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Alabaster Jar Recently, I've had quite a number of testimonies to tell. Knowing myself, I have a pretty poor memory, so I wrote them all in my notes on Facebook! So here's something else I'd like to share! :) Last year - I can't remember for what occasion, but - my aunt gave me a lavender fragrance bottle. It's the kind where you put sticks inside and it absorbs the fragrance in the bottle, and releasing the fragrance into the air. It has a beautiful & pleasant smell to it! It's a lavender after all :p I placed it on my table, next to the window. It just seemed nice there. haha! Just awhile ago, I came home after buying some groceries and bread for my family. I opened the window in my room for some fresh air. Then, suddenly, the bottle of fragrance tipped over as the wind blew the curtains and it hit the sticks in the bottle. I quickly cleaned up the mess and set it back upright. Awhile later, the same thing happened again. However, I didn't real...

Kingdom Invasion 2014 "Sickness isn't the biggest problem, because if it is, then healing is the greatest good. No, sin is the biggest problem… And salvation is the greatest good. Amen?" - Rev Yang Tuck Yoong, Hosting Pastor of Kingdom Invasion 2014 . Kingdom Invasion 2014 in Singapore ! Details Venue: Expo Hall 1 Duration: 18-21 March 2014 (Tuesday to Friday, see schedule @ http://www.kingdominvasion.sg/conference-schedule/ )

It has been long time... … since I'd last blogged. I'm so excited to end my semester! That would mean I'd been in poly for 2 years! Well, after two months of course. There's so much I want to do during the holidays; cooking, perhaps baking with my friends, visit cafés all around singapore with the girls… Man. It's good to be free for awhile. I'm too young to be strangled by society. I've got to live my two months to the fullest! Looking back, I realized I've accomplished, achieved and grown so, so much and still, there's so much more challenges I'll be facing in future. I hope I'll face it with great confidence and humility. May God be with me always T.T During these two months, I guess it's a good time for me to start being a mom again to my new cell. I haven't had time to really pay full attention to them… Now that I'm having my holidays, maybe it's a good time to start bonding with them :) :) I'm supposed to be ...

Lol. Can't stop~~ "thank you's not good enough………. don't forget us" xD

Honesty. Green. I always have this inclination to blog whenever I read somebody else's blog post or watch a vlog (video blog. lol, I had to change this like at least three times cos it kept auto-correcting to 'blog') and so now I feel like spilling everything out. Yeah, spilling it a really great word. A word that possesses great power to either inspire or tear people down. Anyway, I think that's probably more of a 'words' definition than 'spilling'… Ah well! You get what I mean. Having being the cell leader of MaHoChiu cell - yes, it's our temporary cell name while we decide on one soon - and yes, I'm co-leading with Luke, I feel so different. I can no longer be that little shadow behind someone or the little duckling straddling along with the herd. I HAVE TO LEAD . I honestly, honestly, feel that it's scary. It's strange, and I even think if my pastor were to read this, he'd have this enormous reaction to my statement and ask me...

Accomplishment & … Sick Again. On 9 January 2014, 12-12.30pm and 4-4.30pm was my greatest accomplishment by far in terms of my music career. SP OPEN HOUSE AT DMIT SCHOOL! OH YEAAHH! *SHAMELESS PUBILICITY OF DMAT: DIPLOMA IN MUSIC AND AUDIO TECHNOLOGY HERE* Yes, I would love to do that for a career. However, I know I can't because I have a weak throat and yes, today, this morning, I woke up with an extremely bad sore throat and headache, neckache, other random areas of my body just randomly aching… Ben said that it's a sign I'm sick. Yeaaah people. I had the time of my life and got sick after that. Almost sounds like the version of people clubbing and drinking and the next day, hungover . Anyway, I did enjoy my time singing. I didn't care if people said the mix wasn't good. They said something which made my face lit up! I improved! I improved so much I was so so happy. So happy that God gave me so many opportunities like especially this module, PROW, to unle...

Merry Christmas, everyone! Tis' the season to be jolly, falalalala-lala-la-larrhhhh~~ I learnt how to play Saboteur today! Learnt it with my cousins :D :D Found out that we were all so good at being saboteurs, out of all the 5 games - I think - we played, the sabers won. We all got to play the saboteur role.. I went christmas gift shopping yesterday with my mom and it was super tiring but fun! xD We were practically rushing from place to place - without a car. Yes, the mrt. packed like sardines in a cabin. Nevermind about that, although I did spend quite a lot, I was glad to have bought a number of things! Have yet to buy presents for some cos I didn't bring enough cash that day.. =.=" It's okay! I'm left with a few people's gifts to settle… :p mind me, people! I'll be going for another crazy shopping day soon… Hopefully… haish. overbudget man. totally overbudget. But it's okay. I didn't expect I'd be buying for so many peopl...

DYB Camp I will blog about DYB camp soon, I promise . Sigh. For now, I need to pour out my sorrows. #rant DYB camp was an extremely refreshing experience. Breaking off from camp was really saddening, but it's sooner or later anyway. It's always the case where right after I've been so high up there, I drop down low. Seriously. I hate satan. God, just send me to heaven right now. The most is people will just weep for me for awhile and get over it. I hate going through this all. the. time. Yet.. I know going through this will bring me closer to God, even though it seems kind of indirect.. Argh. I just know I'm extremely saddened by something and I don't understand why these things must always happen. When you grow spiritually, you become sort of a more tempting bait to the devil to eat your flesh off till you're left with nothing but skeletons. shame . guilt . Go to hell, Satan. Stay there. I imagine God just magically using this magic wand wavin...

Say Something Feeling melancholic now. Just received good news in the morning. Then again, I've got to wait till about the beginning of next year before I get some confirmation of that good news. :) Had a great time today. Showed ben the song ^^^ above. It's a really meaningful, beautiful song telling of the importance of good communication in any relationship. Yes , that includes friends too. I'm feeling rather sian.. I don't think it's just because of what happened earlier, but I think it's also because of what would happen in the coming days.. So many things going on.. most of it.. I'm not really looking forward to. And that's sapping away a lot of my energy… Sad people sap energy from happy people. Yeah, that probably sums up at least 1/4 of my sadness now. Haish. OKay, that's enough for this post. Too much dwelling won't help me one bit. I know it all, yet my heart stalls at the door, frozen, can't seem to speak. It doe...

Social Politics suck . Then again, it's something everybody has to deal with all because of.. no, let me rephrase that, ALL THANKS TO MR. SIN . My painkillers have and always been distractions. They numb me from the pain as if it was never there, then comes back like an arrow released from a bow, straight through my heart once its effects wear out. Lately, I've been feeling so much negativity I can't help it, but.. 1) Talk to God 2) Cry. just. cry. 3) Write songs I know it isn't good to dwell in it? But really? To have so many negative events back-to-back is something I've never quite dealt with before, or at least - if my memory failed me - for a long long time. It's just.. depressing.. yet.. I don't wish to drag people who aren't even involved into my depressed-aura circle. Or however I should phrase that. Depressing. Depressing. Depressing. Smiles that hide everything. Fake gestures and a mask. on. All black geese, but appears to...

Seriously? Yes. Seriously. WARNING: Unhappy post. Don't even try to joke. What is wrong with the whole BitStrips not looking you thing? I mean, yeah, so a girl doesn't like a certain feature of hers, but she isn't restricted to only the features that resembles extremely close to her. I have plenty of options given, and no one ever said that BitStrips MUST be a comic ME. BitStrips MUST look like me. After all, if it really did, they should provide more options, because even I honestly feel that doesn't look like me at all, but yes, some parts really does resemble. And I look at myself in the mirror way many more times than all you people do. For the past 18 years and 1 month.  I love wavy hair. What's wrong with that? Doesn't look like me? Fine. I'll go perm it.  What's wrong with systems these days, huh? So Anon comes to attack and threaten the government, now delivery company also affected ah, huh? Cannot receive my emailSSS ah? A...

Pillow There's something different about today. I buried my face into the soft and fluffy pillow. I remembered all those years where I took it for granted, how it's been carefully supporting my neck, protecting my memories from leaking out of my brain, I never knew. I never knew of how important it was to me. It was a good tissue for those late night tears, even when I wanted to be alone, I really just wanted to spend time with it so all that pent up anger, frustration and devastation would fade away and all that would matter is here and now. I recall how it could easily absorb and wipe away that unglam drool formed overnight. The way it caresses my soft cheeks, like how a babe feels at ease when she hears her mother's heartbeat on her mother's chest. What could go wrong from merely withdrawing yourself from the world for a few moments? Everybody does that every day. They just don't know it. They too, were living in the dark, in my past. They never knew what a fr...

Strange feeling I too, share the same sentiments as what Luke had shared in his testimony on FB, YE group page. I feel that there's a season of change coming, and I know that with all that's happening, it's quite obvious that it will happen, but when? I do not know. I do not boast about this because I really an unsure, but I guess I'm a bit prophetic. I usually call it "psychic" but, yeah, in this context, it's "prophetic". Just that, it's a bit. not a lot, but a bit, and I can sense things at times. Of course, when God allows it. Therefore, when I say that I feel the season of change coming too, furthermore, with what luke, pastor andrew, ben, and some others feel the same way, I guess... YES, PEOPLE, IT'S COMING. These past few days - in fact, this week - has been a struggle for me as I tried to find out what's wrong with my spiritual life that's causing some tsunami effect on the aspects of life. It's been hard and I...

Post for today Today? I'll tell you the post for today. love . &. hatred . Towards the world . The End.

More thoughts I just thought of sharing something, and so I shall. Honestly, I'm not always close to God - not that God has pushed me away from Him, rather, I'm the one wandering elsewhere. Living the life of a hypocrite meant looking forward to what I ought to do, yet taking a step backward, away from who I am .. well, created to be, away from God . How on earth did I come to that conclusion? I'll tell you what happened today. Waking up pretty early in the morning - early to me - My friends who stayed over at my place decided to have lunch, so we went downstairs, bought some lunch, headed home to eat and watch a movie, started baking as planned. Well.. Things weren't going so well after that. The first batch was pretty much a failure, although it did help us to take note of certain mistakes to not make in the second batch of cheesecakes were making. I wasn't really upset about that, but I guess everything's pretty much accumulative, no matter how minor ...

Back to Work! Have been resting and recovering from the recent cold and I'm glad to say I'm feeling wayyy better now! :) Today wasn't as busy as I thought, so I'm pretty glad I didn't have to tire myself out "early in the morning" . Well, technically, during the hols, 12nn is like, 9am in the morning. oh boy. Yep, now you know my usual hols sleep cycle! haha! Well, I think my pay's coming in soon, so I gotta go check! I'm so excited cos I really can't wait to go get those pair of headphones I'm dying to search for and get my hands on (btw, I haven't even thought of what I'd want to get, but I'll be testing out some pair of headphones after doing some research and writing down some models on a piece of paper before I go hunt for that pair of headphones!) Today I woke up feeling really refreshed and rejuvenated! Was pretty on for work and all. ;D Now it's time to do more work! I mean, homework. Gotta work on that song....

Please. I'm not even asking you to climb 12 floors up and down, but please, please respect my decision of working at an FnB outlet. So many people are telling me it's not worth it, fnb make me do this, do that, my hands get dirty, I learn to do more things but my pay the same, and it's not high either. Hey, did you not think that I would've already considered these things before taking on the job? I love it. okay? I LOVE THE JOB. I love the aunties working there, they brighten up my day with their cheerful laughter and kind-heartedness. I love the managers there, I don't even care if I'm underpaid, these people are nice - true or not - they are nice, down-to-earth, give me free meals, .. they are just so.. like friends. I don't even see them as someone I have to be formal with at all. I can be myself. And I love that. I love the fact that the chefs there are filled with a different races, especially the ones from china, whatever they talk, I don...

Warning: emo I've always had this self-consciousness built in me from the day I was born. I don't know why. I never liked how I am, ever since I was young, or maybe when I was around the age of K1 or so. And that self-consciousness certainly exploded from the time my two front teeth dropped and out grew the adult/molar teeth. My life was never the same. This seems so much like an essay, but really, I mean every single word here. I have a confession to make, I never liked brushing my teeth when I was young. It was so bad until my two front teeth started decaying. My mom kept reminding me to brush otherwise my teeth condition would worsen when I grew older and I'd look like my dad. Um. Well, it wasn't enough to scare me to get into this habit of brushing my teeth. And so, I'm suffering the consequences of my stupid, foolish & stubborn decisions I made when I was younger, now. Along the way, as my teeth's enamel began to start decaying, being weak, I h...

Warning: rage I'm trying to hold it in. I really am. You have no idea what wonderful and colorful words are running through my mind right now. I can totally list them all out here but I shan't, because I know this is a pretty influential platform. Living in a civilized world, I'll do my best to be civilized in this post. Yeah, um. SO, I just got back my results for a module. There were two assignments for that module. Assignment 1 is individual work whereas Assignment 2 is group work. For assignment 1, it's composing your very own song, record and mix it. I got a C+ for that. Not enough. For assignment 2, it's just recording different instruments with different kinds of miking techniques. I got a B for that. And what did I get the previous year for this module? A. Now, I know that my headphones was a big factor that caused my grade - needed a good pair, but I bought one that had a boost in mids and bass, hence, it affected my mix pretty bad - but...

God's Grace Recently, I've not been feeling well.. Again . I am thankful, though. Very thankful for the fact that God knows my condition and the exact state that I'm in, and though I went for work yesterday and today despite not feeling well, I didn't have to carry heavy plates, I didn't have to serve much cos I was taught how to use the cashier! And today I was taught some POA stuff... and admin stuff.... Totally, like, preparing myself for the upcoming semester... I heard for my "business in music studies" module, I'll be learning POA.. So.. meh. But this made me see how good God is! Despite me feeling in a not-so-good state, I could still work, in other areas that is less tiring and He even used it for the benefit of my near future (I'm sorry if there're grammar, vocabulary, conjunctions or prepositions errors and stuff.. I'm getting rusty with english) .. Right now I'm enjoying myself with some caramel black tea with a lil bit...

Thoughts. I realised I've been too easy-going. No, wait, I'll rephrase that, too easily-influenced.. I think that I'm so easily-influenced to the point that I don't even realise it. I didn't think that not being judgmental would result in me drifting away from God. Why? Because I fall to the other side of the spectrum! To the point where I'm so ok-this, ok-that, and I forget what I learnt that is right/wrong. I'm getting confused. #confusedteen I think it started when I entered poly. My rigid thinking was melted and turned into molten state, and eventually, liquid, I just flowed and filled up the shape of the container. Wherever do I belong? Whom do I belong to, but God? When I said so, then why am I acting like this? I can come up with these questions and have no answer to them because really, all that's ahead of those questions are blanks. white. blanks. Probably my thoughts are running too fast I can't seem to process it fully or that I ...

Etude House Shopping Spreeesss!!~~ So glad I didn't miss the 40% discount sale! yay!!! Today's the last day~ It was actually 30% but an additional 10% discount for members. NGEHEHEHHEHEHH! And so I bought so many masks and a really glittery pink nail polish. It's my first time getting one glitter one, so I'm pretty excited to see how it looks like! (I used to have one that's like kinda gel-ish, but it has a base colour for you to put, so it's different from this one that I bought.) The reason why I bought masks was because I felt that it gives this really relaxing feel right after, especially those overnight gel masks or something, it just gives me a refreshing glow in the morning and I feel just so instantly refreshed, ready for work, ready for the day, ready for anything, HAPPY INSIDE OUT HAHA~ my skin's happy yay~ ok fine, my face skin, okay? p.s. I sleep with the aircon on most of the time so my skin on other areas can be quite dry. No worries! I...

A post today And so, I decided to blog today . Apparently, things have been pretty floppy recently, and I haven't really been in the mood to blog either. It's either too happy/tired/sad to blog. =.=" Ah well. Lazy's also a factor in all three of them anyway. My holidays are coming to an end! I'm currently rushing an assignment now.. Writing a song surrounding the concept of GREEN. And I've chosen to write a story about jealousy/feeling like crap . Or somewhere along those lines. In case some of you might've been thinking by now, nope, it's not about a real-life situation (ben and I), so don't you worry there. I'm just someone with a pretty wild imagination and really love to act out scenes that seldom/don't happen in my life. I really wonder how it's like - sometimes - to feel that way; going through certain situations in life. That aside, I've been enjoying work to the fullest - surprisingly. It's my first time in an FnB j...

INSTAAAAAgram. Guys! I'm just gonna put a badge here to link you to my instagram lol. okay. so here's it: TADAHHH!!!~ Doesn't it look cool? *heh heh* okay i know it doesn't. stop judging me. Anyways.. I'm gonna start work soon! yay~ sold my soul to another company lol. feels like, but technically not, of course. I can't wait to interact with new people there and get help T-T hahaha I'm new to that industry and of course, I'm anxious about working there. This wednesday will be my very first day~ yay~ Thank God the manager is really kind and nice ^-^ OTL one thing though... WHY DOES EVERYONE SPEAK CHINESE?!?!?!?!?! And to think choosing to not pursue guzheng I could avoid - like, practically soley - chinese-speaking people. *sob* I'm chinese, I'm proud to be, really. I just... am.. we don't... go together.. like, really. T-T I can understand to an extent, but to speak chinese is really... OTL cmi . okok, I don't want...

Not Again!! I bet it's bubzvlogz's influence . Yep, youtube vid again. bubz is a really funny, cute, bubbly girl. Her vids are usually just about the stuff she does and then back on topic and some random stuff here and there, but it's just really entertaining to watch her talk and and and.. DAT ACCENT D8 haha I think her husband has the same accent. !THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER! Yea. I guess it's also because of the holidays that I feel so glad to be free to blog, do my leisure activities and such. Ah yes! Today was the very very first time Ben and I went "overseas" (malaysia).. Well, with his parents.. for shopping xD It was really fun I guess! I bought a whole lot of stuff! I calculated/estimated it to be $148.10 if I were to purchase the same items in Singapore. Guess how much I spent in the end? ~S$84!!!!!!! HOW MUCH DID I SAVE THERE?? S$64.10!!!!!!!!! WHAT. I'm so going back to malaysia to get more stuff next time. Thanks to Ben and his pare...

Because I want to. It's funny how it's ALWAYS the same every time I watch youtube vids - particularly from "click network.tv". I always feel like blogging. Haha! No, blogging here DOES NOT indicate me watching a vid from that channel before. Anyways, here's a photo of what I got earlier! Ngehehehehh.. This is what happens when I walk into any department store that sells make-up products I'm ever so interested to try. Ah yes, and also because my mom was with me that I got this for "free". Ngehehehhh..~~ p.s. don't mind my messy look, haha I totally took this impromptu. and it's really late at night. and I'm about to sleep anyway. so. ah~~ don't care xD This is Maybelline's Baby Skin Pore Eraser. I wonder if it really works. Only way to find out is to try it! >:D muahahha . Can't wait to do so when I head out with the girls tomorrow! I think we'll be going around orchard central, then to cathay and so...

Appreciation I just took some time to do that . I realised I don't really get to do that these days. It's either because I'm busy doing work or I'm just too lazy and I don't wanna think about anything at all. Well, recent events really made me appreciate whatever I had before and now as well. They say that pride is something you'll grow to have more of as you age, I would think that to be true - at least for me. So I guess the one final score to settle all that was for God to place something in me that would really bring me back down to earth, on my knees, head down low, to stop that flow. I always thought I could handle things well. I thought of worst-case scenarios, how I would deal with them such that if it really happened, I wouldn't react too bad about it, ya know? But hey, there's always a line between imagination and reality. What you feel in your imagination can right about be nowhere near how you'd really feel in reality. For example...