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Confidence Stepping up Inhaling thin, cool air Face the audience Smile I'm probably getting pretty intimidated by my own actions right now. Yes, it seems, to an extent, sort of a stupid thing to do, but I feel that I can't help but step up. Something tells me I have to. Now. Alright, so what's intimidating me? I'll be playing keys for worship this sat morning for music network, leading worship for cell, also this saturday.. and sharing a testimony of what actually happened last night and this morning/afternoon. A little afraid due to my past experience not being a really good one.. you know.. standing behind that pulpit.. and have about 200 pairs of eyes staring at you, as if expecting an extremely professional speech that awaits them that they may be impressed and laugh along and nod and nod and nod......... Wellll... I saw a video about losing weight. So this girl talking for about... 22 minutes and then shows her before and after losing weight photos. It was...

I Will Sing Just wanna say that I'm so inspired by Don Moen. When the worship leader led the congregation to sing this song as prelude, I was so touched. It was something that, I can literally, always use as a prayer to God because I always find myself falling short of the glory of God and this song just lifts my spirits up. It's pretty old, but it's beautiful. As I scrolled down to read the comments, although I've never met these people before, don't know their names, don't know what kind of lives they lead, or anything... I was glad to see, people, who love God just as much as I do, with all their heart. In the recent months, I've been quite upset with myself, other than the 'Honesty' goal, I'd realised I'm not that good at keeping in touch with this someone whose name I shall not mention.. And I didn't realize the consequence until now... And it was probably because of my negligence which led her to feel discouraged, demoralised ...

Honesty. And so, I see I can never revert back to my old blogger interface anymore.. I therefore dislike blogger.. It's been quite some time since I've written a post from deep down within me. I figured it's probably time to make blogger useful. Honesty is my year goal. So how did I come up with it? It's pretty random actually. I just somehow felt that.. I should try to aim to be as honest as possible. If it's for the best for everyone, it should do people good. Of course, there'll be times where people are not used to my frank-ness or are not comfortable it.. or what it brings after the feeling. A lot of things go wrong, but if it - in the end - brings both parties together and closer, I believe, it's worth it, no matter how obviously huge the mountain is that you are going to face just because of being honest . It's more than half a year now, and if you asked me, of course, I fail, every single time, every single day - as far as I can remember,...

God comes to us where we are After today's sermon, I can't help but think about what my mom said a couple of months back when I questioned, so some are against mega churches, some belittle small churches.. why? I mean, okay lor, maybe teaching wrong or something..? My mom said that God reveals Himself slowly to us, He comes to us and shows us Himself in the way He knows would best be good for us. For example, if some are afraid of hearing voices or something, God may not reveal Himself to you with his voice, but maybe in your dreams, or through people. I've been thinking.. does that mean, even when some people may find the mega churches' teaching are wrong? or maybe just different? Honestly, I wouldn't really know since I've never really attended a mega church service.. okay, maybe twice, in two different churches. One of FCBC, then New Creation Church. But that was pretty wayyyyyy back long long long time ago :\ So I can't really recall. But yeah, it's ...

Awake again. Hmm. Well, I'll make this post a pretty short and random one. Today was my third day of work and I'm really glad that through this work, I'm able to work on my tolerance with people.... especially people from my school... ._. Well, it's helped me to look at things positively and to be real patient with people even when they shut you off. I guess I can apply this learning to life, where there will be people who'll shut you off, but to remember what Jesus said, "Forgive them for they know not what they are doing." I may not be in a position to do that, but, I guess I can always tell myself, " Everyone's learning ." I'm pretty tired after today. My boss is pretty nice(: (: So I can probably rest assured about work, pretty much... First day made one appt and the 2nd and 3rd day made 2 appts each. (: (: Though it's a bit draining, but I'd need to rely on God for strength to persevere!(: as well as to apply what I've l...

Late at night Yep, I have no idea what title fits this post for it's gonna be random again. and... and it's late so half of my brain is probably switched off already haha :p I guess I'm pretty nervous about tomorrow.. Having to start work the first day.. hearing a lot of scary stuff just today.. not a very good thing to remember :s Well, to remember as in to remember and think too much about it. I've never worked my whole life before - except teaching dora the er hu and tutoring a math. But all those were people whom I know, so it's not really "working" experience. This very first job job I'm getting was recommended by my friend. Pressurizing and difficult, but may be really boring and easy. So it's both ends of the spectrum... yep. That was what I heard before tomorrow. oh dear ._." Well, late at night and my thoughts usually run wild, but since my body clock's changing, I think I'm still sane haha! :\ .. I've been thinking about ...

Holidays! :D :D :D Oh that awesome awesome word. Someone should be as brave as rebecca black and come up with a song with that beautiful, most desired word. Okay, nonsense aside, YAY! MY EXAMS ARE OVER! :D I pretty confident with my math :D haha that one confirm A already. (: According to my math lecturer, if I could pass the exam paper with 54/100, then I'd get an A already. (: Well, I think I did exceedingly well, even surprised I could do the Fourier Series question!! :O :O Hmm.. As for the other modules, the module which I'm most afraid of is Synthesis and Composition :s :s Apparently, the test paper was really.... I don't know man. 5 marks for one word? really? =.= With all my exams aside, I still have one more assignment to be handed up by this Friday, 5pm. No worries! Handing in tomorrow :3 pfft. wasted 3 CDs on that -.- burn and bounce files out from LOGIC wrong. GRRRR . Anyways, I'm finally done! And I think my report was pretty long, especially when including...

E. I'm tired. Really, really tired. I wished I didn't need to sleep.

Towards the end of Sem 1! :O Ah.. time flies, really.. I must say, though it's just nearing the end of the first semester, I've done A LOT of things. Everything was pretty much a zoom zoom choo-train for me :\ And I've got a feeling we're a little bit... still like their "hamsters", still experimenting if they should go at this pace or this pace to suit the students' learning.. whoa... seriously. late nights of working on projects and stuff... I really don't want to, or rather, cannot see myself in Year 2 and 3. It'll probably be hell. -.-" Despite the busy-ness, I do find the things I do beneficial to my goal: to compose, record and produce a christian album. Still far far away... but ah well. Start small , they always say. (: Some updates.. - Musicianship exam (major & minor scales of C, C#, D, E, F, F#, G, A & B, sight-singing [rhythm], part playing..? -> something got to do with lead sheet. melody & identifying and playing c...

A Thousand Years ~ Cold sweat and sweaty palms A scream in my dream, a tear in my eye Pictures flashing, sudden qualm Back straightened up, then collapsed with a sigh Fingers running through thin strands of hair A song, a story, I've always dreaded Always the heavy lump of despair A huge amount of energy wasted There I lay, Rolling around, All wrapped up Beads of perspiration flowing down But still the frostiness lingers The Lie, I convinced myself no longer I bit my lower lip and swallowed Eyes closed, clenched fist Hunger for warmth grew every second Words in my mind were a thousand It moved, my mouth, it opened wide Not a sound heard, I tried, tried, tried... Taking a deep breath in, Shaky, but steady, I held it in One more day -- I lied to myself again -- It'll all be gone -- all this pain. ~

Monday Bluez You guys might be wondering why I put that as a heading since it's Tuesday now. Simple reason, it's currently 12.37am, Tuesday. Recently I thought I'd be pretty busy and stressed, but looks like this week will be a clear sky for me! :D :D I've long settled practicing for my musicianship class, a little more and it'd be good enough for an 8/10! Would need to now start practicing on my natural, harmonic, melodic minor scales as well.. a little not used to it, but thanks to music theory I'm learning pretty fast :D Thank God for this opportunity to learn theory! :D :D Haha, I am not eligible to go apply for NAFA after I'm done with this module :p nah, just kidding. This music theory thingy's just good to have and apply whenever I guess. not just for entry requirement to NAFA. Well, I woke up today feeling pretty dizzy and still in the mode of just got out of my dream - literally. haha, I felt as if I just opened the door from my dream to reality...

Second Half It really felt like it was just the end of the first half of the semester two days ago. Sigh. Yesterday commemorates the second half of the semester! :\ I remember slacking for about 2hours ++ during musicianship class because or teacher had 4 1/2 hours for our class and she was already done after barely 2 hours or so. So I decided to watch one piece for the last 1 hour. :p :p Class? Well, the first lesson was supposedly music theory (MUST), and I was supposed to present yesterday, but my teach. was sick so there was no lesson really and I just stoned. -.-" Cos rushed my presentation the previous night, adding in all the animation to finish it off. Hmm.. But I do think I should add more stuff... I shall see(: ... I just realized I added the references for my presentation slides + programme notes together and attached it to the programme notes.. when I was just supposed to attached the bibliography references to the programme notes....... =.= AIYARH. I'm so tired my...

Mid-hols Time flies ._. I'm really beginning to miss my 6-month holiday before school. BWAHH. T-T Hmm.. well, just to update a bit right now, I'm progressing with my two projects: music theory and GenEd. Just done with the written presentation, gonna be submitting to SafeAssign to see my plagiarism score.. then gotta get started on the 10-minute oral presentation soon.. For GenEd, I'm done with most of the research on the causes of age discrimination.. Gotta do more research based on different perspectives next(: Alright! So... life? Well, I find that I'm blogging different now. Still thinking whether I should change this to my personal blog or "update blog". If you get what I mean. Seems like I'm writing/expressing my personal thoughts elsewhere.. which is true.. haha! :p Well, I do have something to write here though. I thought about this a few weeks ago, while my mom was sending me to school early in the morning where it was still pretty dark and gloomy...

FOOD TRIP! yep! as the title states, I went on a food trip today :D :D Hehe it's pretty much the first time going to different places to fulfill the many cravings I have on my food list - and yep! first time with Ben too :D Hehe, well, my list isn't that long, but despite that, we were both pretty full at the end of the day! I was extremely bloated. Here's the list! - Apple Strudel @ Bugis Junction - Soup Bowl (Clam Chowder) @ Kovan's Double Spout - Seafood Fried Rice @ Kovan's Double Spout - Daim Cake @ IKEA (Tampines) - Banana Split @ Bugis Junction's Swensen's yum.... hehe! After today shall have porridge for the the whole day tomorrow ._. Seems like everyone's falling sick.. I'd probably passed the virus to my dad, daryl passed to ben, regina's also sick - losing her voice~ haha! oh dear. virus spread! :s :s ok so random. ok. Well, I'm really looking forward to the coming days this week! It'll be more dates with Ben as well as a celeb...

Test week! Just a little update on my poly life now. Currently done with my ear-training test on Monday (for musicianship class) and the weekly quiz for music theory. phooo! the quizzes for music theory are getting harder and harder, but no worries! I'm practicing the music theory exercises like crazy and am improving on my knowledge of music theory bit by bit :p :p Hmm.. Tomorrow there'll be a 2-hr math test going on for me in the late afternoon (3.30-5.30pm). I'm hoping the paper wouldn't be too difficult and that I wouldn't make careless mistakes! =.= I tried last year's MST and it was pretty easy.. except that the last question was cancelled out because the setter included a topic that was not supposed to be in the test: Complex Numbers. And so.. talking about complex numbers.. Today I've learn the 2nd half of the first part about complex numbers. But for now, I gotta drill the basics - which I missed because I was sick last thursday - into my mind first...

By Our Love So firstly, YAY! I've restored my blogskin :D :D however, here's the sad news: the old blogger interface will be replaced with the new one (cannot go back to the old) in months to come. so.. I can't edit my blogskin or make a personalized blogskin anymore.. I'd tried editing with the new version.. It's terrible! :s It's like.. goodness, html got so many different formats and everything also cannot change one. tsk. pek cheek!): ): Ah well, that's not the main purpose why I'm writing this post anyway :\ Well, there's the video as I've promised earlier today! :D It's called, "By Our Love". The very thing that struck me was the part where the pastor said, "Why are we loving those who are already so loved?" It reminded me of us christians sometimes being exclusive.. too exclusive. And this is a barrier, stopping evangelism from happening. Perhaps an unconscious doing.. that we just can't identify the reason ours...

Okay, for those who might be wondering why a change in my blogskin, here's a short explanation: Apparently I found out ever since the new format of the webpage of blogger, they've edited my html and my bold words aren't blue anymore. Neither are my italic words pink. I felt like everything just went down the drain when I tried restoring the original template back. cheat my feelings. still said they got original template with them. -.- where? gone. sigh. I've to start from scratch. So, I guess that's the assignment for this week! restart a new blogskin, add in all my details and what not. I shan't add in a tagboard because I'm really too lazy to go to the website and get the html.. and no one's really typing in it, so..... yep! well, I wanted to share a video and a post about yesterday's sermon that the COR youth's pastor preached.. But, I guess I'll do that in the next post. Alright then! That's all for this post, I shall end here becau...

Sigh.. sian ._. The thought of going to school on monday is just.. sian. :\ Got a mock exam on musicianship on that day.. :s no one knows who'll be going in the room to get tested first or anything. gah, so scary ._. my most feared tests are the intervals and singing in solfege..... sigh ._. I'm so bad in those. Well, looking on the bright side, I've conquered my GenEd presentation this week! :D :D Seems like my teach. was quite pleased with my presentation (: (: So, other than the musicianship mock exam on monday, I've got music theory test/quiz on tuesday. Ah, that one no prob, cos I'm pretty confident already (triads - basic stuff). So just gotta concentrate on monday's mock exam.. and I can relax for the rest of the week ._. well, not so, but ah well. I'll try to. Week 6 (revision week) is coming and week 7 (MSTs week) is next! I'm pretty afraid, but shall choose to rest and rely on God more(: (: Oh yes! And tuesday gotta play a melody I comp...

Fearless Another book I've been reeeeeaaaaally glued to!! It's pretty exciting at the beginning, and emotional throughout (somewhat), and the plot is just pretty cool(: something new to me, something I've never really read before(: I do recommend this book to bookworms out there! :D :D It's.. "Fearless", as you can see, by Francine Pascal. Well, a little update, I'm on to Book IV or V of psalms I think. haha I forgot :p it's either one, definitely 100++ but I can't remember where I stopped at exactly... And I'm finally at the last lesson for my study on 1 & 2 Tim and Titus qt material/book. SO.. poly life, yes. hmm.. need to keep up! I've got a test on monday, and it'll be on the usually ear-training stuff like singing the interval of a random note played on the keyboard, singing solfege one scale up or down, etcetc. And the keys part which consists of playing the first page of "Melody", playing the scales of A and E...

Finding myself. It's been a long while since I'd last did some art. don't judge .

Forgetting a lot of things lately. Like it's been completely erased from my memory, unintentionally , to add.

NEW BLOGGER FORMAT?!?!?!! :O :O Whoa... haha need some time to get used to this :p Well.. I just felt like posting this music video. haha I don't know, but I think some of you guys might not really like her, but, I think some of her songs are pretty meaningful and encouraging. This is one of the many songs(: Hope you guys'll appreciate/enjoy it! And another one! haha just came to know of the song while exploring youtube :p

Second Day of Poly Life No, I'm not gonna do this every day -.- Just updating a bit.. GWAAAAA!!! I'M GONNA GET AN IPAD! FOR THE COURSE DUH. BUT WHO CARES? AHHHHHHH HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA AND AHHHHH CAN USE THE LOGICPRO SOFTWARE AHHH AHHH AHHHH!!!! IT'S A SUPER DUPER COOL SOFTWARE, THAT ALLOWS YOU TO COMPOSE SONGS WITH THE KEYS!! TO PLAY THE DRUMS, ETC. JUST LIKE GARAGEBAND. ONLY BETTER!!!! And no, neither am I advertising any apple product. :p Today had to buy some music theory book which cost me $48.50 T-T oh man. And looks like all my modules are pretty manageable - I THINK - except for the music theory one.. the most stress one... need to do tons of presentations and quizzes/tests.. I can't even tell what's CA1, MST, CA2, Test. When's when?! gahh... so confusing.. every teach. use different um.. acronym...? Ah well, no time to complain.. Tests start next week. oh gosh. and only second day of school ._. Gotta go read the music theory textbook later for tmr.. ahh and...

First Day of Poly Life Well.. turned out to be, much different than I thought it'd be :\ First day of poly life felt like the first day of a secondary school life, a first day in a new class, etc. The people here're pretty friendly and so's my teach. for my module, "musicianship"! yay! Teacher Candice FTW! :D She's really encouraging. Today learnt on relative pitching and perfect pitch... Then we did many exercises (since it was a tutorial) and paired up to practice intervals, and we have to stand in front of class (of 10) and "sing" =.=" Oh terrible. And there's this guy in my class who's really zai.. During class when we tried the piece, "Melody.. Young something...", and I think He was either first or the first few to present it to the class.. and he added his own stuff and played it really fast, when the score sheet clearly said, "NOT FAST." eh-hem. but okay lah, very creative(: Lots of funny people in my class an...

Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars Somebody That I Used To Know - Walk Off The Earth (Gotye cover) Enjoy. (:

Piled up Yup, as the title of this post said it, I've got things piled up on my plate and got so many things to do, so little time to get it all done.. :s This week was supposed to be my rest week since I've graduated from SERVE last week. However, things didn't exactly go the way I planned it. It's quite depressing enough as it is.. then comes the additional things I'd almost forgotten to do like getting headphones before school starts, doing the worship thingy for this sat.. sigh. I can go around looking just like this every day ->> -_______- Well, at least I'm thankful for the short time of rest here and there every day, and I could say, yesterday was the best day ever, where I did absolutely nothing but relax . So.. Here are the things I've to do: 1) Get new headphones before school starts 2) Settle worship thingy ASAP 3) Keep checking my school websiteSSS for updates (what class, class timetable, etc) 4) Prepare documents for the SP scholarship ...

Angsty. It was supposed to be a week of rest. bullshit.

MacBook Pro First time blogging on my very first macbook (pro)! :D :D okay. actually that's about it for this post. gah I ran out of things to blog on haha! :p Oh! I know there's one thing to talk about! i mean.. announce... I might be introducing the new song I composed, inspired by SERVE, to the SERVE people on SERVE grad day. (: MIGHT. see how.. cos need to chord the song.. and I need Ben to help me with that! :p :p Okies! bye peeps.

Mission Trip to Chiangmai, Thailand! :D Packing's going pretty alright now... Well, I'll be MIA-ing for a bit till this coming friday! And that's almost about it for this post.. Hmm.. feeling a bit tired after the last min. cramming of admin stuff to do before the mission trip.. and the rushing through a lot of practices on facilitating.. gah thinking about all that just makes me feel tired enough ._. Well, I hope I'll get plenty of sleep tonight and get up afresh tmr! Can't wait for the mission trip!! :D :D Hmm and those who are reading this, do keep me and my friends in prayer yeah!(: thanks!

Faith, Love & Patience. Today my serve group and I had a mini surprise for one of our members in the group who's leaving for further studies in Australia till November or so. We decided to hold it at Botanic Gardens where there is beautiful scenery and atmosphere, a perfect place to surprise her with her favourite song, "All About Us". It has a pretty catchy and nice tune to and I got the song drilled in my head after listening to it for a few times :p Now, when we reached Botanic Gardens, there we saw TONS AND TONS OF MILLIPEDES/CENTIPEDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eek ._. Actually mostly centipedes. many squashed ones too. bleh .... feel sorry for them :\ Well, aside from that, we noticed the dark clouds approaching and we knew it wasnt a good sign. Brandon (one of my group members) lead us all in prayer for the weather. It did rain, a very heavy one too. I began to worry.. if it continues to rain.. then our surprise would be ruined... but nonetheless, I kept God ...

SACH My attachment to sach has finally ended yesterday.. pretty tiring since I'm the group leader and have to do my best to keep the group energy level to medium or something. :s and apparently my other group leader very slack. sheesh. very annoying also. so i did most of the work -.- Well, I didn't really mind or cared. Cos I was more focused on the activities done there, what I can give, what experience will I have when I'm there. And I guess it really pays off when I got to interact with an old lady patient (76 yrs old), and I don't think I can reveal much info here, neither can I upload a picture of her and me and my two other friends, steffi and deborah..... But really, seeing her smile is like the best thing in the world. Being able to make someone's day, really cheered me up and made me feel all those tiring things I did before meeting her or during the attachment really paid off when I saw her really enjoying herself talking to my friends and me. :D :D Anoth...

Update! Whee! Yesterday was the day I played the grand piano after so many years haha.. got me a little nervous, but I felt really great playing it! Love the sound quality and all :D :D Well, a little update so far, as for my qt, I'm still doing one 1&2 Tim, Titus as well as the Psalms. As for the first qt material, I'm still on lesson 2, got a feeling it'll last me 4 months more or so, with the study of psalms on alternate days.. As for the psalms, I'm done with book III! Moved on to book IV about a few days ago. Gonna be doing Psalm 91 today I think(; And besides that, this is the last week of SERVE! I mean, the lessons part, that is. After which there'll be the attachment for 5 days, I'm attached to SACC (Hospital). Hmm.. gonna be with some of my group members as well as some members from other groups cos the attachment doesn't follow the current grouping we're in now.. Anyways, gonna make new friends!(: (: and bleh, I'm one of the two leaders...

(: A "wordless" title would fit this post perfectly . Yay! SERVE has been really fun and great! :D :D Got to know more about my new friends and engage in some personal conversations and it's really encouraging to experience all of this(: As I begin to see God working in other people's lives, I feel like I'm really not alone, and I'm not afraid to share my own personal experience with God. Now here's the problem. SERVE is ending, I won't be staying in SERVE forever, and as according to the great commission, I am to evangelise (beginning part) right... So... how am I gonna do that with people whom I have no clue about, don't know if they're open or comfortable hearing me out? My insecurity lurks within me and it's hard to break through that little box inside of me. One part of SERVE is to step out of your comfort zone, I remembered. Well, I just suddenly thought of many things...... literally . From random quotes like, "Walking by faith ...

Hisashiburi! I know it's been a long while since the last time I posted, so I shall reward you guys with three videos today! which shall be posted at the end of my post(: Hmm.. a little update on SERVE and CNY celebrations! For SERVE, I've been having really so much fun with my group and it's just really wonderful to be in a group with everyone being so cooperative! :D Give thanks to God for that :D :D Well, as for the place for the mission trip my group will be going to, that would be Chengmai, Thailand. Yepp, it's in Northern Thailand I think...? At least, where we're gonna be..... teaching the students english/eq/stories of Jesus Christ. During the mission trip prep, we've been playing certain games which help us to learn about facilitation and help us to find out more about our eq, and yes, know more about our friends(: I thoroughly enjoy the games played during the meetings and realise there's really so much about eq that I had no idea about! :o Well, I...

Fries! Yep, fries! today just made some fries and cooked it in our very own, airfryer! hehehee not bad actually, no need oil to cook, just air(: hmm.. apparently because there's no oil involved... I can't seem to get the salt to stick to the fries =.= so the fries kinda taste funny.. maybe I should put a small bowl of salt and dip the fries in it before eating :p more effective? hehe! Well, today in SERVE we talked about the first half of the beatitudes (Matt5:3-7). And it made me think about the incident I had recently.. It's not easy to forgive even when the person sort of put you through much pain after all. But I'm still learning to do so(: I was pretty glad to be able to share more about my personal life and not be embarrassed about it.. I still have problems speaking up & out loud so whenever I do, I still blush at the end =.= gah, gotta overcome my nervousness some day :s oh well, at least I know I'm not alone :p hmm... Today was a pretty tiring day.. But...

SERVE It's the second day of SERVE and I must say, I quite like the new environment here. Everyone was so nice yesterday, all smiles and ready to serve, literally.(: But I guess there's still the new environment feeling as always... Today felt a bit... estranged. Well, a lot of things went through my mind today, but despite that, it didn't stop me from learning. I was so inspired by what Steve shared today. He's not a pastor or anything, just a church member, but he's gone to speak to many people - around my age or a little older - for the past few years. Today we learnt about our identity in Christ which is how God sees us. After the teaching, we were given questions and to answer them as we do qt in some comfortable and quiet and less distracted area. I think I found mine... shall go there tmr again.. Hmm.. Well, I would say I got a little bit distracted. But nonetheless, God was gracious and allowed me to learn something from the distraction. And the lesson is.. ...

Half full I'm on the road to majoring in music! :D well, getting ready for the big day sure is pretty tough, but I guess music has once again calmed me down for sure(: Did some productive stuff today.. did some laundry, clean orlie's pee on the floor, help someone with chording (and yay i identified the key correctly! :D), played some random piece on the piano... watch anime, playing tetris...... whoooooa! loads of stuff there :p Was supposed to tutor anna today but something came up suddenly so had to cancel tuition for today. :s Well, I'm trying to look at things positively nowadays, I guess making that effort really is helping me with my anger issues. Yes, I have anger issues..... :\ hmm.. I feel much better also actually (: Focusing less on what's not very important and focusing on what really is made me feel really great today(: Ohh! I watched a movie today too! by myself ._. Hmm.. the title of the movie's called "Water For Elephants".. Yup, it's ...

"False Testimony.." it echoes through my head. Sigh. Why was I even bothered by it? It feels like I'm walking in a desert, tired, hungry, thirsty and my heart's filled with an impossible hope. I feel like I'm in a battle, fighting against my opponent - the devil - but it's attacking me in areas where I can't retaliate, or even block. And it's even cut me deep. But you would say.. Those who know Him would say.. "Where's God?" I'm not saying He's not here, but rather, I am - in a way - ignoring Him, not wanting God's help. Well, that's what people would think from the outside. It's not that I deliberately do so, but more so that I don't know how to let God deal with my daily battles in life. Remembering that Jesus died on the cross for ALL our sins wasn't enough. I needed to let go. Letting go is something I find so hard to do. Letting go of people you love, people you hate, your past, present, future, even letti...

Living by God's grace I used to think it was easy to live by God's grace.. until there was a sudden change in my attitude and behaviour towards things, people.. I then began to condemn them, people, myself, more and more each day; how things should be so and not like whatever the person is doing. I became bounded by the laws, which made me realise what I did was unnecessary. I'm saved by God's grace, not works. The day came when I realised of my actions, my wrongdoings, I realise how difficult it is to ask for forgiveness and truly live by God's grace. I found it hard to get back up after falling. But I'm glad God's love saved me. Yesterday when I was doing my qt, or rather, before I started, I reflected and prayed about myself. How strangely God reminded me, right at the point of time, the story of the prodigal son. I burst into tears immediately upon thinking of God being so forgiving. I was reminded of how I shouldn't let my past decide my future, or ...

Long post.. I guess it's really been ages since I'd last blogged huh :p Well I'll make it up to you by posting a really long one today. First up: my trip to Cambodia! I thought it was pretty surprising when I first stepped out of the airport in phnom penh cos the weather was pretty cold! Like.. 22-23 dc? (Well that's what the board thingy said).. We stayed there for a day before heading to Takeo to start on our mission!(: Made many friends from the people in Phnom Penh (CCOP aka the church there) and really, they're so nice. Look at singapore? sigh... We started with hairwashing! then.. headed to the first village on the second/third day - a bumpy ride indeed =.= But I guess it was all worth it when we got to see the people there. They performed for us and it was heartwarming to see them sing and dance their hearts out for us.(: We did the puppet show and then there were some teachings/skits by CCK (the church we're working with) and sermon while we gather the ...

FYI It's been pretty long since I'd last posted :p Well, for this post it's just gonna be informative... Pretty busy this december.. Events involve going to cambodia next week, YE camp, CCIS perf, and giving a math tuition all the way in the west....... So.. with all these events taking place this december, there're loads of preparation and for now, I think I need to buy some three quarts for the cambodia mission trip.. oh, and practice the songs on my guzheng - which I'll be playing for the people there.. Also need to finalise the score for ju hua tai, by Jay Chou (on guzheng) for CCIS. Need loads of prac too, of course. Then the preparation for a math tuition.. I guess for now I just need to pick up some skills of tutoring :p and also revise on the topics.. phew! okay that sounds like a lot... :\ Really worried for my precious guzheng - which I've been practicing on for nearly 10 years now - though.. Hope the "airport people" will take EXXXXXXXTREEEE...

Open eyes The soft, pale fingers tracing from the edge of the sheets She walks clumsily, yet steadily, To the end of the bed she meets Stale and still, the wind became weak A wish yet to be fulfilled now slowly disappearing What did she have left? What hope did she have left? All was gone All was gone. The wine-glass in her hand A teardrop descended In the milliseconds Pictures in her mind played like a film Gone in a flash Gone in a dash What was left of her? Nothing more horrendous, the crazy bell constantly ringing in her mind no one she could tell Everyone was blind Ripples formed Like a disaster taking place She crumbled to bits She hid her face Tears streaming down Memories flowing back A fixed frown and a hunched back Nothing was & Nothing could ever be worse than The horrendous R egret. CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

"PROM" Wheee~ I'm back from prom! (held yesterday at goodwood park hotel) :D :D hehe apparently ours wasn't called prom cos we wanted to be special so it's now known as Cambridge dinner (: Preparation was pretty chaotic and impromptu but I guess it all turned out well and I saw many pretty pretty gals during c.d. night! :D Our ex-ex-principal, ex-principal and current principal as well as the sec 4 teachs came down that day to celebrate with us(: Took many photos and ate a lot .... ohohohoh! and they served my favourite fish! O-O ....... of which its name I had forgotten .............. :p Well I had a really satisfying dinner and great time with my friends that night :D hahaa partying like crazy and took loads of photos........ which can be found on fb(: hmmm.. ohoh! and I'd learnt how to play daidi too! Won my all-time-thrashers-of-the-game friends on the third go at the game :p hahaa... after which I got thrashed countless times ._. Oh well, what matters is...

Mirai BY MIHO FUKUHARA Lazy to blog ;p

Not even Now not even soft toys not even beef steaks not even turquoise not even breaks Not even honey not even games not even movies not even photo frames not even music not even veggietales not even comics not even funny e-mails not even videos not even orlie not even cellos not even brownies not even piano not even guzheng not even a rainbow not even singing not even drawing not even painting not even designing not even sighing not even these not even those not even you not even me can breakaway what I feel now.. nothing can. no one can. no , not even anybody . p.s. this is just written to vent out certain emotions.