I'll be there for you . I know you're really upset that I told you not to sms me . You must be wondering how "ungrateful" I am, probably .. because of my ignorance to you . Well, it doesn't mean I won't help you with your problems anymore . I'm willing . I'm willing to get scolded smsing you because I'm helping someone . It's worth getting scolded for . I really don't mind . I just don't wish you to emo again . Honestly, I'm sorry if my tone's a bit harsh to you, in a sense, but, it's very irritating to be around someone emo . Meaning, no matter how much I tell the person to change, just one step out, and the person refuses, and stay in the knuckleshell and emo all day long . It's really fustrating . And you should know that because you've done it with me before . CHECKMATE! drAmAQUEEN . Stress in exams . Geography paper was really difficult . Today was Literature . It was much better . Though I really REALLY had no...
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I am so freakin' happy and sad and worried and scared and angry and anxious.. ALL AT THE SAME TIME . Gosh . What's wrong with me? I'm happy 'cos I'm getting contact lens soon, maybe tomorrow (just making it) . I'm sad 'cos my guzheng teacher is leaving this week )): I'm worried because I'm afraid I might not be able to finish my studying/mugging in time before exams!!!! I'm scared because by then, I'd FAIL . gosh . I'm angry because of some PEOPLE ...... I'm anxious because of everything . but I still hear the verse from Matthew, yet, I'm NOT applying it .. WTH IS WRONG WITH ME??? no motivation . right . This sucks . CHECKMATE drAmAQUEEN .
RULES: - Tell 100 Truths - Tag 5 people after( I changed it cause its in blog) - They do the same back to you 5 people you are tagging(either post on blog, or email if no blog) 1. Whoever visits my blog 2. Whoever visits my blog 3. Whoever visits my blog 4. Whoever visits my blog 5. Whoever visits my blog 1. Last beverage → Barley, 2. Last phone call → Mother 3. Last text message → Zoey 4. Last song you listened to → Panic - BSB 5. Last time you cried → Forgot . Whoops! SIX HAVE YOU EVER: 1. Dated someone twice → No 2. Been cheated on? → Probably yes . Don't know . 3. Cheated someone else? → I feel, maybe yes . 4. Lost someone special? → Yes 5. Been depressed? → Yes, used to be super emo . 6. Been drunk and threw up? → No LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS: Black,White, Green followed by other colours HAVE YOU: 1. Made new friends → Yes 2. Fallen out of love → Uh? Ye ne...... anio..... uhhhhh.. 3. Laughed until you cried → Yes 4. Met someone who changed you → Yes 5. Found out who your true...
I was in a coffee shop . Walking towards it, I saw two boxes . out of curiosity, I walked towards it . This is a box all white with small black poka dots I opened it and it looked like apples that were gonna rot I moved on to the next box .. This is a box all white with no poka dots I opened it and there I saw the future of one's destiny White and Gold it was golden pavements, white clouds, soft and golden counches white table, golden chairs But I felt something was wrong Suddenly the image swirled into a blackhole sounds of laughing and mocking of the people and crows echoed As everything around me was being sucked into the blackhole Slowly, I, too, was dragged along Then I heard a voice A voice that somewhat seemed familiar I cried for help and I saw a figure, I saw a hand touched it and everything went back to normal I was at the same spot and the time when I was staring at those two boxes .. Face as pale as a sheet As I stared into nothing .. but the red-brick walls .. and noth...
Irregular Yikes .. irregular . Doesn't it give an ugly impression to you? Oh well, I was kinda bored.. uh... I wrote a poem . Jealousy Here I am With my dark suitcase Weighed with missing pasts That were gone without a trace Here I am The unforgettable place At my desk where I used to have chats all that's left now is dark memories of my fullest regrets Here was where I started Right from the beginning I remembered by eyes darted at the sight of the man whom I found most charming Leticus was his name London was from where he came Tall and young Bold and bright blue glimmering eyes that most probably'd shine at night Then came Christy with her wonder gang took his hand and stole my man There she stood, Tall and slim Tanned and pretty a bitchy personality and still so petty She started to go out with him She started to hug him She started to kiss him when all she did was to play with him Her blonde hair blinds me Her scream kills me Her words agitate me Her laughter irritates...
It was a sad night yesterday//TIRED TODAY DD; Yes, it WAS a sad night yesterday. I cried . I wanna say a word of thanks to someone who truly comforted me yesterday: Well, thanks Jelene, for yesterday night . I know you were kinda tired and was about to sleep, but when I asked if I could talk to you, you called me . And so I told you everything and I cried halfway through . Maybe I really was taking everything too heavily, I know the partial reason is due to stress, at least I do acknowledge that already . so.. well, I just wanna say that I'm really thankful for what u did to help me yesterday night . I'm so glad God spoke through you, He really is my true comforter, you too(: I liked your message that you sent to me today; "hey=) hope u r feeling much better. anw, i saw something for u . which is, PRAYER is not overcoming GOD'S reluctance, it is laying hold of HIS highest willingness" And I kinda agree on it . Though I was confused at first, it sounding almost s...
8 days ..... Yea that's right . AWAY FROM THE COMP. FOR 8 DAYS!! LOL . JK . You can just read the testimony below :D Just didn't post for 8 days . EIGHT LOOONNNGGG DAYS . Okay, I know I sound stupid k, but till now, I have no idea what the heck cliche means . Or is that how you guys even spell it? =.=" Sighs . And .. well, this is .. the week that I tell my parents about my results.. And also, study+homework+practise guzheng and piano week, yeah? Sigh . I still left FOUR homework.. so screwed man.. not done studying geog. too .. I'm left with two more topics ._. AND .. well, don't know about you guys, but I still have history, physics, chinese to study .. AND .. on the first day, it's CHINESE . Gosh . This means I need to finish all of the rest of the subjects so that I have "fresh" memory of the chinese cheng yu, yan yu and guan yong yu stuff .......... oh jeez -.- Sigh . gastritis problem back again, my mum AND MY CHEM teach said if I keept havin...
OHMYGAWD . I'm so pathetic -__- HERE IT IS!! MY BIRTHDAY .. YET, I'M AT HOME .. ALONE .. WITH ORLIE .. AND THE FOUR WALLS TO ACCOMPANY MY HAPPY DAY . Supposed to meet zoey and jia hao at macs( ZOEY SUGGESTED ), but jia hao couldn't make it . Then I ask zoey go . She ask me whether wanna eat anot . I said maybe . She come tell me she no money . Then I ask her wanna come my house anot, it's so friggin' near anyways . She forward some msg to dunno who and who plus me, saying she NOT MEETING ME . Thanks . I SO NEEDED THAT ONY MY BIRTHDAY . JUST WHEN I WANT TO CELEBRATE IT WITH SOMEONE . NOT A SINGLE PERSON IS THERE . except orlie . See? this is why orlie is so close to me and she's my one and only ALL-TIME BEST FRIEND OF MY LIFE OKAY!! (For the years that she live T.T) Sigh .. I woke up, read my book, fell asleep again . Woke up again, ate my lunch and played guzheng from 11am+ to 1.10pm . Still pissed off about the fact that I'm not celebrating my birthday with...
MUGGING//CORRECTIONS//9 PAPERS IT'S MADNESS!!! Timetable for the week (plus this week, today): Friday//4 September - chinese corrections - study physics - do chemistry homework (one sheet) Saturday//5 September - Celebrate my birthday (which, to my surprise, I'm not really looking forward to it) - study physics - revise all topics of biology Sunday//6 September - study geography - study physics Monday//7 September - got guzheng lesson at ARTS , 1pm - physics paper section A paper - math paper 1 paper - study geography - study more physics - play guzheng (6pm, song is "Chun Dao..") Tuesday//8 September - got guzheng in school, I think 1-3pm? - study geography - study physics - physics section B paper - math paper 2 - play guzheng (7.30pm, song is "si duan jing/jin") Wednesday//9 September - math paper 3 - study chemistry - study geography - distinction in english pg 197, including summary - play guzheng (6pm, both songs) Thursday// 10 September - got guzheng ...
MANY TOPICS: *UPDATE* Composing: ( p.s. can't think of a title ) Intense starting, soothing, classical with a bit of tension here and there. Reason why I composed it? Well, it was the time when I was feeling really vexed, confused, fustrated . Almost to a point where I don't even know if that simple matter is right or not . Combination of family matters, friendships, relationships ... It's the part when I thought everything was at its place, but just then, trouble comes and destroy my so-called "happy ending " or moment rather . And when it happened so often then I go used to it . Felt so nonchalant towards it . Until God spoke to me, telling me of why I should SIT HERE AND SULK? Shouldn't I be seeking God's help?? Yeah, and so .. I did . And well, I'm halfway there, that's what I'm glad to say (: Yeapps.. but anyways, this song is about the tension .. yeah .. Inspired from many songs, but especially the one on my IT blog? haha . Don't ask...
Go take a LOOK O.O http://cw-vanessa2-27a.blogspot.com Oh well, I managed to finish my IT work. Unfortunately, I finished it today, 10.17pm T.T I hope she didn't notice . Anyways . I know the song's a bit emo . I was seriously rushing through it. HAHA . I wanted to added some more facts, but had no time -.-" Oh well, teach sure won't give extra time cos she actually wanted us to hand it in on Sunday before midnight . But our class managed to bargain! :D And so ... no excuses accepted, I guess .. ._. But hey, I spent like, hours one it kay!!! I mean the information ._. HAH . okay, nothing else . cya :D CHECKMATE! drAmAQUEEN .
BUSYBUSYBUSY - mugging . Oh mann.. past few days mugging like SIAO . Nearly fainted . The moment I was free, I immediately go to my bed (where I love to study at) and take out my notes, notebook, pens and correction tape out and start studying ......... I just finished doing a math paper I received today . It was REAL HARD . I squeezed out my brain juice you know that!! Sigh . Unfortunately, I couldn't answer like .. nearly half of the paper ._. Oh well, I shall just finish studying my bio then I can move on to physics tomorrow! (: OHOHOH!!I just remembered . Tomorrow I'm going out that WHOLE ENTIRE DAY ._. Going out with guof in the morning to buy teach's day present for gz lao shi, then afternoon, go bishan library with zoey to study/borrow book if I wanna? Then later at night going to the dance concert with YE people! (: Sigh .. Gotta study a LOT today ): JUST to make-up for tomorrow . Well, basically cos I planned according to.. "not-going-out-during weekdays...
I hate .. The new teachers that taught us this term . No one likes them . Mr Ng Eng Kee - English Lee lao shi - Chinese Ms Rebekah Tan - Geography Why.. you may ask . Mr Ng - English -Mark our comprehension as O lvl standard . -Didn't even tell us the comprehension test day. It was unexpected . -Didn't say cannot DON'T use the words in the passage, he didn't even tell us about it and just mark it wrong . No one mark, no half mark, NOTHING , zlitch! -Gave us about an hour lecture for how everyone faired for compre. test . I'm telling you, my class, probably excluding those who passed, those THREE, HATES Mr Ng and will remember him for LIFE ! Lee lao shi - Chinese -She's just such a petty teacher . -Extremely LOH SOH, worse than my ah ma . Twice as bad as her . -DARE TO FAIL MY LIAN BI . -DARE TO GIVE ME A 50 IN ONE OF MY ZUO WEN WHEN OTHER TEACHS GIVE ME 58, WTF . -Cos of her EXTREMELY irritating attitude and teaching, I flunked chinese . Failed overall chines...
I can't believe it . Wth am I doing?? .. .. ".. I want the answer .." I feel reckless & lethargic Lost in the city hungry and thirsty my mood is getting cranky where's my teddy ? I don't know what's what anymore . As soon as I heard my alarm, I sprung out of bed . I can't believe this .. I'm going to school . Not that I've been very long away from it anyways .. It's just last friday I didn't go to school . [Yes, now I'm feeling much better thanks to all of your prayers(: ] I quickly got changed and got ready for school . The usual routine again . My feet shuffled as I made my way up to my class . I hate this .. I hate this .. As soon as I got to my place, I dropped my bag and fell back onto my chair . To study? Or not to study ..? I'm confused .. I took out my breakfast and started on the crispiest side . Yeah, I was eating chicken pie . I walked around class, looking for interesting talks among small groups.. HAHA, just k...
Stressful . Life in school if like PRISON . I can't imagine how crazy it would be like when I step into sec 4 life .. Sec 1 .. Kinda slack . And once I'm used to it, Sec 2? Stress .. more stuff to study . Then mug a lot .. Then what? next year sec 3? More stressful . By the time I step into sec 4 life? I'm already DEAD . Tomorrow I'm getting back my math paper . I think I may get back my history and lit paper too . I'm not scared . I'm SAD . I knew I did badly, even after I've studied . I don't know .. It's like .. I understand the topic very well . But when I need to answer questions, my mind doesn't really link that well to the question . And everything seems like a mess . Like as if there's chaos in my little people in my brain that carry all my information of the subjects that I studied for . Sigh .. I guess I'm just not a academic person . Oh well, at least I still got music (: I'm gonna get another distinction this year (Grade...
YAY!! COMMON TEST 3 IS OVER!!! :D OH FINALLY!!! BUT .. I gotta start studying for EOY tomrrow T.T Sad life .. Sigh .. studystudystudy . I wonder what my life will be when I go JC or Poly .. Sigh . Anyways, I realise got two people sick!! Well ... one =.=" :OO!!! Nicholas is sick and we shall all pray for him!! :O Pray that his fever better not follow by cough .. then sore throat .. then flu ... OOO!!!! WHAT AM I THINKING!!! H1N1!!!LOLL . JK LAH . But really, he really sick . So everyone, let's pray for him even though he's a jerk :D Next, Jonathan . Uhh ... peanut allergy, right? And that's incurable . And ......? INCURABLE'S NOT IN GOD'S DICTIONARY!! :D SO, ANOTHER PERSON TO PRAY FOR!! (: OHOH! and me T.T I'm having bad headaches DD; Sighs . Anyways, I don't think anyone will read my blog except random viewers right ... Sighs . So unpopular . CHECKMATE! drAmAQUEEN .
LAST PAPER . "Our World , Our Earth " The coconut trees swaved As the water swoshed The birds in the sky rest in their nests while the other creatures of the dark side brawled Terror and destruction is the right words to fit it Tired and abandoned are those children When will the people see the need To shower love and to feed? No more smiles on their faces Pitying glances at their directions Shame and humiliation . Fossil fuels increased, Though there were lesser cars, Lesser heartbeats, Buildings torn apart, Birds making their homes in them Plants grew and grew and devoured even the tallest buildings It was very soon, animals and plants took over the world The reason I wrote that is because I feel that the world is going crazy! You know what I mean? Like, literally! I don't know how to put it, But all I can say is that it just became really crazy .. Anyways, tomorrow's my last paper, wish my luck! (: CHEMISTRY CHECKMATE! drAmAQUEEN .
Pulling through . Give a big sigh Lifting my hands up high Then shoulders drooping over sometimes I wonder Will I ever get there? I finally realise why it's so difficult to pass during streaming year . When Mrs Teo said that it's streaming, she said the papers would be a KILLER . Like, madness . Well, duh.. It's streaming year . What should I expect?? Today had math test and I'm like .. wth .. I have full confidence that I'll get full marks for my graph > 14marks . But I don't have full confidence that I'll get method marks for the ones I REALLREALLYREALLY don't know how to do .. Sigh .. Gosh .. I need a 34 to get A2 or A1 .. can't remember, I think it's A2 .. Out of 45!! Like, wth .. I'm freakin' out luh -.- MS GAN STILL SAID IT WAS GONNA BE REALLLLL EASY . YEAH, RIGHT . I'm gonna score for chemistry . I don't care, I'm aiming for 90!!! The test that Mrs Teo gave us today, was easy (as she said so) . But I only got 80% . ...
STUDIES A DREAD . Mann.. I sound so lazy xD Actually I've been studying a lot lately . Yeah, and slacking . But not as much nyya? I've got high expectations of myself this term if I really wanna go A class next year ): Look at it: ART - 65% CL - 65% D&T - 70% EL - 70% GEOG - 80% HIST - 65% LIT - 70% MATH - 75% ( I'm hoping for 80% though ) SCI (CHEM THIS TERM) - 80% ( or maybe 90% ) p.s. It's difficult, seriously ._. Sigh . What I really worry the most is D&T . JEE! I TOTALLY SUCK AT IT . crap -.- The reason why I can go online and blog now is cos I finished studying and I'm waiting for zoey to finish studying so that we can test each other :D Sigh .. Tomorrow's test is Geography and History . I seriously don't know why they can't put Geography and Literature together . WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?!? Two heavy subjects together: Geography & history together . Very suck- ish -.- Anyways, can't really do anything about it, yeah? Even the sch...
HYPPPERRRR!!! ((; Woke up a few seconds before alarm rang . I went to shut it up before he rings, so that I can wait for the second alarm to ring and not let my mum to come knock on the door on the first alarm . It's seriously annoying . I mean, when you're trying to catch some more sleep , yeah? Hahs . I quickly got dressed and washed up . Tied hair to the usual, the ponytail then pining up of the frinch . The usual routine every morning - clean orlie's pee/poo (most likely pee), give her food, change her water bowl, wash hands, drink ginseng prepare breakfast/help my mum to(if I do have time), put water bottle and breakfast in my bag, wear my shoes, open the door, leave with my mum ahead/behind me(most of the time, behind), lock the door, leave for school . I mean, C'MON! Dead-ROBOT-morning-routine life mannn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~__~ As I got into the car, I was wondering what excuses my group and I would give if we were not able to hand in the video in time . In the mean...
DAYDREAM . nightmare . I feel as if like I'm in a nightmare, a really, really, bad one . So bad, to the extent that I cannot open my eyes . Surely my senses are not failing me . I can feel it . I can feel that she's angry with me . I feel that my whole life's corrupting . I see depression in her eyes, I don't know what to do . GOD, HELP ME ); Woke up 3-4 seconds before my alarm at 5.57am . I couldn't sleep anymore, even though I slept at 12am+ the day before . I hear the door knock, and suddenly, a light shone quite brightly on my face . I opened my eyes to see a blur figure at the door, that pretty much faded off in less than 2 seconds . I rubbed my eyes and stretched . I changed and got out of my room with Orlie walking ahead of me . Combed my hair, tied it up, and headed to the toilet . I already had the feeling that it was going to be a moody day . Okay, maybe not that moody though . I fed Orlie and went out with my mum and she fetched me to school . As I got ...
Someone please wake me up from this nightmare! It's been a long time since form teach, Mrs Teo, came to school . Well, for a week .. Missing like.. 6 lessons of chemistry? Today .. AND today, we had to combine the today's 2 lessons with the 6 lessons that we've missed .. all in ...? FIVE WHOLE PERIODS, EVEN TAKING SOME TIME FROM MISS DONG 's lesson, lit . Mann .. seriously, five periods STRAIGHT?! It's just MADNESS . It's like, one period for experiments 4 and 5 . The other 4? Going through answers .. theory ... STILL GOT HOMEWORK . Geez .. EVEN NOW, my mind's filled with chemical equations .. General equations ... acids .. alkalis .. The VALENCY TABLE .. x.x And today did that experiment on alkalis .. Dunno what ammonia gas + water + salt ... give some STINKO smell . I mean it -.- The experiment was, by far, the most STINKIEST one I've ever smelt . Oh, and I had to feel it too .. soapy feeling .. gross . Oh well, I go to go bathe orlie now! ((: CHEC...
FORGETFUL! AH! UGH! HOORAY! AHHH!!! I thought I was, but I guess I wasn't .. Had summary test today . GAWSH?! Like, totally forgot . Mom smsed me that there would be no guzheng lesson tomorrow . HOOORAYYY!!! I was SOO waiting for that!! Well, I mean, it IS fifth week anyway . p.s. fifth weeks are free days of practice! xD Still reading the books . Upcoming literature unseen prose tomorrow . Gawsh .... x.x Sigh, just yesterday had headache .. until today )): Oh well . WISH ME LUCK! (: CHECKMATE! drAmAQUEEN .
BOOKWORM @.@ I feel SO MUCH like a bookworm right now .. I've just borrowed two more books from the library . Okay, it really isn't the romantic neither is it that literature type .. It's kinda in the middle . There was one close to the geek type that I nearly borrowed until Nadia gave me that look =.=" Its title, "The immigrants" . The summary sounded so COOL . There were about two more books that I asked of Nadia's opinion whether to borrow or not . Well, they were either real stories, touching stories, mysteries or something really general . Then ... throughout .. she just gave me the > -.- look . WHAT?!?! I just LOVE reading those type of books kay!!! Apparently, I know, I still have 'Colour of Law' unstriked out =.= Well .. I'm busy reading a lot of books now . I just finished reading Avalon High . Was still reading New Moon . Was still reading Tommy sullivan . And the other books in my "wants" catergory? Gone .. somewhere ....
A little tired Honestly, had a day .. Okay, may not be the craziest days that I've ever known. Or experienced.. Had a " surprise " english compre. test today, super unknowingly..!! All thanks to Mr NG!!!! He did even inform us that there was even some test or whatever . Then it's like.. to our class's disadvantages ): Since, probably other classes - whom teachers weren't as late as Mr Ng - already started - at least - on time . Then had the boring 1h 10 min lesson of LEE LAO SHI's lesson . At least xiao lao shi is better than her . I even thought that lee lao shi was a relieffff teach., or an english teach .. whatever. But she wasn't. From that day she walked in, was so ironic..!! From a happy to a super glum PLEASE . Then very soon soon later, it was chemistry time - only, Mrs Teo didn't come today . I was rejoicing in my head 'cos my library book is due today, and I've YET to finish it! 'Cos during the past week, I actually lent it t...
I SLEPT SO EARLY YESTERDAY!!!(FRIDAY) I mean, seriously, WHO WOULD sleep THAT early as 8.15pm ON A FRIDAY NIGHT?!?!? I should be up studying or using the comp or something ... =.=" But anyways, if you ask me, I have no idea how I sleep that early either! I just wanted to rest awhile on my bed while my mum and sis took my Orlie down for a walk .. Then .. I just slept . I remembered waking up many times, but the first was when everyone was still awake, my mum was trying to wake me up to eat my dinner . But I just ignored her and slept >. I later realised that the air-con wasn't on!! Surprisingly, I was able to sleep =.= Then later I remembered I forgot to turn off my TWO ALARMS AT 5.57AM AND 6.10AM . Gawsh . DON'T EVEN BOTHER ASKING ME Y . And so, I woke up when the first alarm sounded and I turned it off and so, I rememebered still got 6.10am alarm .. Then turn off .. Then I went back to sleep -.- GAWSH - AM I A PIG . Woke up when I really could not sleep any longer - 8....
God's WORK!! Okay, I'm just gonna come clean on this first . I CAN FINALLY PLAY ALL THE THREE SONGS, WITH THE RIGHT SKILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL THANKS TO GOD!! MY SAVIOUR!!! ... For the past two weeks, (one week, one lesson) I've play TERRIBLY even for my favourite song, and duh - my most disgusting song ever .. For those two lessons, after they ended, I walked to my ah ma's house, then to eat dinner there, then go home on my own .. like .. a boring life .. and I keep thinking that I've become a failure .. seriously .. Then I prayed to God . I kept praying and praying ... UNTIL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just played finish, about 15 minutes ago I just stopped . I cried, I really did . GOD ANSWERED MY PRAYER!!!!!!!! I COULD DO IT ALL AGAIN, EVEN BETTER, ALL WITH ALMOST THE SAME STANDARD, (except the oldest song, 'cos I play it like, very long alr, so it's actually better one amongst the two) It's like, A MIRACLE!!! I DIDN'T EVEN PRACTISE THE WHOLE WEEK, COS I KIN...
BIG HECCCKK OF A DAY ;; Was really tired today . But somehow, woke up at 6am, ON THE DOT . Then went to school .. Sigh .. rained, so I brought my jacket . It was reallllyy cold . Waited for zoey until got chased by security guard who told me to just go up . zzz .. Then cos I was the only one out of the rest of the PL lites who wore a jacket, Mrs Chong was like, "Hey, you okay?" Then I was all, "Yeah ........" Waited for zoey at the classes' pigeon holes ... Jelene came awhile later and waited with me . Then went to staff room to meet teachs. Then zoeyy saw Ms Tan, talk to Ms Tan .. Then I odd one out -.- So I walk, turn (to the right, it's a right-turn) and stayed there till the both of them were done talking .. Went up to class, wrote down the dates (in full > 23rd)>of july .. You know .. during silent reading, went around the school to give the ice-cream sticks . We splitted up . Jo, zo and me took charge of giving it out to the sec 2s, 4s and 5s .....