Working On It

Working On It

I have some things to confess...

Confession #1: It's been at least a month since I last wrote a complete song.
Confession #2: I did not regret taking a break.
Confession #3: I just wrote a song.

I think that being a creative person, I just needed to find some space and time to gather ideas. Though simply put, there were many things going on in my life and many factors contributed to the lack of enthusiasm I had for music for the past month.

#1: Insecurity

I'm not the best vocalist in the entire world and I don't aspire to be one. It just kinda sucks to know that I'm just average and though I kind of try to be better, it doesn't really work because my goal is simply different. I just sing to deliver my songwriting ideas across in hopes that some talent agency out there would discover my song and decide to use it. I'm not great at singing, but it is a tool to help me.. Well, I can't help but feel inferior when I see great artistes out there who sing, compose music and write songs well. This whole feeling inferior thing has always been a challenge for me to overcome. I'm still wondering if even big artistes out there feel this way. In any case, part of my break was to sort my thoughts out and I concluded I shouldn't care. lol. Just do what I want to do. All these great people started off doing what they wanted to do. They did what they loved to do. They got to where they are now because they did just that. So just do it.

I found that the more I stopped to think, the more I procrastinated a lot of things - not just writing songs! ... Lesson learnt.

#2: Only 24 hours in a day?!

Some of you - if you have read my previous posts - would have known that I'm currently working in my church, a 6-day per week job. It's tiring enough to have my heart and mind involved in something unrelated to music - most of the time - and perform tasks that draws out extra energy to fulfill.. (Don't get me wrong, I love my job.) So for me to do that plus squeeze out ideas for songs? Whoa. Ain't nobody got time NOR the energy to do that!

I very much prefer a slow-paced lifestyle that enables me to have hours and hours on end for me to ease my soul and let whatever's on my mind to flow out onto paper. Of course, that would be.. the most ideal. So dealing with a fast-paced lifestyle, there was a huge conflict and this just sapped my energy and enthusiasm for my very beloved hobby - songwriting.

Man, I really wish I had more time to do the things I love.. But I guess I'll have to trust God in letting Him give me the time and space to do the things I love to do at the right time! I mean, look, though I'm still working, I managed to write a song! So yay! :D God is good! Hehe.

#3: Denial

Honestly, I'm still trying to get over the fact that I'm about to enter university in August. I'm doing anything and everything that I can to do ALL the things that I love because somehow I feel as though I wouldn't have the time to do all that once school starts. It feels as though the day school starts, the day my happy, carefree life ends. I do hope to be able to find a balance when the time comes though! (which I usually do, so I shouldn't be worrying, but that's really a challenge, you know?)

Sigh.. Till that day comes, I have to deal with all the anxiety which I'm trying so hard to shake off or at least use that to my advantage when it comes to certain things that I have to do - like.. exercise.

ha .. aha .. haha ..

Anyway, I'll put my song up here when I'm done with a demo or so! :D
In the meantime, do remember to check out my awesome producer friendssss:

Click here to view more of LAU's work!
Click here to view more of LJY's work!

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