, the probability is that, I might have guzheng lesson. jeez, give me a break! I wanna quit this life. seriously.
You know, for the first time, after all these years, I think I'm mature enough to say that when I say this, I truly TRULY mean it. "I want to quit", and I'm not kidding, not one bit.
& you know what's the funniest part? It's about this news we've all received during ss lesson. Mr Teo was trying his best to drop some hints to us, knowing of the whole sec 3 cohort's ss results. Well, practically leaving out those A classes - duh < as so he implied they were very smart and good at this subject..... Then he told us that after he set the EOY paper, sent to the people "Up There' and lastly to Ms Lee before handing it back to him. He then warned us about how strict Ms Lee is, just far worse than him, how she NEVER drops ANY hint at ALL. Well, except for the fact that she told us (english class, she's my english teacher) that one of the situational writing was very closely-related to us and that it was not possible that we would fail if we attended it or something. Back to the point, Mr Teo was looking all flustered and almost like he could no longer take it anymore - he was just holding two manual fans at himself, supplied by anna/jia xuan and peony/vanessa.
Then it was this very bad news that struck us. It felt almost as if lightning were to struck us any moment now because I sure did feel the electric feeling run down my spine followed by a gasp which I found out, not only was I the only one feeling this way, hearing the responses of the rest of my classmates.
Ms Lee - whose expression described by Mr Teo, pictured me a familiar face I'd use to see when teachers are disappointed with our results, only, it sounded more of like a worried look - handed the paper over to Mr Teo and said, "The paper is a killer."
A killer.
A killer.
A killer.
If only I could even think or dream about fantasy.. that's all the "fun" I'd need.
and no, I actually mean I don't need any explanation from you ..
I don't know why, but this feeling stays.
Though days since then are actually short, I wouldn't say it is that but.. I've been getting this shivering feeling in me - all tinglingly and stuff like that. what's wrong with me? I must've just drilled a hole too deep in my head. 'Cos you know, lately, I've been trying to torture myself with studying.
But although it looks as though it's torture - immense torture, to me - somehow time spent with my sister lately has gotten me to forget all my got-a-strong-feeling-that-I'm-gonna-be-toast-the-next-day-or-minute thoughts. I'm gonna have my guzheng lesson with Mr. Doom tomorrow night and there's most probably recording, like 99.9999999% so & and all I'm hoping for now is that it doesn't rain or have a storm tomorrow night or something.
Unfortunately, talking to my sister still doesn't take away this tingling feeling inside of me whenever I read part of it. many parts of the 'it'. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm probably paranoid. Afterall, I took the facebook quiz and the result of the probably-to-suffer-from disease was paranoa or paranomia.. don't know how to spell it exactly. But I do know it's got something to do with me being really paranoid about things. that's all I know.
I can't stand it when I see that when I want to deal with something, and I have to deal with another doom of my life and that the fact that this DOOM is literally more major than the one I'm currently dealing with at that moment. EOYs. I'll have to put ths current issue to one side because I have to set my priorities right. But then again, I cannot neglect God neither can I do so with my parents. What I most definitely will NEVER be able to neglect after EOYs is my guzheng competition because right after it, my teacher's gonna go full speed. I won't even have time to breathe! Oh, right, the current issue? Sorry, can't deal with it yet. *chucks to one side* ..
The guzheng competition ends only on 12 december - that is, if I'm lucky enough to get into the finals. Only then can I truly rest and take my mind off everything .. if that's the response you'd thought I'd be giving, then I'm sorry to say, THAT is all fantasy. Why? Because next year, there's the 2011 SYF. right, and we're gonna participate. and we gotta prepare, yes? right. prepare. prepare. prepare. I think the most number of days that I can STOP worrying for ONCE and RELAX maximum of 6 days. why not 7? cos the 7th, the probability is that, I might have guzheng lesson. jeez, give me a break! I wanna quit this life. seriously.
You know, for the first time, after all these years, I think I'm mature enough to say that when I say this, I truly TRULY mean it. "I want to quit", and I'm not kidding, not one bit.
& you know what's the funniest part? It's about this news we've all received during ss lesson. Mr Teo was trying his best to drop some hints to us, knowing of the whole sec 3 cohort's ss results. Well, practically leaving out those A classes - duh < as so he implied they were very smart and good at this subject..... Then he told us that after he set the EOY paper, sent to the people "Up There' and lastly to Ms Lee before handing it back to him. He then warned us about how strict Ms Lee is, just far worse than him, how she NEVER drops ANY hint at ALL. Well, except for the fact that she told us (english class, she's my english teacher) that one of the situational writing was very closely-related to us and that it was not possible that we would fail if we attended it or something. Back to the point, Mr Teo was looking all flustered and almost like he could no longer take it anymore - he was just holding two manual fans at himself, supplied by anna/jia xuan and peony/vanessa.
Then it was this very bad news that struck us. It felt almost as if lightning were to struck us any moment now because I sure did feel the electric feeling run down my spine followed by a gasp which I found out, not only was I the only one feeling this way, hearing the responses of the rest of my classmates.
Ms Lee - whose expression described by Mr Teo, pictured me a familiar face I'd use to see when teachers are disappointed with our results, only, it sounded more of like a worried look - handed the paper over to Mr Teo and said, "The paper is a killer."
A killer.
A killer.
A killer.
If only I could even think or dream about fantasy.. that's all the "fun" I'd need.
Comments