Pillow
Pillow
Whoops! A little over time today, but it's alright! I'm still gonna do object writing tomorrow! Nah, I wouldn't change all that to pink even if it's italic. Even I would get a headache from reading one whole chunk of light-pink-fonted words.
I don't really have much to say, just that I'm still recovering from what happened recently. I don't really care anymore if I'm being called a crybaby. All. These. Years. I've been afraid of people looking at me that way. But no more. If I want to cry, you're damn right I'll pour everything out, not holding back at all. If you can't stand it, I'll go to a room of my own and pour it all out because I need to. I'm human okay. I'm not some emotionless robot. Although - fine - I've been acting like one.. which kind of makes me think about how much repression I put on myself..
A few things happening this week! Tomorrow I'll be staying back after school to practice with some friends for an upcoming performance this month! Woohoo! First time playing in a band and performing! I mean, attention on us, kinda thing. Tuesday for CCA, I heard they'll be going bowling.. I'm not interested to bowl, but I'll just go ahead and fellowship with them. Wednesday after school I'll be out shopping/window shopping with JJ and dinner too (Pastor Andrew's joining us for dinner~ I owe him a meal lol. My treat lah. I willingly treat k.)! It's been some time since we'd last hung out, so.. yup! Looking forward to that. Thursday I'll be heading over to Ben's, the usual... while my mom goes to Don Moen's concert.. cos.. I.. I don't know. I... haish. I dunno la. Friday I'll be supporting Jing Yee~! In her dance concert~ oh yea~ My weekends are reserved for the usual YE and sunday adult service :) There's also a HOGC debrief this coming Sunday, 1-3pm. Haha.. I'm looking forward to hear what others think about their experience there.
This week's hurdles will be to... do a stand-and-deliver on Tuesday for one of my modules and perhaps to record the vocals again for my song - on my own - for this module called "production workshop". Haish. What to do for stand and deliver? Listen to national day rally speech and talk about the "buying a flat with $1k (combined couple's income per month)" part. SO SOOOO DREADING IT!! but okay, I gotta think about it tonight at least hehe. Shall head downstairs soon after my parents are done watching Real Steel.. Need my mom to walk the dog while I get ingredients for making macaroons! :D :D I'll probably make em tonight or tmr hehe~~ Shall make blue ones! (turns out after a trip to the econs market, they didn't have blue colouring, so I shall make red ones then!) yum~~ Hopefully it'll be successful... :>
There's something different about today. I buried my face into the soft and fluffy pillow. I remembered all those years where I took it for granted, how it's been carefully supporting my neck, protecting my memories from leaking out of my brain, I never knew. I never knew of how important it was to me. It was a good tissue for those late night tears, even when I wanted to be alone, I really just wanted to spend time with it so all that pent up anger, frustration and devastation would fade away and all that would matter is here and now. I recall how it could easily absorb and wipe away that unglam drool formed overnight. The way it caresses my soft cheeks, like how a babe feels at ease when she hears her mother's heartbeat on her mother's chest. What could go wrong from merely withdrawing yourself from the world for a few moments? Everybody does that every day. They just don't know it. They too, were living in the dark, in my past. They never knew what a friend they had by their side. All people do is complain, and they never stop to rest their heavy heads on their pillows. They never stop to let their friends share their burden. Everybody thinks they're the only ones in the world. If not anyone else, I weep for the forgotten ones.
Whoops! A little over time today, but it's alright! I'm still gonna do object writing tomorrow! Nah, I wouldn't change all that to pink even if it's italic. Even I would get a headache from reading one whole chunk of light-pink-fonted words.
I don't really have much to say, just that I'm still recovering from what happened recently. I don't really care anymore if I'm being called a crybaby. All. These. Years. I've been afraid of people looking at me that way. But no more. If I want to cry, you're damn right I'll pour everything out, not holding back at all. If you can't stand it, I'll go to a room of my own and pour it all out because I need to. I'm human okay. I'm not some emotionless robot. Although - fine - I've been acting like one.. which kind of makes me think about how much repression I put on myself..
A few things happening this week! Tomorrow I'll be staying back after school to practice with some friends for an upcoming performance this month! Woohoo! First time playing in a band and performing! I mean, attention on us, kinda thing. Tuesday for CCA, I heard they'll be going bowling.. I'm not interested to bowl, but I'll just go ahead and fellowship with them. Wednesday after school I'll be out shopping/window shopping with JJ and dinner too (Pastor Andrew's joining us for dinner~ I owe him a meal lol. My treat lah. I willingly treat k.)! It's been some time since we'd last hung out, so.. yup! Looking forward to that. Thursday I'll be heading over to Ben's, the usual... while my mom goes to Don Moen's concert.. cos.. I.. I don't know. I... haish. I dunno la. Friday I'll be supporting Jing Yee~! In her dance concert~ oh yea~ My weekends are reserved for the usual YE and sunday adult service :) There's also a HOGC debrief this coming Sunday, 1-3pm. Haha.. I'm looking forward to hear what others think about their experience there.
This week's hurdles will be to... do a stand-and-deliver on Tuesday for one of my modules and perhaps to record the vocals again for my song - on my own - for this module called "production workshop". Haish. What to do for stand and deliver? Listen to national day rally speech and talk about the "buying a flat with $1k (combined couple's income per month)" part. SO SOOOO DREADING IT!! but okay, I gotta think about it tonight at least hehe. Shall head downstairs soon after my parents are done watching Real Steel.. Need my mom to walk the dog while I get ingredients for making macaroons! :D :D I'll probably make em tonight or tmr hehe~~ Shall make blue ones! (turns out after a trip to the econs market, they didn't have blue colouring, so I shall make red ones then!) yum~~ Hopefully it'll be successful... :>
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