lil-dango

Hisashiburi!

2012-01-28T11:58:00.002+08:00

Hisashiburi!

I know it's been a long while since the last time I posted, so I shall reward you guys with three videos today! which shall be posted at the end of my post(:

Hmm.. a little update on SERVE and CNY celebrations! For SERVE, I've been having really so much fun with my group and it's just really wonderful to be in a group with everyone being so cooperative! :D Give thanks to God for that :D :D Well, as for the place for the mission trip my group will be going to, that would be Chengmai, Thailand. Yepp, it's in Northern Thailand I think...? At least, where we're gonna be..... teaching the students english/eq/stories of Jesus Christ. During the mission trip prep, we've been playing certain games which help us to learn about facilitation and help us to find out more about our eq, and yes, know more about our friends(: I thoroughly enjoy the games played during the meetings and realise there's really so much about eq that I had no idea about! :o Well, I'm really looking forward to that mission trip! :D :D 12-17 Mar if I'm not wrong!(: (:

Well, and just yesterday my group and I went to marina square after SERVE to have a really really filling lunch then followed by playing pool then watching the movie, Jack and Jill. At the end of the day we were so tired, and decided to just take a half-group photo (some left already) and head home(: haha! btw I really recommend you guys to go watch that movie! Really really humorous and heartwarming :D :D :D

As for my CNY celebrations, I would say it's very much less tiring than the past years. I could still remember the last time (pretty long ago) where my family and relatives (my dad's side) had to go for dinner out on both days I think. And right after, head over to my family's place to watch a movie and relax till 1am+ ... And as compared to that, this year's was very much less tiring :p I guess it's not only due to the less houses we visited, but the lesser number of people in the house at one point of time, also the time of our stay at each house we visited. Glad to say I enjoyed myself very very much, and also learnt how to play mahjong!!! hahahha a bit that is :p

Okies! so now it's time to show you guys the vids! But before that, just a little description of em.. The following vids are created by this guy called TED (I think.. hahaha me and my bad memory :p) and he gathered a few thousand videos of people singing different parts of this song and did some edits here and there like when the people come in.. it's really amazing because these people have no idea who they are singing with, for the people are all over the world and what they actually do is to look at the score, and the conductor, and record their voices in youtube. Then they will take the vids that people recorded/video-ed themselves and put it together and viola! A Virtual Choir! Yes, and as for the first vid, it's the ver first time this guy actually made this virtual choir so successful. The second vid is about this girl, whom, out of dunno how many vids, was chosen for this particular part and yep, you'd have seen her in the the first video(: Beautiful voice I tell you! :o :o Well, as for the third vid, it's another vid they produced, the second song, if I'm not wrong(: whoo! that rhymed :p :p

Ah well.. enjoy! :D :D

~

Fries!

2012-01-18T19:38:00.002+08:00

Fries!

Yep, fries! today just made some fries and cooked it in our very own, airfryer! hehehee not bad actually, no need oil to cook, just air(: hmm.. apparently because there's no oil involved... I can't seem to get the salt to stick to the fries =.= so the fries kinda taste funny.. maybe I should put a small bowl of salt and dip the fries in it before eating :p more effective? hehe!

Well, today in SERVE we talked about the first half of the beatitudes (Matt5:3-7). And it made me think about the incident I had recently.. It's not easy to forgive even when the person sort of put you through much pain after all. But I'm still learning to do so(: I was pretty glad to be able to share more about my personal life and not be embarrassed about it.. I still have problems speaking up & out loud so whenever I do, I still blush at the end =.= gah, gotta overcome my nervousness some day :s oh well, at least I know I'm not alone :p hmm...

Today was a pretty tiring day.. But thankfully I brought my m&ms in a jar! :D hehe can't keep for too long, cos the choc will melt and all of the m&ms will look moldy and eeky and... :s :s Oh well, I'll finish it by this week......... erm.. hopefully. :\

My journey back home was really dreadful, I felt like I was practically dragging my feet all the way back =.= gah.. And since it was a really tiring day, I gave permission to myself to sit in the train all the way back home from outram park station, that is. ah.. and when I was finally home and wanted to just plop to my bed, I had to bathe cos I was all sticky and eeky -_- sighs.

Oh! a little update on orlie (random) :D She's doing fine now and I'm glad that the crystals in her kidney didn't get stuck there to form stones or anything and she's out of any pain or danger for now(: Well, she's on medication, but just to reward her a little bit for being brave, my mom and I bought some "canned dog food" for her. One was called "Veal Supreme", the other was something about Beef. Well, since she can't eat chicken or underground food, it was pretty hard to look for something suitable for her that she can enjoy.. But I guess beef's no harm(: Today just gave her the second half of the Beef one (I mixed it with her dog food). yumyum~

Oh well, i think after I'm done with my fries, I shall go drink some soup and that's all for dinner (beancurd + fries + soup) today! haha whoa. :p

SERVE

2012-01-11T22:25:00.002+08:00

SERVE

It's the second day of SERVE and I must say, I quite like the new environment here. Everyone was so nice yesterday, all smiles and ready to serve, literally.(: But I guess there's still the new environment feeling as always... Today felt a bit... estranged.

Well, a lot of things went through my mind today, but despite that, it didn't stop me from learning. I was so inspired by what Steve shared today. He's not a pastor or anything, just a church member, but he's gone to speak to many people - around my age or a little older - for the past few years. Today we learnt about our identity in Christ which is how God sees us. After the teaching, we were given questions and to answer them as we do qt in some comfortable and quiet and less distracted area. I think I found mine... shall go there tmr again.. Hmm.. Well, I would say I got a little bit distracted. But nonetheless, God was gracious and allowed me to learn something from the distraction.

And the lesson is.. I guess I realise the difficulty of standing up for what I believe in, for what I believe is right. That’s because today somewhere at the back of my head there were tiny doubts and a fear that gripped my heart. I was afraid because I lack the bible knowledge to so called, “back-up” my statements. I was afraid I’d stray from God because the person would’ve won the argument and leave me with a deep impact/impression there of something I know is untrue, but have got nothing to prove it. It made me realise how important bible knowledge is. If I couldn’t stand up for what I believed in which was right properly with good bible knowledge, how will I assure myself that my faith would not be shaken when encountering the same thing in the future?

Well, one thing for sure is, I’ll never give up. I’ll continue to seek God and ask Him for forgiveness for today and the discipline to read the bible, for it is part of serving God after all; bringing people to Christ. As a servant, devoted to God, called by God, I am willing. And I will do whatever God wants me to do, to fulfill my purpose in life, to fulfill God’s will in my life, as an action of love, as a devoted servant of Christ, as a devoted child of God.

As for the previous two paragraphs, they were from my SERVE journal. You may not really understand the full picture, but I'm sure you'll get the gist of it. Yupp, today's important lesson (at least for after the teaching): very important to read the bible, to gain biblical knowledge, so that your faith would not be - easily - shaken.

(I will) "..stand firm in all the will of God, matured and fully assured."
- Colossians 4:12.

Half full

2012-01-07T19:10:00.002+08:00

Half full

I'm on the road to majoring in music! :D well, getting ready for the big day sure is pretty tough, but I guess music has once again calmed me down for sure(:

Did some productive stuff today.. did some laundry, clean orlie's pee on the floor, help someone with chording (and yay i identified the key correctly! :D), played some random piece on the piano... watch anime, playing tetris...... whoooooa! loads of stuff there :p Was supposed to tutor anna today but something came up suddenly so had to cancel tuition for today. :s

Well, I'm trying to look at things positively nowadays, I guess making that effort really is helping me with my anger issues. Yes, I have anger issues..... :\ hmm.. I feel much better also actually (: Focusing less on what's not very important and focusing on what really is made me feel really great today(:

Ohh! I watched a movie today too! by myself ._. Hmm.. the title of the movie's called "Water For Elephants".. Yup, it's a pretty old movie, but it's my first time watching it. The leader of the circus, August, is the cruel guy in the movie. He tortured Rosy the Elephant in one scene): Well, I really loved the ending(: One of the very few movies with a good ending :D I would recommend this movie to those who've yet to watch it(:

hehehee and now I'm addicted to the cookies Auntie Marie baked :D hehe ben! the petals of the cookies all falling off alr :p hmm.. next time must keep practicing then can make nicer flower patterns on the cookies :p well, they say 3rd time's the charm, so we've got two more tries! >:)

okay, I have no idea what I just said.

good day, peeps!(:

False Testimony

2012-01-05T23:27:00.003+08:00

"False Testimony.."

it echoes through my head.

Sigh. Why was I even bothered by it? It feels like I'm walking in a desert, tired, hungry, thirsty and my heart's filled with an impossible hope.

I feel like I'm in a battle, fighting against my opponent - the devil - but it's attacking me in areas where I can't retaliate, or even block. And it's even cut me deep. But you would say..

Those who know Him would say..

"Where's God?"

I'm not saying He's not here, but rather, I am - in a way - ignoring Him, not wanting God's help. Well, that's what people would think from the outside. It's not that I deliberately do so, but more so that I don't know how to let God deal with my daily battles in life.

Remembering that Jesus died on the cross for ALL our sins wasn't enough. I needed to let go. Letting go is something I find so hard to do. Letting go of people you love, people you hate, your past, present, future, even letting go of possessions. I keep thinking, how do people just let go of everything they hold so close to their hearts, to God? I'm not saying I don't trust Him, but I just don't. know. how.

It's funny that people just give me the look when I tell them I learn a lot from watching anime..

Maybe after reading this, you might just change your mind and to those who love watching anime, appreciate it even more. Luffy. I've been spamming this anime (One Piece) ever since last week after a long break.. He doesn't seem to care very much about anything except food and becoming a Pirate King. Even when he's in danger, he eventually wins with his strong will. He can be stubborn and playful at times, but when it comes to battling, in a way, testing him, he becomes serious. Now why am I telling you all this?

I just had the thought of becoming just like Luffy. Fun & playful, just like a little kid. Innocent. I remember the Bible mentioning about being like a child. I think about the times when I hoped I knew less of the knowledge of the world and just be confined to the thought of fun & love, and all the positive things. Innocence. The part where he doesn't care? I really wish I can be like him.. who wouldn't even care less about negative thoughts or the bad side of things even in the toughest situations.. After all, he had a goal, and that is to become Pirate King. What is our goal? Well, mine is to be the serve the Lord wholeheartedly, being a good and faithful servant. Luffy, of course, would need nakama specialised in different things like medical, food, etc.. to reach his goal eventually. Just like how I need the basic necessity - the Bible - to achieve my goal. And of course, last but not least, the important one we both share: the will.

Strength of it... it just starts from this very question: Are you willing?

It's only a Yes or a No.

And I couldn't continue my thoughts after that..

~~~

Results are released on 9 jan, next mon at 2pm. (O lvls)

Do pray for me yeah? I'm getting a little anxious, just a general feeling I guess.

Living by God's grace

2012-01-03T21:10:00.002+08:00

Living by God's grace

I used to think it was easy to live by God's grace.. until there was a sudden change in my attitude and behaviour towards things, people.. I then began to condemn them, people, myself, more and more each day; how things should be so and not like whatever the person is doing. I became bounded by the laws, which made me realise what I did was unnecessary. I'm saved by God's grace, not works. The day came when I realised of my actions, my wrongdoings, I realise how difficult it is to ask for forgiveness and truly live by God's grace. I found it hard to get back up after falling.

But I'm glad God's love saved me. Yesterday when I was doing my qt, or rather, before I started, I reflected and prayed about myself. How strangely God reminded me, right at the point of time, the story of the prodigal son. I burst into tears immediately upon thinking of God being so forgiving. I was reminded of how I shouldn't let my past decide my future, or ruin it. I had to move on. The way God sees me, is much different from how I see myself. He remembers not my sins, but the good me. And that good me, IS me. Learning to focus on the positive is never easy, but the moment I remember about God's love, the moment I spoke to God, earnestly seeking Him in my time of need, there it was before me; I was no longer who I used to be. I felt renewed by the Holy Spirit and that was really wonderful.(:

Well, I'll do a little update on my life now. Firstly, so sorry I forgot about the video, I'll search for it and post it in the next post(: Secondly, the second song I composed, "Glorified", was played last week! :D Really happy to receive good responses and I feel very encouraged and motivated to write even more!(: (: I'm still really scared to share my testimony........ =.= maybe I should take like a week to prepare next time.. :s gah still, so scary to speak in front of.......how many people?!?!?!?!??! =.= =.= =.= =.=""""""

Thirdly, it's... 7 days to result day!! Excited/anxious/I-dunno type of feelings all within me. I hope I won't do too badly.. ): gah I'm so scared, yet anxious to know if I did better than expected =.= oh! I still remember the deal I made with Paul. If I didn't get a 6, he'd treat me to lunch. But I'm kinda preparing for that already, unless there really was a miracle that I get an A1 for my combined humans - which, is HIGHLY IMPOSSIBLE. lol.

Lastly, I've been doing some tutoring and schedule's getting pretty tight with tuition every day from tomorrow on, making a trip down to school tmr afternoon to assist my juniors with the percussion song: Lao Hu Muo Ya, then lunch on thurs with people who've signed up for SERVE, and friday, heading to Ben's place to relax~ Still not sure of the schedule on saturday and sunday, but may have tuition on both days too :s I'll try I'll try =.=

Yupp, that's about it.... gah. I need the SERVE schedule soon. Might need to do a lot of rescheduling, etc......

Well, I guess that's all for this post!(:

Long post

2011-12-28T09:13:00.002+08:00

Long post..

I guess it's really been ages since I'd last blogged huh :p

Well I'll make it up to you by posting a really long one today. First up: my trip to Cambodia!

I thought it was pretty surprising when I first stepped out of the airport in phnom penh cos the weather was pretty cold! Like.. 22-23 dc? (Well that's what the board thingy said).. We stayed there for a day before heading to Takeo to start on our mission!(: Made many friends from the people in Phnom Penh (CCOP aka the church there) and really, they're so nice. Look at singapore? sigh...

We started with hairwashing! then..

headed to the first village on the second/third day - a bumpy ride indeed =.= But I guess it was all worth it when we got to see the people there. They performed for us and it was heartwarming to see them sing and dance their hearts out for us.(: We did the puppet show and then there were some teachings/skits by CCK (the church we're working with) and sermon while we gather the children elsewhere to distribute some food, etc after teaching them some A&C(: Heard it's the first time people have gone there to give them stuff and share about the gospel. Many hearts were touched and so were mine when an old lady came to me and hugged me and kept thanking me. It was really encouraging to see that our efforts paid off(:

After the first village, we visited the second one, probably further away from the church in Takeo. Gah.... bumpy ride again =.= I remember Oum found a snake near the river.. I think it was Oum.. I can't recall much :p After all, it's been some time after the trip already hehee :p We did the same thing for the second village, as well as the third.. except that for the third, it was pretty short.. I think there was no sermon ... only teachings... I think..... I THINK.

Well, as we were about to leave, some villagers invited us to try some of their local food! Yumm.... sweet sweet .... um.. I forgot what's the name of the dish :x But it looks like laksa, except that it's not hot, and it's sweet :D We also tried some red banana "wrapped" with glutinous rice around it. Whoa.. super filling.. O-O I also remembered [sarcastic tone] being called "mother" and my mom, "daughter". or being referred to one of age as SOMEONE thought my mom was my sister...... Credits go to Jimmy Mk.

Well, I can't remember what really happened for the rest of the days, but I remembered the performance we put up at the church(: It was the time I played my ku chehhhhng (guzheng) hhahahhaa :D I was really happy and honoured to be playing for them. I was doing the what God wanted me to do after all.. And to me, it felt like all the 10 years of learning guzheng finally paid off in those few minutes. :D :D :D The dance by CCK was pretty fun and so people from CCOP were trying to learn the dance at night :p

Hmms.. After the performance on that day, before it turned dark, we took a walk outside the church and pass some padi fields.. the azure sky was so beautiful.. It was way better than the ones I see in postcards.. It's like super HD and the sunset was so beautiful.. oh wait, now I'm spoilt by a thought that I fell off a bicycle -.- eh-hem.. well, on the way there, Fee Nee (from CCK (sg)) decided to ride a bicycle there and I sat behind.. but along the way, the sand got way too soft, increasing the level of difficulty to paddle. Then.. we lost balance cos I kept screaming because it was shaky and then we fell -.- haha apparently Jimmy was behind then he held on to my left elbow as if I'm some handicap person till we reached the padi fields, then he rode ah ghui to some hill o.o hehe and naughty Nigel was busy chasing the ducks into the nearby river :p and they go quaaaAAAAAAACCCKKKKKKKKQUACK QUACK QUACK.... Hehe for the first time I saw so many ducks, so united.. so.. so... so CUTE!!!! :3

Anyways, on the last day, we all went shopping~ hehe russia market sell super cheap stuff. next time must go there again and buy more clothes :p :p btw, it's cheap AND has good quality. Okay, maybe not very very good, but still, the cloth is super soft!! T-T hehehehehheee yeah..... shopping while on a mission trip..... all part of the package! :p :p

Well, I wouldn't say I've learnt blah blah blah because I think there's really a lot of things that God spoke to me during the trip and it's really amazing, these new feelings He'd placed within me, it's.. undescribable.. (:

Camp's up next! Being a faci in a camp for the first time was pretty huge stress.. But I guess I was fine :D It was really encouraging to see that they're so cooperative, fun and open.(: Really makes things easier for us facis. :D Haha well, if there's a standard answer to what I've learnt, it's to be able to manage awkward silences.

I didn't get to participate in some games for my digestion system was failing me, apparently.. talking about that.. I don't know why my tummy hurts again =.= or is it my intestines..... argh. Have yet to see a doc about it. I hope it's nothing major ): But never in my life did I experience this for so long.. it's like.. been a week plus! :s

Well, I better end this post soon... so sorry it's not as long as what I wanted to type.. but I think I really need to go to the toilet again... soon =.= =.= =.=

okay.. now. hmm.. more updates in the next post! ohoh and a vid on virtual choir! :D :D

FYI

2011-12-08T00:02:00.002+08:00

FYI

It's been pretty long since I'd last posted :p

Well, for this post it's just gonna be informative... Pretty busy this december.. Events involve going to cambodia next week, YE camp, CCIS perf, and giving a math tuition all the way in the west.......

So.. with all these events taking place this december, there're loads of preparation and for now, I think I need to buy some three quarts for the cambodia mission trip.. oh, and practice the songs on my guzheng - which I'll be playing for the people there.. Also need to finalise the score for ju hua tai, by Jay Chou (on guzheng) for CCIS. Need loads of prac too, of course. Then the preparation for a math tuition.. I guess for now I just need to pick up some skills of tutoring :p and also revise on the topics..

phew! okay that sounds like a lot... :\ Really worried for my precious guzheng - which I've been practicing on for nearly 10 years now - though.. Hope the "airport people" will take EXXXXXXXTREEEEEEMMEEEELLYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOD care of it T-T Seriously, if anything happens to it, I'm sure to cry for days and nights.

Well, other than these stuff... I'll be enjoying most of my leisure/break time with ben! :D

As for a little more update of my life.. I've started on Book 3 of Psalms a week ago...? yupp, and do hope that I can learn much more from it :D Also need to find time to go frame up the egytian puzzle I completed many many many days ago :p

Alright! that's all for today's post.. shall get some sleep soon......

Open eyes

2011-11-29T02:07:00.003+08:00

Open eyes

The soft, pale fingers
tracing from the edge of the sheets
She walks clumsily, yet steadily,
To the end of the bed she meets

Stale and still,
the wind became weak
A wish yet to be fulfilled
now slowly disappearing

What did she have left?
What hope did she have left?
All was gone
All was gone.

The wine-glass in her hand
A teardrop descended
In the milliseconds
Pictures in her mind played like a film

Gone in a flash
Gone in a dash
What was left of her?
Nothing more horrendous,

the crazy bell
constantly ringing in her mind
no one she could tell
Everyone was blind

Ripples formed
Like a disaster taking place
She crumbled to bits
She hid her face

Tears streaming down
Memories flowing back
A fixed frown
and a hunched back

Nothing was & Nothing could ever be
worse than The horrendous
Regret.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Cambridge dinner 2011

2011-11-23T21:56:00.002+08:00

"PROM"

Wheee~ I'm back from prom! (held yesterday at goodwood park hotel) :D :D hehe apparently ours wasn't called prom cos we wanted to be special so it's now known as Cambridge dinner (:

Preparation was pretty chaotic and impromptu but I guess it all turned out well and I saw many pretty pretty gals during c.d. night! :D Our ex-ex-principal, ex-principal and current principal as well as the sec 4 teachs came down that day to celebrate with us(: Took many photos and ate a lot .... ohohohoh! and they served my favourite fish! O-O ....... of which its name I had forgotten .............. :p

Well I had a really satisfying dinner and great time with my friends that night :D hahaa partying like crazy and took loads of photos........ which can be found on fb(: hmmm.. ohoh! and I'd learnt how to play daidi too! Won my all-time-thrashers-of-the-game friends on the third go at the game :p hahaa... after which I got thrashed countless times ._.

Oh well, what matters is that I really really had fun :D hehe really happy that I got to look really glam for once :p

ok! Up next, the events for the week.

I've got... class chalet tomorrow, for a day, not gonna be staying. And it's gonna be at changi! yayy same place where YE chalet was held at last year :D haha don't think it'll be the same unit though. For friday, I've got nothing on till the evening where I'll be in church attending the cambodian mission trip meeting.(: Gotta think of more games for the youths there and gotta work hard on the songs I'll be playing for them there. So far I've only found As The Deer, and composed (guzheng notes) the verse only. Have yet to touch the link to the chorus and the chorus.. I think there's a lot of practice that we gotta start doing as well, like the puppet skit and skit(s), etc.

As for saturday, I'll be attending Leaders' Retreat in the morning, slack in the afternoon and probably....... have dinner with Tigris? I hope there will be... otherwise I'd probably be stoning at home or going window shopping around nex alone):

Sunday.. service?(:

Yupp, that's all for this week peeps! Peace ouuttttt!

Mirai

2011-11-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

Mirai
BY MIHO FUKUHARA

Lazy to blog ;p

Not even

2011-11-12T12:49:00.005+08:00

Not even

Now not even soft toys
not even beef steaks
not even turquoise
not even breaks

Not even honey
not even games
not even movies
not even photo frames

not even music
not even veggietales
not even comics
not even funny e-mails

not even videos
not even orlie
not even cellos
not even brownies

not even piano
not even guzheng
not even a rainbow
not even singing

not even drawing
not even painting
not even designing
not even sighing

not even these
not even those
not even you
not even me

can breakaway what I feel now..
nothing can.
no one can.
no, not even anybody.

p.s. this is just written to vent out certain emotions.

Almost to the end of Os

2011-11-11T22:55:00.002+08:00

Almost to the end of Os

Finally, the time has come to feel the freedom of secondary education and have a taste of the real world.

Os are just ending and although I must say, I've been enjoying myself, having my fair share of total boredom and being like an emo kid watching movies by myself at home.. :\ And of course, able to be more free and open and happy, able to do Qt more calmly, be more relaxed and spend more time with Ben(:

But just when Os are ending, a lot of things (as they seem up to that amount) are piling up on my to-do list and some things that are too much for me to bear or go through.

Sigh, let's just say I'm feeling really emo now and although I've been really happy in the morning, I'm just suddenly so upset. 11:11 passed a few minutes ago and I'm supposed to be happy, enjoying the "exotic" experience in a lifetime or something. And yet, here I am fuming at all the new stress, fuming at my dog for always wanting to come in and go out of my room and scratching the door and barking. I'm just feeling so paranoid I kept shouting at my dog "no" and since it didn't work for the first few times, I'd just either shout even louder or keep quiet and let her bark.

Couldn't stand it. I just kicked her bed out and locked the door.

so. fed. up. ugh.

hate niageria falls.

More vids! :p

2011-11-09T23:36:00.001+08:00

More vids! :p

Vids + post!

2011-11-04T14:09:00.002+08:00

Cant wait!!

2011-11-04T13:07:00.002+08:00

Can't wait!!

Simply can't wait for O levels to end!! :D :D

I've heard shocking news about the bell curve for e&a math going up to as high as 93 and 80+......

wow -.-

Well I'm done with most of my papers and I must say I've conquered it! :D Well, although I might not get my desired results, I know I've done exceedingly well, even better than prelims for sure :D And so happy! Today ss sri lanka came out for seq and birth rate in sg came out for sbq!! wheee both studied the day before :p Can't believe it, but ss is my worst subject, and this time I really feel confident of passing. I hope I dont fail ....... seq was really easy I think. At least for the first question :p The second question not sure but I did my best to answer both of them. I mean, the entire paper. wahahahhahahahhaaa okay I'm going nuts =.=

Ah.. first time I'll get to relax and have a long break before school (don't know where yet) starts next year.. Looking forward to the future and I really hope I get my A1 for a math cos I've been studying really hard for it.. ): ):

Hmm.. up next week (wed) is my second last paper: Human Geog. 4 qns choose 1. eeek! development please please come out as full qn T-T hehehheee okay .. only had time to blog today. Starting tmr must mug for wednesday already, but definitely less intense(: (:

cya! :D

ohoh and all the best for the rest of the papers sec 4/5s! :D

Science Practical

2011-10-20T14:46:00.002+08:00

Science Practical

How did it go?
I would say it's quite manageable.. but let's not talk about it.

I think I'm more depressed than ever to receive news about the auditions for music and dance for in 2012 closed. I was depressed for like 3 hours plus until I came home, e-mailed them, checked their website (wow. it's new.) Then realised it's actually 2011. But it's for diploma and degree courses....... which are.. all? Well, I browsed their new website and realise there's a lot of info added to it, of which some were just intimidating. The thought about overseas people auditioning to enter the school gates of NAFA.. *cringe*

There were a lot high qualifications required as well. Not only for overseas applicants, but for the auditions. I was quite frustrated and mad when I found out I needed to prepare two pieces. Earlier they never even stated a single thing about the auditions/tests. Only now when I read it up, I need 2 contrasting works. Sigh, I don't even need to carry on. I don't even know how to talk to my parents about this. Pray is number one of course, career ain't my life, I know.

Sigh. All I know is, I'm just gonna work hard for my O levels. JC life is out for me, so I gotta start picking out more courses in polys that I'm interested in. Definitely got to do with music - since I might give up my plans on going to nafa anyway, sigh, but not confirmed.

Forget it, talking about this won't do any good either.

Today was productive. At least in the 4 hours. Completed an a math paper in an extremely noisy classroom and marked it. Not counting the graph question, I got 70 marks I think. Lost 2 marks to a question. Was having a really bad headache so didn't get to complete the second question.

After we were released I came home, and so, right now.. I think I should go prepare my lunch. I'm starving.

Two things ended today

2011-10-07T23:25:00.005+08:00

Two things ended today

Alas! It's time,
the time has come
to say goodbyes
and cry, for some

Sign my autograph book
Would you please?
The memories clicked in the pen,
neatly swivelled on paper for their friends

For times flies,
And our train rides
have arrived
we get on

But one thing to add
before we get on the train
Before we part
filled with hope we'd meet again

A great time I had
spent here in the sheltering walls of PL
Thank you my friends, for your company,
All the best for your Os, & do it well!

:D :D :D

~

Today marks the END of the - nearly - 4 years of my life as a PL lite.

I didn't cry, neither am I surprised about that. Well, we'd still be seeing each other during our O lvl papers which is pretty soon .... :s And besides, there's cambridge dinner after that(: Oh right! yeah, that, cambridge dinner = prom. It's somewhere in orchard and the theme's PL Oscar's. or without that " 's ". Well, we had the baccalaureate service and majority of the sec 4s partook in the holy communiun. I was really touched to see so many queueing up and waiting for their turn. It took almost 40 minutes! Of course, I guess methodist is pretty different in a sense where they pray for us each time we drank the "wine" and ate the wafer. And the "wine" is actually "grape juice". And I think it was due to the shortage of pastors (there were only two), the teachs gave us the wafers and the "wine", aka grape juice. By the way, the grape juice is really nice. I should ask them where they bought it or something :p (hope that didn't come across as an insult.. erm.. :s)

Well, our teachs also really showed us their love and support for us. We could really tell by the efforts they put in into helping us and guiding us along the way in our studies. They'd even made two vids! :o The 2nd vid consisted of slides of messages to the different classes and CCA groups. The 1st vid was really the best. You guys remember the dunno which beer advert where the ladies screamed when they entered a room full of shoes and the next scene was the guys entering a room full of that beer? hahahhahaha epic that one! Well the 1st video was something like that.

First, they show the part about the ladies screaming. We were pretty high then and so everyone screamed along with them! Then the next scene was a group of teachs screaming and jumping around going crazy and pointing to a whiteboard with an A4-sized paper on it saying, "O & N level results." SCREAMSCREAMSCREAM!! then we all just kept laughing and laughing. It was so epic! :p Then they started to show subjects like Math, Science, English, all 100% then with each subject they crazily pointed to, they screamed and jumped around like mad people :x Then when it came to Art at it was 99%, they all made sad faces and everyone was quiet. Then suddenly the teachers started jumping again and cheering and going crazy and everyone bursted out laughing like crazy :p :p

Many were really touched and tears just kept pouring out from their eyes. I remember I was looking at one of my classmates and just looking at her cry and with the music and with all that vid slides.. gwahhhh made me feel like crying too T-T

Well, I think I'm just not feeling much of it now since it's really not the "end", but I think I'll really cry my heart out during prom. bleh, then all the makeup will smudge and I'll look like an emo gal +_+ or even a disfigured clown! AHHHHHH!!! nononononooooooooo :\

haha, but all things come to an end.. ohoh I remember the chinese saying!
"天下无不散之筵席"
If I'm not wrong, it means all good things come to an end. I remember this was used in the example (sentence) given, talking about graduation and all that. heheee yay! I didn't forget chinese despite O levels ending a long long time ago :p

okay, a few months. ANYWAYS..

The other thing that ended today was my Brilliant Legacy show aka Shining Inheritance! The channel U 7pm show. Gahh.. I'm gonna miss my dongyi ): She's really really pretty and nice. At least, that's what her character is in Dong Yi and Shining Inheritance. Upright, integrity, pride in her role, honest, cute, funny, pretty. ahh~ Well the ending for Shining Inheritance was really really beautiful! Hehee I liked her part where the main male character, xiao-huan, brought Enxing (the dongyi girl) to a place where he had his last been to with his dad (before his dad passed on). And she was to fish, and He was to cook. Apparently, it wasn't really nice.. But when she ate it, she said it was delicious, never tasted something so delicious as that meal. He was really happy at first, then when he tried, he said the pumpkin tasted like porridge. And her reply was, "Well, mine's nice." AWWWWW!! you can't not aw to that can you :p :p

Sigh. it ended. I don't know what's gonna be my motivation to study everyday now ): hehe nah just kidding. But I think it will affect me quite a bit though. After all, I did look forward to that show every day :p Oh well. Time for the mini recent updates 3!

Mini recent updates 3:

- 3/4 done with physical geog and 2.8/4 done with human geog.
- almost 1/2 done with ss!!
- conquered A math. haha nah, just kidding. Found so part of kinematics I still don't understand. Trigo as well. Some questions I'm really not familiar with, but found in the A math tys. So gotta ask. a must must must!

Well, I guess that's it. Hmm.. and I'm gonna start revision mainly on eng, math, lit and science next week! After many weeks of concentrating on 2/3 of my humans, A math and a bit of science, and very little on the other subjects, I think I really need to start next week. Good thing I planned it out well.(: oh! and Os start... next next thursday. Science practical first, 8-9.30am. (But have to be quarantined till 1.30pm...... -.-) I'll be praying for all those taking Os this year and do keep me in your prayers too yeah :D :D

mini recent updates 2

2011-10-05T22:06:00.002+08:00

Mini recent updates 2

Here are the recent updates!

- done with 3/4 revision for geog (both human and physical)
- finally continuing with ss! case studies for governance and healthcare in SG and Britain.
- done with Book II of the Psalm! Moving on to Book III :D
- received 3 a math papers today. Done with 9 qns for one paper.
- feeling confident for coastal protection measures qns! (hard engineering & soft engineering)

NEXT NEXT WEEK MARKS THE START OF O LEVELS!!

SCREAMS.

mini recent updates

2011-10-02T00:59:00.002+08:00

Mini recent updates:

- Almost done with 2/3 revision for physical geog.
> more confident with topic on natural vegetation & rivers.
- Left one chap to study/prac for a math thoroughly.
- Done with 1.5/3 revision for human geog.
- Done with 1.3/2.5 revision for ss.
- Done with 1/4 revision for science.
- One more psalm left to go til the end of Book II in Psalms. (last of book II: psalm 72)

A few more weeks to the start of Os! jia you jia you jia you!!

MIA notice

2011-09-26T13:56:00.001+08:00

Hey guys so sorry haven't been blogging in such a long awhile :\ have been busy studying and studying.. Gah! And poor momo's been neglected for quite some time now too): oh well. Approximately two more months from now and I'll be blogging again! Til then, ciao~ :D

Toccata & Fugue in D minor ~ Bach

2011-09-08T18:09:00.001+08:00

Toccata & Fugue in D minor ~ Bach

Awesome Yodeling - 12 year old Yodel Expert!!

BGT FINAL -Paul Potts

Paul Potts Semi Final winning performance

Events of today

2011-09-07T23:10:00.003+08:00

Bored to tears

I probably didn't see this coming ..

At first I had a crazy-whacked dream about me buying m&ms in some small translucent, coloured, shiny and heart-shaped casing.. and funny there was some ball stuff inside =.= Then suddenly the scene changed to some meeting scene. It was just three people - me and some girl sitting across me and Ben sitting beside me. Apparently, Ben seemed like statue in there :p Hmm.. then for somewhat reason I got mad at the girl, got up, walked over, threw all the m&ms - which was suprisingly a lot - and stomped back, slumping into my chair. Then I became irritated when I heard barking and in the dream it was someone knocking hard on the door....

Then I woke up, orlie was barking -.- bleh.

Well, I ate mi goreng (the instant noodle one) and a slice of strawberry shortcake (yum!) for lunch while watching tv and doing a math :p Did pretty well today, completed quite a number of questions! :D Did some physics questions too. Had dinner with my mom at 9. We watched the million dollar drop show at 8 plus :D pushed dinner to 9 :p Hmm.. then I played piano awhile.(:

ohoh! not forgetting that I also wrote a poem. then sketch! then fb-ing! then... - supposedly - diary - now - but.. hehe shall finish up!

erm.. okay. got nothing. ohhh!! and btw, Thick N Creamy's banana caramel pie flavour's not that nice but sure did make me have a craving for banana fritters or banana split (the one with banana coated in glazed caramel and chocolate!!) yumyumyum!!! I want a banana split now now now! :\

Sweet 16

2011-09-06T23:32:00.003+08:00

Sweet 16

Really wanna thank you guys (Ben, Regina, Zoey, Amabel, Jelene & all my other friends) for remembering my birthday and really surprising me with all the gifts :D :D It's the first time I've received such a humongous bear to hug (hehe thanks dear :D), first time I've tasted Ben's mom's delicious butter cake, first time that my two dear friends (Zoey & Regina) surprised me with gifts and my favourite strawberry shortcake right at my doorstep and first time that my two other dear friends (Amabel & Jelene) organised a baking session and surprised me with a pair of sneakers! yay! I can throw away my old one already :p

I'm really so thankful to have you guys and not forgeting the others who did remember my birthday and wished me. I feel so fortunate and blessed.. To see you guys doing all these, I just see God's love flowing through you guys as it's part of a way of God giving me my special present on my Sweet 16th birthday. I really appreciate these gifts and I'll treasure them dearly! :D :D

Well, I'm not really good and expressing my emotions in words, so I guess all I can say is..

A VERY BIG THANK YOU!! :D :D

~

Well, today's tuesday.. so that means I dont have to just talk about yesterday right :\

What happened in the day and night yesterday and today are like worlds apart. I don't mean to burst anybody's bubble - though mine's been "burst-ed" twice.. - but I really need to get this off my chest. I'll keep the details confidential.

Yes, I have absolutely no idea what it's like to be a firstborn because I'm not one. I'm upset because of that because I can't relate to her, I can't fully relate to her and it's making me so upset because I can't do anything to help her. With her skeptical being built up since who knows when - she says it was 5 years ago, but it might've been longer - and her doubt in her parents to do better in understanding what she does, etc, it's making everything so difficult. Everything's all up to a higher level. But I've not been there, neither have I thought of being up there, so I do not know what words to use to say to her. The fact that I'm young = I'm inexperienced, and younGER, already shows that I can't be the one resolving this. Surely God has planned for someone else to intervene this.. but then again, I can't think of anyone else.

I truly love her for who she is and I really want to help her. I've said all that I felt I needed to say, and so I left the rest to God. She's not that different.. not the typical kind I actually stereotyped them to be. She's different because I know she still loves God, but she's blinded. I can't do anything.. That's right, I cannot do anything. Or rather, I can't say or physically do anything to change the situation. But at least I can pray. And prayer is powerful. Don't think when I used the word "at least" I'm de-ranking its power. In fact, prayer just might be the key solution to resolving this! but then again, I know that God is a loving God and He knows what's going on. Only He knows what's going on in her mind and therefore only He knows the solution. I just hope that He can assign me to do something to help Him carry out His plan..

Oh well. my arms are getting numb so I guess I'll leave it like that. cya peeps!(:

Held close

2011-08-27T00:04:00.002+08:00

Held close

Held close
For all that's worth
Burying my nose
Partially concealing my mirth

Time standing still
As I hear the heavy-to-light thumps
All of it is real
It Is real, It is Autumn

Grasping tightly,
Taking a deep breath in
And letting it out shakily
Thoughts of chagrin running through my mind

Eyes closed,
Removing the frowns
My body in repose
But felt like breaking down

Flying and out
What's this all about?
The thumps I was hearing
but now feeling

Within me
That little creature hides
Haunting me consistently
But its words I will not abide

For where all lust lies
Away with them
This time, right here, right now, time flies..
Being loved, where I am
Held close in your arms.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Lazy

2011-08-26T17:04:00.002+08:00

IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY! :D :D

THE LAZY SONG

God's realness to me.. Worthy to be praised.

2011-08-19T20:18:00.003+08:00

God's realness to me.. Worthy to be praised.

As you guys might've already known, yesterday was the release of the GCE O level Chinese results. It was also the start of my prelim 2 and I had English yesterday. All that'd happened really made me feel God's presence & guidance.

Well, to start off the day yesterday, I had my English paper 1. It was very first time I had written a compo that I felt was good + good handwriting! Very satisfied with that! :D Well, the topic I chose was "Time". I wrote a typical story of passing time etc, with relation to my major exams and so on. Well, as I read that title, the first thing that came to my mind was, "Things will come to pass." And indeed it did. I felt that God was speaking to me right at that moment. No, it wasn't just an idea on what to write about, but more of an encouragement.

Compre and summary was next. It was like the first time I could actually answer the vocab questions with some confidence :o Then I had to sacrifice a point for my summary.. oh well :\ I hope that's a redundant point. Moving on, it was about 12pm+ and the teachs were just about to count the papers they'd collected. Ms Yoong - our principal - appeared on stage, holding a microphone. Everybody started gasping. Ms Yoong told us the overall statistics and it appears that our cohort has done better than our seniors last year! yay! :D Well, I think that the Tamil studs did the best with the figures showing a huge improvement from last year :D :D

Class-by-class stats. more gasping. Crystal - classmate sitting in front of me - turned around and squealed, "I passed!!!! :D :D :D" I'm extremely happy for her and it would seem like a miracle that she did, so I'm really proud of her :D :D Yes, the stats for my class: 100% passes. The feeling of being extremely contented didn't last very long though. I was pretty much more worried for my oral in two hours' time. But I wouldn't say I was anxious either.

I was very happy with my results, I truly am. But the feeling slowly died down and what I kept telling myself was, "Okay, okay, now English prelims and the release of the results are over, I can fully concentrate on my oral now. deep breaths. deep breaths." A lot of my friends were crying; tears of joy.. disappointment.. extreme disappointment.. My classmate, denise, who got a B3, turned to me and said, "Eh, how come I don't have this reaction uh?"

"Beats me," I shrugged, "I don't have it either."

hehe, I wasn't depressed guys, no worries.(: After taking some deep breaths, I felt God's peace within me. And the song that I wrote played in my mind. I was at peace.

I was really glad anxiety didn't get to me. And it's something that I really thank God especially for yesterday. I would've had a major breakdown yesterday - who knows? But I know myself and I know that if I hadn't put my trust in God, I would have.

And so it was preparation for oral time. 1.23pm (about there). Walking down to the canteen. "Eh, need to bring entry proof and ic along anot ah?" Denise asked. "Eh....." Then I recalled.. the other time when I'd dropped my phone and wallet into the toilet bowl... I washed it and left it out in the balcony to dry........... CRAP! IT WASN'T WITH ME! 30 minutes. I ran out of school immediately. The roads were empty and it was difficult to get a cab. I prayed. really desperately hoping there'd be a cab.

1, 2, 3 minutes have passed and nothing..

It was about 1.31pm that an available cab drove pass and I flagged it franctically. Thank God again! I reached my place in about 5 minutes and ran home to get my ic and got back into the cab and headed back to school, reaching at about 1.45pm. I still had 15 minutes to spare, to calm down. Thank God indeed! :D

When we entered the hall, it was so quiet you could hear us breathing. We sat down with our pinafores covering our knees and hands folded, placed nicely on our laps. Many of us were whispering and I'll admit.. I was one of them :p I was so excited to get this done and over with. I wasn't exactly anxious, but I was feeling a little sense of happiness, that light-hearted feeling. Don't know what I was thinking, really. My oral examiners were the most cold-hearted-stone-faced. None of them smiled. Unlike the other three stations. I had a strong feeling I was gonna be questioned by the .. well, mean lady oral examiner from my station. And there I was having the light-hearted feeling =.= weird right? yeah I thought so too.

Calista and I were busy chitchatting for about an hour and our mouths were pretty dry. We even kept laughing about the two male teachs at the second station. One of them was a malay, quite handsome too :p So we laughed about that. The very first girl who'd the examiners from the first station was really dramatic and loud that when she was doing picture discussion and conversation, almost everyone kept quiet to listen and see if we could get some hints :p true enough we got some! Birthday cake.. grandmother.. for picture discussions and celebrations.. storybook.. for conversation. Well, up till now Calista and I still couldn't really fit storybook into the conversation though.. might've heard wrongly :p oh well.

Indeed the whole thing was about birthday celebrations, family and something about old age. Right, hear this, "Would you enjoy growing old? ... What are the advantages of being old?" what -.- These I did not hear. But I nearly laughed when the lady oral exminer told me about this. I can't really remember what I'd said, but I said something which made her smile at me and I was really shocked to see that. The male examiner kinda boosted my confidence a little when all he did was to give me the qian bian face, the ignorant, annoying, nonchalant face. Oh, and play with his pencil -.-" So that got me irritated. I remembered to make eye contact with the two of them as much as possible but not to the extent of creating and awkward atmosphere. But seriously, that guy really got on my nerves -.-

As I thought back about the topic of the conversation, the reading passage (birthday celebration) and the picture discussion.. I thought back 2 weeks ago when my English teach had written down some conversation topics on the board and told us to pick a topic and discuss in pairs. Surprisingly, the topic that Amabel (my partner) took was on family/friends! Wow! God was totally preparing me for the oral ever since two weeks ago! :o :o

The rest of the day went pretty well and I came home to rest for a bit and did some last minute revision on social studies.

Yesterday I did my QT on psalm 56 (I think). And I felt that it really applied to me. The psalmist sang of God's realness to us and how He can make the impossible possible. Just by trusting in Him, that He'll deliver us from our troubles, and He will. For God loves us so much, He wants to bless us and shower us with His love. I was afraid, but God took hold of the situation and granted me His peace. Truly I felt blessed.. Felt that God really touched my heart yesterday. I ended my QT with this song: Amazing Grace.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

T'was grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Saviour has ransomed me
And like a flood, his mercy reigns
Unending love,
Amazing grace

Indeed, God's grace is enough for us. And to know that God cares so much for us, don't we feel indebted to love Him back and do all we can for His glory just as He has done so many great miracles in our lives and showers us with abundant blessings? All Glory to God! For He is good and He is worthy to be praised!

Well here're two videos I found pretty cute on youtube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_Ltg8XDw_U

This video's embedding disabled. Do click on the link above to enjoy! :D The song is "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail.

Clown

2011-08-10T18:30:00.002+08:00

Clown

Aw man.. I actually woke up early in the morning today.. Got dressed, headed out and for school.. Got out the lift, walked, my neighbour - uncle low - was surprised and asked if I really had school.. Then I was like.. omg.. yesterday was national day right?? =.= erm.. better call up my classmates to check. SO. I got into the car, called up many friends and finally guofang picked up and said, "no, I don't think so...." OH MY GOSH... Uncle low would still be there if I were to head back right now. so embarrassing ): My mom alighted me somewhere further away from my void deck and I walked to the nearest staircase, walked up to 5th floor and took the lift up. Thanks, I met my other neighbour - who was one of the few whom I actually felt comfortable talking to - and he asked me if I was heading for school.

And I said er... actually, I just found out there's no school today. And laughed pretty much sarcastically over that statement I made. He laughed too. And said, "haha! so you going back home now?" "Uh.. ya. haha haha haha ....."

When I got back home, I quickly changed back into my home clothes and hid under my blankie. so embarrassing ): Not enough, then I had a bad dream again - oh, I had one before I woke up - and the first one was about being late for some ss seminar... I forgot what really happened, but it was terrible. Then when I slept again, had two nightmares. okay, it's two in one. The first was that I returned this library book and my friend asked me, "Are you sure it's this slot?" I nodded. Then I reached to check. And found out that the slot was too deep. So there were many other compartments before that slot (okay, I really dont know how to describe this) And so I magically "pulled" them out and still couldn't find the book. ... I was doomed. But the dream never continued. It changed scenes.

AO. Annabella Ong. The name of my english teach. What a horror this part of the dream was! She was teaching me how to play the er hu properly?!?! She first complimented on the previous gal before she came to me and however I "balanced" the er hu - I don't know why, but er hu doesn't involve balancing at all. It's just playing right? Apparently I was balancing it with a string and - it always collapses with that breaking glass sound.. Then next was guzheng. My favourite instrument. And I got scolded for the sides the hole thingy came out. Is that even possible?? the strings came out with it too! How's that possible when the strings are supposed to be tied to the screw?? err.. and I got scolded real bad):

Sigh. Oh well.. the bad dreams must've been because of the embarrassment earlier.. don't really know the reason for the very first nightmare though.

Anyways, today's been really productive. I've nailed 3 chapters (nearly one topic) of human geog and my 6 daily trigo qns. Hmm.. got stuck on one question though. Still working on that. I'm gonna be taking a break to watching my long awaited dongyi (5th last episode today) and do a chem paper :D

THE END.

Thoughts

2011-08-05T18:10:00.003+08:00

My thoughts of the day..

expressed in music..

The very songs I happen to have heard on my ipod.. at the right moments..

The last song is 'Leaving', also by Corrinne May. If you've got the track do go listen to it yeah. It has the freedom feeling.. and the highlight of that song, the line that keep running through my mind, "I'm leaving this path behind". And I think that's something I've to work on at this moment. I've to leave it behind and, trusting in God, walk forward.

Listen to those lyrics in the first three videos. I think they're very meaningful.. very.. meaningful.

There is nothing

2011-08-04T16:37:00.006+08:00

There is nothing

Verse 1:
Lord I come before You
To honor and adore You
For who You are and all that You have done
Lord I am not worthy
My heart is dark and dirty
Still somehow You bid for me to come

Pre-Chorus:
So clothe me in humility
Remind me, that I come before a King

Chorus:
And there is nothing
There is nothing
More precious, more worthy
May I gaze deeper
May I stand longer
May I press onward to know You Lord

Verse 2:
May our time be sweeter
May I be a keeper
Of the promises I make to You in song
Lord may I remember these moments of surrender
And live my life this way from this day on

Pre-Chorus:
So clothe me in humility
Remind me, that I come before a King

Chorus:
And there is nothing
There is nothing
More precious, more worthy
May I gaze deeper
May I stand longer
May I press onward to know You Lord

Pre-Chorus:
So clothe me in humility
Remind me
that I come before a King

Chorus:
And there is nothing
There is nothing
More precious, more worthy
May I gaze deeper
May I stand longer
May I press onward to know You Lord
May I press onward to know You Lord

Had a pretty satisfying day today. Had a surprise physics test (full paper). Didn't study for it, but I didn't do too bad(: 55/74. Well, a math test was pretty all right I guess. I didn't do too well for the first try 12/20, but after clarifying some stuff, I was able to get full marks - 22/20 - on second attempt. Oh, the additional 2 marks is from the bonus question :D Surprisingly the bonus question wasn't too difficult (I was careless for the first attempt so lost that two marks D:)

Made a trip down to popular after school with anna to get some assessment books. I pretty surprised I'm doing this 'cos normally I'd buy assessment books, just chuck them on the shelf and leave it to collect dust.. Well, apparently, it's come to my realisation that I'm pretty bored at home (now that I don't have homework haha :p) and when I'm too lazy to sniff my books, doing assessments help. Hmm.. replace "studying" in a way :p

Good news! I made a new draft of the song :D Hmm.. not sure if the title is confirmed, but for now, it's called, "Glorified". :D I'm really looking forward to completing it! Hmm.. and here's the sad news. Cough gone bad and I sound really weird now :s and I'm most probably going to have dinner on my own. What should I cook? Fish head? :p :p hmm.. oh well! shall decide later :D Shall get down to business and do chem paper now :D

Sickness begone!

2011-07-31T00:32:00.003+08:00

Sickness begone!

Last week was down with a fever, bad headache and sore throat. As soon as I recovered from the fever and bad headache, my sore throat persisted and soon my throat had white spots (I heard it's due to the infection). Apparently, my doc said I had a weak throat.. Oh well.. Can't do awl role for now I guess :\ So now I'm currently on medication for 10 days max (about 2 weeks). Hopefully by then, I'd recover so it wouldn't hinder me in my performance during my english oral on 18 aug! :s ohoh, and the start of my prelim paper 2. English. I think.

With prelim 1 over, school's really changed. I mean, my schedule and all. It's revision after revision after revision.. oh wait, nonono.. Test papers after test papers after test papers :s I'll surely NEVER forget this year :s They're seriously blasting us with e math and a math and geog and sciencesss papers!!!! gahhhhh :s And quizzes every week. Gonna be having one on monday (is that tmr? I think it is...) And it's on Rivers and Coasts. Hmm.. I skipped both pure geog lessons this week (mc...) .. So I skipped the one on Natural Vegetation and Development :\ Oh well. Luckily those aren't my weak topics, so I'm fine with it(:

The medication's making me kinda sleepy so it's pretty hard for me to study... that's what I thought. Well, sleeping frequently (after taking my medication) took up most of my time, but nonetheless, the time set aside to study was pretty fruitful. haha is that the right word? :\ Well, I managed to cover a lot in barely 30 minutes of revision. Thanks to the long period of studying (2 months) a few months back(: wheee!! :D :D stress-free~~

hehehee and lastly, before I end this post,

Happy Birthday Haru! :D :D

Haven't been sick for a long time..

2011-07-25T23:30:00.003+08:00

Haven't been sick for a long time..

Not that I want to, of course.

I've always been prone to getting a cold or sinus infections during the monsoon periods when the temperature and rainfall changes with extreme temperatures/rainfall every day.. Gahh.. don't like those periods. Had to bring tissue around with me - at least 3 packets of tissue.

This time it's some virus.. Don't know what it is, but my mom got it first then spread to me =.= Apparently, my dad and my sis are fine, so it probably could've been something only my mom and I ate around the same time. Cos she was sick the night before already, I was sick the next morning, when my mom had a high temp of 38.7 d.c. :s And she still went out to buy bao for breakfast, saying she needed to get something to eat so she can take her medication (just panadol cos she didn't see the doc then.. yet) my mom's really strong.. I think if I were to have that high temperature, I wouldn't even be able to get out of bed :s

And that kind of reminded me of the time when I was p3 and - I think I had food poisoning, so - had a tempature of 39.0 d.c. and I was unconscious =.=" jee, thank God I didn't have that temperature.

Don't worry, my fever was a mild one, 37.8. Still, I felt like a zombie. haha! oh well, can't help it :p Anyways, my fever has subsided, though the headache and sore throat persists, it isn't as bad as yesterday's and this morning's :D

Oh well, I'm gonna be taking my medication after I'm done with this sweet potato (supper)! yumyum =9

Just a little studying progress update! I'm done with a few topics of a math: Surds, Indices & Logarithms, Quadratic Equations and Inequalities, Partial Fractions, Differentiation and Rate of Change. Will be moving on to integration after that. As for the other subjects, I think I've covered a bit of human geog (development & geog of food), a bit of the LTTE topic.. gah! I should get started on my sciences too! :s

Hmm.. Second prelims are nearing and I'm not feeling nervous.. maybe.. yet. But still, I'm pretty alright with it, knowing everything's in God's hands right now(: So for now, I'll just keep studying and do my best for prelims!

p.s. boohoo! there's chinese for prelim 2!

Random post II!

2011-07-24T02:07:00.003+08:00

Random Post II

hehe if you guys are bored you can go to these sites to play a game :P

Tower of Hanoi: http://game-one-hanoi.blogspot.com/
Game of Snake: http://game-two-snakes.blogspot.com/

ohoh! and before I forget, I found this. The almost long forgotten blog.
hehe! it's a feedback form actually(:
http://feed-back-form.blogspot.com/

have a nice day & ttfn! :D

Random

2011-07-21T20:39:00.002+08:00

Change In The Making

There’s a better version of me
That I can’t quite see
But things are gonna change
Right now I’m a total mess and
Right now I’m completely incomplete
But things are gonna change
Cause you’re not through with me yet

This is redemption’s story
With every step that I'm taking
Every day, you’re chipping away
What I don’t need
This is me under construction
This is my pride being broken
And every day I’m closer to who I’m meant to be
I'm a change in the making

Wish I could live more patiently
Wish I could give a little more of me
Without stopping to think twice
Wish I had faith like a little child
Wish I could walk a single mile
Without tripping on my own feet
But you’re not through with me yet

And this is redemption’s story
With every step that I'm taking
And every day, you’re chipping away
What I don’t need
This is me under construction
This is my pride being broken
Every day I’m closer to who I’m meant to be

From the dawn of history
You make new and you redeem
From a broken world to a broken heart
You finish what you start in everything
Like a river rolls into the sea
We’re not who we’re going to be
But things are going to change

I'm living redemption’s story
With every step that I'm taking
And every day, you’re chipping away
What I don’t need
And this is me under construction
This is my pride being broken
And every day I’m closer to who I’m meant to be
I'm a change in the making

I'm not who I'm gonna be
Moving closer to your glory

When facing a problem, you only have two roads, two paths, two choices to make; to counter it with God, or succumb to the "doom". There's absolutely no such thing as sitting on the fence because life goes on whether you choose the right path or not; life goes on no matter what. It's the lack of courage that pulls us back.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Never underestimate or take that for granted for God's word carry great power to those who believe (1 Cor 1:18).

...

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with making mistakes. We're human after all, we're all striving to be like Jesus. Sometimes we got to think about why things happen, why bad things happen, why good things happen. The good, is of course by the God's mercy and grace. What about the bad? Does it mean that God has forsaken us? No! Sometimes things happen for a reason. Very often - okay, all the time - it does happen for a reason. There may be uneven and jagged edges on this vase, but it is not finished. God is not finished with us. He's still molding us, shaping us. He's slowly shaping us into perfection, chipping away what we don't need, we're still under construction..

...

I was thinking about all these as I reflected about my past and what happened recently that I came up with these words. Well, not the song of course. By the way, that's by Addison Road from their album, "Stories". It's true that sometimes in our imperfection, that when we want to be like Jesus, knowing that it's highly impossible though we do aim for perfection, we take it hard on ourselves. But I think what's most important here isn't about aiming for perfection.. it's about trusting in God that all will be well; He will be the one molding us into perfection. What we merely have to do is to trust God and let Him do the work.

Pretty tired today. ): gah. It wasn't that long and wasn't that stressful.. but I guess after receiving the schedule for the rest of the year up til next year Jan.. yeah, it kinda does look pretty fast and.. sigh. I'm so so tired.

Studying geog now. It's 9pm and I'm still waiting for my mom to get back.. gah.. haven't eaten dinner yet ): ma ma kuai hui jia!!! ):

It bothers me

2011-07-17T22:27:00.002+08:00

It bothers me

And I'm certainly not looking forward to it.

Release of Prelim 1 results tomorrow. Well, some papers. Not sure of the schedule yet, but I'm really not looking forward to it. After my geog teach went through both geog papers, I was really really disppointed. and furious. It was something we were taught before, and taught to do so, and she, being one of the two teachers who marked our scripts never told us in term 1 that we couldn't - needn't actually - write the intro. of a LORMS question. We were always taught that the intro, body and conclusion structure is crucial to answering the question (aside from the content and evaluation of course.) And now then she come tell us - no, scold us - why we waste so much time writing the intro.

Even after those words that our principal comforted us with.. all about prelims 1 not gonna be very good and will most probably be meeting her with our parents and all. I'm totally prepared, really. But yeah, I wasn't comforted at all. If she knew, why was there even a need for the meeting?

ah. and I'm probably pmsing now.

duck.
I hate it.
I don't know why.
I just hate it.

2nd slack-est day?

2011-07-15T20:48:00.004+08:00

2nd slack-est day?

Didn't have much going on today and pretty much had free periods(: felt like a relaxing day with the cool weather to top it off & the strawberry from the kerine's strawberry birthday cake. mmm!(: Found out my classmates bought the cake from Four Leaves. Just walked pass four leaves today and saw the cake labelled, "Strawberry Shortcake". mmm! sweet(:

Had sogurt with zoey after school and relaxed for the rest of the day. Well, I've got to treasure this week fully for I'll be starting to chiong again next week...

not really looking forward to that.

Well, certain things have happened and I'd realise the power of my words, the experience that I just had, and what I read from my qt material merely a few days ago.. it was all true, and yet. Disappointment. Yet again. Filled my heart with anger and judgement upon myself. I know I shouldn't have been affected that much, I mean, it was just a trivial matter after all.. Why had I thought too much about what she said? True enough, she's human too and her words carry as much weightage as mine. That's what I thought, and eventually let my emotions get the better of me. But because she's human, as am I, that we make mistakes. Maybe she shouldn't have said that in that manner, maybe she shouldn't have said it till I was ready. Maybe her mom shouldn't have said that but she would not be able to understand for I see her standing so far away from me.

It's like ever since then, I felt so close, yet so far.

to both sides.

Or should I say.. Three?

Clarify.

2011-07-13T17:13:00.005+08:00

Clarify.

There are certain things that I've to clarify, I have to make it right, I have to take action. I cannot just leave it there and let it continue in its current state.

Many things going on my mind and yet, I cannot say it out. Things are slowly changing and I've musted some courage in me already, but yet, it's not enough .. I need more.. I need more of this and that.

With the break between prelim 1 and 2, I think God has given me new tasks. And it's my duty to fulfill it, for God's glory. I will do it for the benefit of others as well. I can't bear to look anymore. I can't bear to see myself being influenced by the thoughts and perhaps even turned into words.. and actions.. I keep telling myself to put myself in the person's shoes. I keep telling myself that. But my actions say otherwise. And for this, I'm extremely disappointed. I don't want other to be influenced the same way. A little is funny, yes. But to the point of that? no, I cannot stand it. It will never sit right with me.

There are some loose screws and screwdrivers scattered all over the floor. I'm gonna take my time now, to make sure each are screwed in tight. Sure it will come loose one day, if I'm not there, someone else will screw it back.

There's chem practical tomorrow, just a practice one. just revised my QA and redox reactions(: Sigh. I must remember to change my bag later. I think my table is infested with ants. Either that, or my bag is, or I'm just some sweet human being that attracts all the ants -.- it's not that bad to the extent of "infested" but I had to blow a lot of them away. And how frustrating it is when I was trying to do my work! ):<

hmph! angry.

Oh well, there's a new update on my poem blog(:

Shall end off here. Today's dinner would be: Fish, soup, bak kwa & rice!

Chef signing off!
SSSIIIIGGGGNAAAATTUUURREEEEEE.

School tomorrow..

2011-07-10T21:09:00.000+08:00

School tomorrow..

Nearly 2 months of not having proper lessons and now back to following timetable.. Pretty weird, but I guess it's alright. Just not sure what's with the remedials though. I heard it was compulsory for everyone to go for it.. so much for calling it "remedial". More like extra lessons =.=

Oh well. Wore the new blue top I bought earlier this week! :D hehe would like to take a pic but I didn't get to and I'd already thrown it into the laundry bin :p hmm.. Today was pretty short yet tiring for me.. well.. sorta. sore eyes):

-sigh-

The thought of having school tomorrow.... -_- just wanna stay in bed...

Some things happened recently, but I don't wanna talk about it. I guess it's something I have to learn and be careful of next time.. and I think I should start finding a paper & pen soon.

Thanks be to God! :D

2011-07-07T21:19:00.001+08:00

Thanks be to God! :D

Prelims are finally over, and not to mention, chinese O lvl orals! :D :D I'm really glad it's all over and yet, can't really believe it is. Exams really drain me out): Sigh. Today was A math and I did a really really silly mistake.. of quotient rule): sigh. Oh well, I did my best for the entire paper and that's what truly matters the most :D

Thanks for keeping - not just me but perhaps other sec 4s as well - in your prayers too(: (:

I think the fact that I don't feel that upset as compared to last time is because I realise I've been depending more on God, which is good :D and because I depend more on Him, I worry less. Since worrying has always been my big problem, being this calm and at peace.. I must say, it is really God who is doing all this, including my change! :D :D

Orals was expected, yet unexpected. I thought I was the 18th as I heard there'd only be one station for express students (the NA and NT ppl were also taking their orals on that day, different stations, total 3, I presumed - at first). I was pretty calm the day before (yes, I was a little anxious, but I couldn't help it! wednesday was it! I was gonna just blabber it all out, all that I've learnt and just BLAGH), but when I'd realised I was gonna be first in my station (apparently, it was separate, don't know how or why..), I kind of freaked out. Yeah, it was really unexpected.. But the prayers that we had with the teachers - 4 times in total - really relieved me and I kept telling myself what I told myself the night before: This is all part of God's plan, God already knows what would happen and how it would happen. So I'm just gonna let it happen.

Surprisingly enough, focusing on that, I managed to be calmer than I thought!(: and I didn't stutter as much as psle......... hehe just stumbled a bit on three words. But oh well, it's just three words :\ sigh. if only the passage wasn't that difficult):

Oh well.. it's all over now. and I'm really thankful that it's all over 'cos through these two weeks, I've grown even more or came to the realisation of my dependence on God and it's truly truly wonderful.. Imagine.. having nothing to worry about because you know that God is already working on it..

Well, besides all of that, I had a great time of relaxing today with three movies! :D Secret (bu neng shuo de mi mi), Rio and Morning Glory. Blu's so cuute and irresistable!!! :p :p hehehee I'm gonna hug this blu to sleep and dream that it flies too :x

Hmm.. I think I'll be watching a bit of anime before doing qt and retire for the day. Pretty tired already haha :\

short post

2011-07-03T23:07:00.003+08:00

short post.

Things are going pretty okay for now.. can't wait for prelims to be over!! :\ Wednesday.. O lvl orals.. I can't wait for that to be over the most -.- -.- -.- -.-

Well, as I've mentioned earlier, I've been doing a study on psalms and today I've just completed psalm 40. Good progress I might say! :D And just a reminder to myself, there are three types of songs: struggling win sin, victory, praise and thanksgiving.

That's what Ps William told me about as he explained psalm 39 to me. I think.. hmm.. Oh well, anyways, my nose is disobeying me nowadays. causing my headaches): bad synus bad bad synus! D; I don't even know how to punish it. I hope it doesn't affect my exams and oral this week! :s

I was just done with my revision for some of chemistry topics, gonna be moving on to A math formulas. gahh.. integration): still my weakest topic for now I think. Oh well, I still got time to practice on that before O lvls, so til then, I'll keep working hard on it! :D

Hmm.. kay nothing else. good day peeps! :D

3 more days to go!

2011-07-01T21:21:00.002+08:00

5 days of prelims over, 3 more days to go!

The morning is early
Though skies are not bright
Sit & watch carefully
The sunbeams of morning's glory

Awaken my soul
Shake me from within
Teach me to do as I'm told
Not walk down the path of sinfulness

I'll throw them all away
Learn to love & obey
For Your glory to be shown
My old being I must disown

My hiding place
I'll dwell in You
What I must never erase
the truth about You.

~

Endured 5 days of immense brain torture, but it was through this that I've learnt to depend on God and trust in Him :D past 1 or 2 days I let stress take over me and again, by God's grace and unfailing love, He'd shown me a "mini" miracle, experiencing His presence and know that He cares and loves me very much.(:

Upcoming week schedule recap!

Monday: No school. woohoo! :D
Tuesday: School/paper starts at 0900 or 0915 I think.. E math P2
Wednesday: Dread. Sc (Chem) P2, Sc (Phy/Chem) P1, O lvl chinese oral
Thursday: A math P2

And it's FWEEEEEDOM!! for a few weeks before prelim 2, that is ):

Oh well, having some rest is better than mugging like crazy for the next few months all the way to O lvls right =.= hmm.. alright! shall post a bit more about today..

Phy P2 and P Geog P2 (human geography) today. Extreme difficult and easy questions for both papers. Pretty much mad at myself for choosing the wrong question for human geog, but it's alright, I'll learn from it(: Went for lunch with zoey and shu ting at men men don don! :D hehee I ate my ebitama don again =p And then ate yoguru with zoey(:

Dragged my feet all the way home and collapsed on to the bed to sleep =____=

.. 1506-1859 ..

Woke up to watch dong yi! :D Exciting episode today. In the beginning, that is. The torturing was a bit too cruel to watch :\ Korean dramas are really awesome with their plots and acting, I must say :p it looked way too natural!

Ate my dinner around 7pm+ and now it's 9.50pm and I'm still eating it :x terrible terrible. must be learn from zoey. confirm. double confirm (with action). confirm. guarantee. plus. CHOP.

=p

Random stuff.

2011-06-27T13:59:00.023+08:00

China trip pics! :D

Some of them, that is..

snow! :D my hood was about to fly off though :\

Fake band. hehehe :p

fake people.

fake people and fake news.

"25th DEC MERRY XMAS". I'm so sorry for whoever this person's car is :x

hehe that's crystal and me. :D

I forgot what this was.. Just chose it cos she was so cute :p

Crystal, Nicholas (her bro) and me.

eh.. didn't expect her to do that, but oh well~ :p

Anonymous art piece! hehee :D

Husky! Hmm.. I didn't get to take a proper pic cos camera man was gone when I patted each and everyone of 'em (without gloves on) and my fingers were literally numb and about to drop off.. but it was worth it! hehehee I liked the huge one that when sat down, was up to about my waist? And it was pretty big-sized too. hehee loved hugging that one! :D :D

The fake Eiffel Tower.

I'm known in China! Here's the big 'V' street! :p (sorry for the blur pic :\)

Me and Hannah :D This is in dalian I think. pretty cold.. wore only shirt, jeans and the winter jacket over.. didn't have time to change :\

This was taken outside of the fake people museum :D it was some bank place I think.. hmm..

More pics on facebook! :D

okay. I really have to stop procrastinating and get down to business.

New stuff.

2011-06-27T13:12:00.005+08:00

New stuff.

Okay, so today's the first practical exam of the year. gonna be having another before Os. maybe. I think :\ Well, it was a good experience, I might say. except for the part when I wanted to wash my test tubes at the same time think about the answers for the last two qns for chem practical.. Mrs Phua then announced to us that we should not starting washing our test tubes of clean up yet. It was about 25 minutes before the paper was over. I wanted to wash em cos it was distracting to see them all messy -_- distracting my thoughts :p wanna be clean also cannot.. okay lor..

Had lunch with Amabel afterwards. Sigh. I think I'm colourblind. my friends talked about orange precipitate. I wrote yellow when it kinda did look like orange.. gahh!! I should've at least written dark yellow or something): oh well, at least this isn't SPA otherwise I'd be crying my eyeballs out :\

Hmm.. back home and watched last friday's 9pm episode. episode 19, if I'm not wrong. whee! super exciting! :D It ended off as a cliffhanger as usual. Can't wait for tonight's finale 大结局! I hope I wrote that right :p here's the schedule for my prelims..

Tomorrow: E math P1, SS
Wednesday: A math P1, P Geog P1 (physical)
Thursday: E lit
Friday: Sc Phy P2, P Geog P2 (human)
Next Tuesday: E math P2
Next Wednesday: Sc Chem P3, Sc Chem/Phy P1, O LVL CHINESE ORAL):
Next Thursday: A math P2

The schedule's not too bad I think(: I hope I'll do fine.. like.. just pass overall for now ._.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT TO ANSWER THE LAST QN OF PHY PRACTICAL!! WAHHHHH KILL ME NOW!!! NAOOOOO!!!!!!!! So evil, they put a question within a question):):

All that aside, I've been extremely frustrated with my iTunes. Ever since I transferred them to my dad's comp, they've been putting exclamation marks beside all the songs I added (mostly anime ):) and I've to click on every single one to locate the file. annoying -_- Sigh. If only my dad allowed me to dl msn on his comp.. but I know he'll never allow it :\ gah.. oh well, shall resume to transfer via thumbdrive I guess.

*Shrugs*

Oh well.

Back to revision. Hope I don't use up too much brain juice, cos must keep some for tmr even though I'm gonna use most of it on E math instead :p hehe jkjk. shall do my best for both papers tmr :D

Breaking free

2011-06-24T00:17:00.003+08:00

Breaking free

There's a duty I must fulfill. There's a task I am on. There's a sense of responsibility that I hold. And that's something.. something I long to do. I'm no longer gonna sit there and keep it to myself all the time. Whatever comes out, I've a recorder and notepad ready in my hand. I'm determined to do it. Because I want to. It's my calling. Even if it's just 99.99999% that I'm sure it is, I believe God gave me this talent for a reason. It's more than crystal clear. I'm gonna do it. No matter what, even if it'll take me months, I'll do it.

Cos like I said, it's a duty I must fulfill, a task I am on, sense of responsibility that comes with it, something that I want to do because I feel that God had called me to do so.

~

Besides, all that, how've the holidays been for you guys? Hmm.. I felt I'd only enjoyed the last two weeks of the holidays =.= Oh man.. so quick and in a blink of an eye, I'd be sitting for my prelims already): Not to mention, chinese Oral on 6 July!):): gah.. hate chinese):

Okay, I don't even know when's english oral. or chinese listening compre.......

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

Hmm.. I wish ........ oh nvm.

Last week of holidays

2011-06-21T20:09:00.004+08:00

Ladies Nite!

hehe recently have been keeping up with this show. I do encourage you guys to watch it, yeaa, not just girls :P Hmm.. it's pretty funny and entertaining and yupp, can learn some cool stuff from there(:

Well progress for studying is still pretty okay. I'm on track now(: but was a bit shocked when I realised I couldn't do a single question for Rate Of Change.. from tys some more. It took me awhile to get used to it and finally do most of the questions :D Hmm.. the rest are pretty alright. I'm just a bit on the verge of giving up on my combined humans -_- ss...... sigh.

Hmm.. and aside from studying, nothing really much to do except to rest a lot for the last week of hols!(: My mom's flying off later.. or rather, tomorrow, early in the morning.. My sis is going back too, coming back on sunday 12am something.. gonna be missing her loads): Hope she'll be safe in Japan and enjoy her time there as well(:

Currently still transferring stuff to my comp.. but I guess I'll end off here and stalk people on facebook till the transfer is done! :D

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

2011-06-11T22:31:00.002+08:00

EVERYONE'S A CRITIC!

hehe statement by squidward.

Woke up then had lunch soon after while watching spongebob squarepants at the same time :D hehe it's been a while since I'd last watched that. I really love that show. Not only does it remind me of my childhood, but if there's anything I like about spongebob, it's his attitude. He's really easily pleased, satisfied, really funny and cute. He's even so positive even when the others could not see any positive side to a particular situation. Also, I do admire his friendship with patrick too. hehee they're so cute together :P

Realising so many things I did not bother observing before, my mouth was glued most of the time as I thought about the events that took place every minute, every second. I made a huge huge mistakes during worship today. Not just one actually, I even came in wrong beat for You Laid Aside Your Majesty. Through those two songs, it was like a battle for me. And inner battle like the one recently, only this was like even more crucial because I was to bearing the responsibility as a levite to encourage them to worship God. And if it was my mistake that drew their attention to me instead of having their moments praising God.. I just felt really.. like it's the end of the world for me feeling. My whole face turned really really warm and I could feel my cheeks burning. If it were not for the lights that were off, everyone would see it.

I was fighting the inner battle. I remembered the first time I played keys and I messed up big time just like so. And I would never forget that day. God took over me, He took my wheel and steered while I was fighting the inner battle. Furthermore, I did not distract them at all. I was surprised at that. Then during the evaluation, I was even more surprised that it was like no one blamed me for my mistakes. Until I pointed it out, that is. And I just felt like crying because they didn't care. Not don't care that kind, but, bu zai yi that kind. Everyone's NOT a critic. It was alright. It was? I questioned myself again and again. I felt so encouraged by their words and comments and when Pastor William said we up one level, I was really really happy :D うれしいです！ほんとうにうれしい！:D

I was reflecting about today, and then I'd realized.. Everyday could be like this.. if only I would open my eyes to see all of God's wonderful works done.. right before my very eyes. If only I would be willing to see.

Today was wonderful as I experienced something new, different, yet it felt so normal, but even thought it felt normal, I never took a single second for granted. Never.

And hey, this post is by far the most meaningful among my past few posts :P Haven't written one like this in quite awhile(:

Thoughts

2011-06-09T22:55:00.003+08:00

Thoughts

I've been doing the regular reflections.. especially deep ones. And as for this post, I'll sum up some thoughts for today. It's not full, just part of it.

To fulfill what the Lord had taught and tasked me to do. Forfeit my own desires to help others. It's not that difficult. I did it before and I felt much better than the relaxed life I have now. Lord, make use of me, help me to be of help to others like how you used me before; to put others before myself once again.

My actions I've not carried out. Proves nothing. Thoughts are simply not enough..

It's up to me..? but why? right. I'm growing up, becoming more independent in action, making decisions.. There're so many important decisions to make at my age. Family, future, friendships, related. So many, but I'm not alone. God, give me courage.

Shaking Knees

2011-06-04T23:14:00.002+08:00

Shaking Knees, Another Inner Battle.

Ah.. someone was supposed to come today, but didn't. Lots of things going through my mind today. including that.

With the last-minute notice - again - of being co-song leader, I freaked out. I honestly did. It's not exactly something to be proud of. As in, in that way.. To put it bluntly, they threw me in the deep deep sea, not just deep, why? Because it was last minute. To put it nicely, they gave me a chance to have a whole new experience taking on the role as a co-song leader (:

During prac, spent a whole hour on the first song and we didnt have time to practice the last two songs: This Is Our God and Alabaster Jar. Gah.. and I made a mistake coming in.. with the wrong song some more -.- sigh. many things going through my mind before and after worship.. but I think the prac really gave me confidence to stand up there and sing. But honestly.. I dont know why either.. but part of me felt comfortable there, but the other part filled with doubt and no confidence in that role. Again, another inner battle.

Oh well. I was glad I was able to feel the Holy Spirit ministering to me and saw that people started singing during the second-third song. I was really encouraged by that :D

But still.. I'm always having that constant feeling of not wanting to take on the role of co-song leader cos.. well, I don't know.

Hmm.. I feel pretty tired today. These past 2-3 days.. have been really energy-draining for me. And I think the major cause would be the weather. It's really bad nowadays. I mean, me getting tired at 11pm? nope, not usual at all =.= oh well, I guess I can't sleep too late today either. Goodnight peeps!(:

Intensive revision

2011-06-03T22:49:00.003+08:00

Intensive revision

didn't start off that intensive actually. which is good(:

Started off with geography and english yesterday. Had a pretty big thing going on during english period. My classmates and I got scolded for things we didn't even do..... Oh well, I heard other classes had to close their ears yesterday too =.=

Heard that since rivers and coast topic didn't really come out much for last year's paper, Mrs Ong decided to focus more on rivers and coast for now. We'd yet to cover the topic on industries.. but, oh well.. I heard the other topics were much more important. hmm. Still, I gotta read it(:

Good news and bad news... these two days have been feeling really drained/tired. Most probably mentally I guess.. it's barely 11 and I'm really really tired as if it's 4am in the morning kinda thing :s but then again it's a good thing cos I'll have no trouble sleeping :p

As for today's intensive revision, only had english.. went through the compre and summary we did yesterday.. Pretty dry. Ms Ong lost me nearly 30 minutes after she started going through the compre :x I'm sorry!! hehe at least I didn't get scolded for talking to amabel beside me :p

Hmm.. had a really great day today! :D and I got to watch pirates of the caribbean! hehe honestly, telling me about the scene or not wasn't that much of a help because I was still startled =.= I can still remember his EYES O.O

Anyway, Orlie's on my bed now. She's learning to be disciplined and not scratch or bite on her skin (scratch) when she's on my bed. hehee guuuuud orlie! yikes! someone came home and I'm finally not alone at home!(: and orlie walked over me and jumped off my bed -.- hey. -.- -.- -.-

Chinese Os

2011-05-30T20:40:00.002+08:00

The Hall.

Preparation last friday was pretty frantic and even I was beginning to feel really anxious about the Os today. My table was shaking, my heart was beating fast and all I could think of was the day I collect my Chinese Os' result. Don't know what happened.. but a few minutes before I left the examination hall, my table was.. suddenly stabilised O.O weird... but yeah. really... weird.

The exams today was pretty alright I guess. Truth is, I don't know how I faired, but one thing I do know is that I really did my best. I'm really thankful that I had a lot to write for bao zhang bao dao and understood most of the paper for paper 2. However, understanding the passage doesn't mean that I know how to answer them yeah.. =.= Understanding is one thing, answering is another.

Well, I'd decided to take a break today and go out for lunch with my friends at PS. We ate at Swensens :D It wasn't as pricey as I thought, but with the Goods and Services Tax, the cost was pretty reasonable I guess. I went home straight after, feeling dizzy from walking around PS. haha, I think it's been quite a long time since I'd last walked around PS. The crowd and the surprisingly pretty crammed shops made me have that claustrophobic feeling. Doing the paper really drained me mentally. I didn't even want to spend a minute longer in PS =x And so I went home and watched a movie that I've actually watched with my family before and - if I'm not wrong - the latest movie we'd last watched many months ago.. :\

Oh yes, the movie's called Robinhood. Pretty shakespear-ish. Pretty confusing as I couldn't really pay attention.. well, lying on the couch, dizzy from walking around PS.. hey, and I did two papers this morning.. Can't blame me if I wasn't really paying attention.. heh :p

Watched Dong Yi (Tong Yi) at 7plus-8pm then cooked beef for orlie. Yawn. alright, I'm gonna go off now. haha not sleeping! but today is 9pm show's DA JIE JU! :D :D

CYA.

Encouraged

2011-05-23T16:03:00.008+08:00

Encouraged.

I thought for quite a while for the title of this post. And I thought this would fit perfectly.

As you guys might've already known, the O lvl chinese written paper is next monday. And so my school has given us a break on all lessons - except chinese of course, well... - with chinese - not lessons, but - mock tests and a fixed schedule to go through the papers. Thank God for wonderful teachers who rush to mark our papers :D and it rhymes! woohoo! :D

I know it's been really tough on them as well. And I could tell by the stern, squared and robotic faces with droopy eyelids and eyebags getting a little more obvious. Just by this, I feel encouraged. Don't you feel so too? I mean, they stayed up so late - some didn't even sleep - just to rush marking through our papers and even prepare the answers for us. Everyone's busy, but without them, I think even I wouldn't be motivated to study this hard(:

One of my teach was saying that there was a girl whose chinese wasn't too good... and even passing seemed so very impossible, but within two weeks, when she stepped into the examination hall, did the paper, and got back her results, she had an A1. I know this is so typical. Yes, even I agree that. But why would she tell us something so typical when it'd happened not too long ago? Why would this teach be telling this to us if not to show us her worry, care and concern for us to do our best and leave no regrets behind?

Truly enough, I feel so blessed enough to be in my school with such wonderfully devoted teachers.

Well, the papers today were pretty challenging, but I was not demoralized by it despite the level of difficulty of the paper. In fact, after all that the teachs had been and had said, my mind had miraculously chosen to just move on and seek for improvement and work on it. This, I am proud of today.

Furthermore, I've come up with a tune.. hmm... don't know much about it yet, but I've recorded it down and do hope to work with it next week after my english prelims the day after my O lvl chinese.

I have started to do my study on psalms and would definitely seek help on it. I figured it was time to stop running away from something God'd called me to do a long time ago. Even after Samuel told me to do so as well. Gah. Okayokay, I'm doing it now(: And honestly speaking, I'm really loving psalms! I'm reading different versions of it, so it's gonna take some time. Two versions, the NIV and The Message Bible. The Message Bible may not be familiar to you guys.. Well, it's just a simpler version of the text where it'd be easier for me to understand when reading it. I think it's good to read both versions 'cos I think I'll be able to practice interpreting the verses right. However, the simpler versions may sound a little awkward so I may difficulty trying to understand for certain verses.

~

Anyways, now that I'm back home, I shall continue my study on geography! :D Then move on to maths before I stop for geography for the entire week to study on chinese and math/a math. whee! can't wait! :D :D

By the way, another thing to note, I've added a new song to my playlist. It's called, "Angel In Disguise" by Corrinne May. Yupp, it's the first song. A teach showed this video to us during morning assembly and it was simply refreshing.

~~MONDAY BLUEZZ~~ OH YEAHHHH!! :D :D

Holiday!

2011-05-17T16:06:00.002+08:00

Study time(:

I've never found myself this much interested and enthusiastic in studying =.= Well, I guess it's cos it's physical geog (learnt before, duh) and it's my last year and I wanna give it my all too :D hmm.. I'm almost halfway there to finishing this topic. 4 more formations and the channelisation thingy for rivers and I'd be done with physical geog! :D well, almost. Hmm.. I'd then take a break and study chinese and continue with my prac for a math/math. Gonna be studying science and human geog soon as well. Thank goodness I started early, otherwise I'd be cramming everything up and feeling so stressed in June :s

Anyways, I'm taking a break from studying now and am using my sis's laptop. And I continued watching one piece! yay! I miss anime!! D; I don't even think I remembered where I stopped, so I just continued at ep 66 =.= Oh well. It's the ep about saving the princess and bringing her to Arabaster? hmm.. not sure if I spelt it right..

Hmm.. I've started watching that 7pm show on channel U too. Korean drama. so I'll be watching that and the noose at 8.30pm and the mapo tofu at 9pm later as well! gah =.= why am I watching all these stuff... :s Oh well, I'll give it a treat for today since it's a holiday :x and I shall continue with my studying soon after another ep of one piece! :P perhaps will continue this post later... perhaps..

PISA!

2011-05-14T10:58:00.003+08:00

PISA!

Was terribly sick today. Remember a few days ago, when I said I had all of those blahblah stuff? yeah, now the neckaches are gone. oh, thursday morning had fever, but it had also subsided(: But I skipped school for that day though.. couldn't take it, cos my headache was really bad :s Oh well, extreme bad headache = fever. confirm, guarantee + CHOP! Oh well.. Anyways, I had to come on friday cos had the PISA test.. But somehow, unfortunately, I didn't get enough sleep. Went to bed on thursday night at around 12am, and I was still awake at 5. I managed to sleep around 5.20pm though.. Then woke up at 6am =.= So yes, I practically slept for 40 minutes ._.

And so.. with the lack of sleep, here comes something new.. AHHHH CHOOOOOO! I managed to sleep quite a bit in the morning when I was doing the PISA test. The first paper was fully on math. 2hours of it. Really logical type of questions, so it was okay. There were some pretty challenging ones. I had enough time at the end to calculate the percentage.. about 20% of the paper was difficult =x hehe I was bored..... Anyways, the room was pretty cold. Good thing I brought my jacket along despite the warm weather in the morning(:

We then did a survey and went to com lab 3 for another test. Also regarding math. Don't get it though, I thought we were to do both math AND science? what happened to science test? :O Hmm.. the com lab 3 test was much more challenging and you can't cheat cos the tests were all different. So I tikam through most of the questions cos I really didn't know how to do it =.=

Hmm.. oh, and I reached my goal at the end of the day of 33 sneezes! whee! record! :D :D aahhahaha!! Hmm.. anyways, I slept and got woken up today by Rachel & Crystal's msg. Gahh.. no.. not singing =.= My voice is still ... not.. quite right.. yet ._.

I was supposed to take over Crystal today (keyboard).. Hmm.. gah.. I don't know =.= still, sing or not, I WANT MY VOICE BACK!!!! ):

Poems

2011-05-11T22:28:00.004+08:00

Poems

Have been trying to wonder about what to write about in a new poem. It would seem that my emotion words are not strong enough for certain themes.. hmm.. I've been looking through my past poems as well. You know, for self-improvement, etc.. or perhaps even gain new inspiration from just reading my past written poems. I wish inspiration would come to me naturally like how I was able to write a poem each day unless I had tests/exams coming up that I wouldn't have time to write.. but most of the time my head was bombarded with all sorts of words that I'd somehow felt "long" to put them together and just write a poem. just like that. But I guess it's not so simple now.. or is it? Hmmm.. Oh well, shall quote some stanzas of some poems before I start on how my day went then.

"For God first loved us,
We learn to love others
For who they are, regardless
Accepting all their flaws; their failures"

- "The amazing world merged with life", written on 31 July 2010.

"Life is unpredictable,
yet it is, sometimes
It's a never ending battle
Against this persistent devil."

- "I would.. But should I?", written on 5 August 2010.

"Remember..
When we first held our hands
In agreement to be friends?

Remember..
When we hugged, with this
A seal of our promise as friends forever?

Remember..
When you were there for me when I failed
We then made a promise to be there for each other?"

- "On that day", written on 9 August 2010.

"Ever seen trees without leaves?
during winter, or late autumn, it seems
Ever seen how much it trembled in the cold?
How it had to shed it's leaves, doing as it's told?"

- "Bits", written on 13 August 2010.

"Do you see the moon
under the same twilight
Just as full as the sun in noon
In this quiet and peaceful night?"

- "Do you see?", written on 18 November 2010.

"Slowly, but surely
bit by bit now
Arms wide and free
She takes her bow

One stands,
Another follows
Combining their hands
Thunder flows
Like crashing dominos"

- "Step forth!", written on 12 December 2010.

"What is this world
I do not recognise
Why had it unfurled
To me, a mask in disguise?"

- "The White Mask", written on 2 March 2011.

More on the poem blog(:
Do hope to be able to write more.. =.=
Poem blog: http://capturedfree.blogspot.com/

~

I won't say much for this post actually. Well, today was a rather gloomy day for me. I'd never felt so sick in.. well, "some time". haha! gah. always falling sick -.- Thing is, I don't have fever! so that's good. still can go school :D sigh. but I'md currently down with headache, flu, phlegm, sore throat, cough (just became worse - though not that bad - today) and bad neckaches. a little bit of sneezing here and there.. oh well. dear body of my mine please recover fast!! hate to be sick =.="

oh right. and the two ulcers too -.-

Alright, so I had a pretty dreadful day, I would say. Physics was a little funny as they talked about Yum Ah Mee.. erm.. did I spell it correctly? gah. and talked dunno about what pms? hmm.. oh right.. Prime Minister Scholar. and Mr Pang - or should I say, Mr Pehhhng - kept um-chioing upon hearing this =x then was like "You all so bad." then um-chio um-chio. tsktsk.

Ms Ong didn't come today, so we had free period.. no work given for English. Also had an early dismissal :D I tried the butter rice today. The one that everyone'd been queueing up (really really long queues) to eat that. don't know what's so nice about it... but yeah.. it tasted pretty alright to me though. Sorry for the disappointment :\ I guess it's just not my kind of food..

Math was.. well, as I predicted, Mr Go went through the paper 2 of the 2009 prelim paper. No new papers were given. Hmm.. I guess I'll practice on my tys for now for E math :D

Alright. I guess I'll be going now. Better get some rest(:

CP & SS workshop

2011-05-10T22:40:00.002+08:00

Chinese Prelims and SS workshop right after..

Had paper 1 first - the compo and letter writing. I would say it was pretty alright.. I hope my I didn't li ti.. well, I thought my content was pretty alright(: The letter writing.. I wasn't that surprised that they gave biao yang for gong han. So.. I was kinda expecting that I would have to do si han instead 'cos I'm weak at biao yang gong han - besides, I don't think I've ever done biao yang gong han..... well, at least this year.

The next paper was paper 3: listening comprehension. It was pretty alright, again. haha :\ I really can't exactly secure any answers unfortunately! That's cos whenever I "secure" 'em, they're always (well, 80%) wrong.. so.. yupp, not to get my hopes up high, I set the mark of expectation to be: alright. I would say so because I could understand most of the pian zhang - yes, all but one. the very first one.. I had absolutely no idea what the person was talking about =.=

Paper 2 was next. paper 2 was killer. really. honestly. I couldn't even understand what the entire paper - except for the second li jie wen da - and I nearly broke down when I was doing the first part of the paper: zhong he tian kong. The paper was super tricky. sigh, I didn't care anymore. just chose what sounded right since I really didn't know which one to choose because in the 4 ci yu s(of the 4 options), it would either be the first word of the two that's the same in the 4 options or the second word blahblahblah.. that caused the confusion cos out of 10 questions, there were AT LEAST 5 questions of that. And as for the others? I could read it, I really could, but I understand not = useless/pointless.

SS workshop really killed my fingers, wrist, blahblah, etcetc.. I gave it a massage earlier, otherwise my fingers'd be cramping all the way till now, I bet. haha! we really did copy a lot. 3 whole hours of teaching about SEQ structure... pretty...... um... long. That would probably also explain the reckless behaviour I was having during the second half of the workshop =.= It was pretty useful .. I guess. Well, the useful part was about the teacher telling us about her experience in teaching and spotting questions - that somehow always come out in the O lvls, so as she says it, it's always "spot on!". She had a funny accent, but speaks with much enthusiasm. I kinda like her actually(: wouldn't mind if she'd be my tutor or something.

Gah.. haven't sat down and still in a long time.. I mean, I study sittin down too, but never this long.. and sometimes I'd lie down on my bed to study. So with my butt stuck on the chair for a few hours, it made me have slight cramps on my neck even up till now =.= Oh well, at least the chinese prelims are over now. Not sure when I'd be taking it back though. hmm..

And so since today'd been a pretty tiring day for me, I'd decided to take a break from studying - for today. Besides, I've got a short day tomorrow(: The usual for every wednesday to end at 1.25pm! :D yayy!

Alright. I'm gonna go "XIANG SHOU"* the aircon in my room :D

*coughcough. paper 2. coughcough.

Exams coming up..

2011-05-09T21:38:00.001+08:00

ひさしぶり

It's been a really long time since I'd last blogged .. hmm.. nearly two weeks ago..? hmmm.. Well, It's been really rI eally busy for me I guess.. Had not been using my laptop either. Poor momo, it's gone bazaar and crazy without me using it ):

Anyways, I've been studying geography as well. sigh, don't know why, but I'm taking a really long time to cover the chapter on floods & droughts =.= oh well, I took some time to study it today. And hooray for the GE elections! :D If it weren't for it, I wouldn't have an extra day for rest + more studying time. All that's left to study for that chapter is the measures for .. droughts. yupp.

Wanted to do some math/a math today, but didn't get the chance to.. woke up late, did some chinese paper practices (o lvl tys). actually did only 3/4 of the paper =x Sighs.. I'm gonna be sick and tired of chinese soon. Especially tomorrow. WHOLE DAY CHINESE EHH... I mean, of course right.. chinese prelims tomorrow ._.

Hmm.. don't have much to blog on today.. I don't really remember about last week's stuff.. gah.. All I remembered was that bad dream I had a few days ago..

There was some "old woman" called Yameo who was the "devil" in the village. Apparently, I appeared to be one of the villagers/visitors. It was something like a rare occasion whereby this happens once in every 1000 years or so. And Yameo, the "joker", the first of the many many "devils". In other words, the strongest. Yameo was known to be the toughest "devil" to "pass" because what it does is, it turns up at every family's door, face every villager, does all kinds of facial expressions, or any weird action to make you laugh. And if you do, you'll die. The dream was horrifying. There'd be some "bait" person who'd be the "master" of the village and kneels at the "entrance" of the village. The walls were built up for some reason - I don't know what. And there was some healer person kneeling beside this "master". Whenever a wave strikes (some power wave), the master would collapse backwards and be revived almost instantly by the healer. It was like watching a gust of wind breaking an frail, old, leafless tree and be "joined" back again. Everyone waited as - everyone had already prepared themselves - Death was approaching. It wasn't until a few hours passed that somebody came running around in the village and shouted that we were lucky, they had miscalculated the date, it wasn't today..... I didn't hear the date, but I saw that everyong else rejoiced. but some still stayed hidden, afraid the news, too, wasn't accurate. I woke up then.

Don't know what it meant, but I don't wanna think about it. It's totally freaky. I remember all the kungfu hustle shows or something. I tried to see a comedy in this, but.. I can't. And it's clearly labelled, 'Nightmare'. And I hereby say that I'll never think about this anymore =.= It's seriously haunting me down. Besides, why should I even be thinking about it when 1) it'll never come true, 2) God has already won Satan? We have victory in Christ now. And this dream is probably the devil attacking me again. The devil will never stop, because of what it is, it will keep doing. But I believe that God has won and has victory over the devil (past, present and future). Therefore, I should never dwell on this ever again.

ugh. I don't know what's on my mind now =.= I didn't even know what to type for this post. gah. chinese prelims tomorrow. can't wait for it to be over =.="

~

Reading that post.. I had this dream on saturday I think.. I teared. no i didn't tear, I cried. I burst out crying. Fear gripped my heart, I can no longer run away from Him, I cannot hide from Him. That dream led me to remember of God's victory over Satan. Then I remembered the cross, the times I'd avoided God at all costs and yet, He constantly reminds me that He'll still be there whether or not I try to run away from Him. Because I can never avoid the fact that He loves me for who I am. He chose to accept me right from the very beginning even when my friends didn't, even when my cousins didn't, even when my very own sister didn't. It let me to think about how sinful I was and how happy I was when I'd chose to let God lead my life, to depend more on Him.

Constant tears streaming down my cheeks,
For something that happened last week,
Much pain, yet very much grateful
For I was once sinful,
But He'd bore my sins on that cross.

Yes, I'm forever grateful to You, Lord.

I know, dad, I know.

2011-04-26T23:56:00.007+08:00

Future.

Wouldn't it be great if I'd just say all I want to do in life in future is to work as a kindergarten teacher? Then again, even a qualification is needed for that, and it's to get a diploma/degree in child psych in NP. or something. Then would you also think, wouldn't it be even greater that I've got 4 paths to choose? Four great paths to choose?

First path is to excel in academics in NYJC,
Second path is to excel in composing using tech. in SP,
Third path is to excel in child psych (in NP) to be a kindergarten teach in future,
Fourth path is to excel in chinese music (guzheng) in NAFA.

Then again, I can only choose one path. And the path that people are telling me to go for, the path that somewhat God may be is narrowing me to is composing and guzheng. But why did I want to have the other two options? Well, for the first one, nope, I didn't want it. The opportunity would be given freely to me - if only I'd DSA. For the other option? Well.. the reason why I didn't want to excel in music is cos I didn't want to have some big job or something. I want to have a job that I can stay loyal to. I want to have a regular job that I can stick to and just offer me normal pay or something. I don't want to go up there. Hence, my little reluctance in taking the 2nd and 4th path.

It may sound weird to you guys out there, but really, I can understand if you feel hatred towards me or something for feeling this stupid. As in, go NAFA is no problem for me right. grade 9, distinction, can what.. and all. Or like, oh composed a song eh! produce an album in future ah! Yes, these are only opinions. But I'd realised I'd raised this to a level higher, to be an expectation, when my mind's vunerable to many options at this point of time.

About - probably - a year ago, I was at Auntie Laura's place with my parents and we had dinner together with some other people. A pastor was there. I'd forgotten who it was.. But he asked me what I wanted to excel then. I said, "guzheng." Then he thought hard and said I should continue learning and excel in it for it's going to become famous; chinese music is becoming more unique. or somewhere near that line. I don't know, I'd often come to a conclusion with. But hey, what's with all these thoughts running in my head now that I've got God to depend on and just let Him do the work? Have I really been relying on Him? Didn't I use to think that I had almost utter reliance on Him? What happened to the flame of faith?

Stresses everywhere. And now the worst is that the 4th path is taking its lead. The one I've been avoiding. The newspapers out today about RCM and NAFA. I must get a diploma in NAFA to go to RCM. My dad was all excited about telling me this. He came into my room - all happy - and telling me how proud he is of my sister and showed me the letters received from NUS and some other unis. Then he broke to me the news that my sis had gotten the course that she wanted: sports science. or is it science sports..? um... Well, something like that. And he was talking all about it and then he changed the topic to RCM and NAFA. "..Haha! Mommy would be so happy! Hahahaha.." His voice trailed off with laughter soon after he left the room.

To make my mom happy? I'd really love that, right? I'd love for my parents to be happy right? I couldn't help but tear at this moment - but why did I tear anyway? I then heard my friend's voice calling me from behind.. of how disappointed my friend is in me. "What about you?" My friend said, "Will you be happy too?"

I'd always known that God would want the best for me and He's my provider. I would not lack the love because He's already showered love (agape) on me and it was already proven by those lashes and carried the weight of the cross, died for me, bore my sins and made me whole in Christ. Such divine love, He died for someone like me. If He loves me so, moresoever would He be willing to provide for me! But why is it I have this scared feeling? This, uncertainty and insecure feeling..

"Where can guzheng bring you?.. Actually, music can't bring you far lor .. music? uhh.."

Many comments that led me to wonder..

Am I really going the right way?

I still got a couple of months before my final decision. God, please help me make a wise one!

God's grace

2011-04-21T17:49:00.002+08:00

SYF

It's been rather crazy with the anxiety in everyone as they go around telling each other how afraid they were. As for this syf, I would say, is by far the first (and last) most anxious competition ever. We were told that the front few before our group had GWH before. and they had a record. meaning it's not just one year that they get GWH, but consecutively.. and it was about at least 5 schools.. Pretty nerve-wrecking if you asked me =.=

It was all pretty rushed and we barely had time to think. But we stayed together. We prayed together. And I was very much sure that each and everyone did their very best because during the actual SYF, guang ling san.. was really.. really.. good. Really! I would even dare to say that it's much better than the chun jie xu qu. The whole atmosphere was there. That heavy atmosphere. And I loved the beginning "555 1 - .." It totally brought the audience to a few thousand years back.. Even I had goosebumps just for that two bars. :O

As for chun jie xu qu, we did quite a number of mistakes, though the minor ones weren't a lot.. Well, the three major ones were.. well, at the same place. gah.. don't get it though, we've always been right on the dot for that one.. ): But anyways, I didn't care about this - surprisingly.. After I playing that last note of chun jie xu qu, I nearly cried ): gah.. cannot man.. cannot! I held it in until we got out of the hall and backstage. Then I burst into tears. No, it wasn't because of the mistakes that I'd heard and made - some, myself - that but it was because nearing the end of the song, the same sentence kept repeating over and over in my head: The last performance.. The last performance.. The last performance..

It was at the point of time that I'd truly felt that the results didn't matter. I wouldn't care whether if we got Gold this time round and broke the record of our seniors, we'd worked HARD. And let me tell you, it really wasn't easy as majority of the gz tuan was made up of sec 2s and 3s. Most of them who only started learning guzheng in secondary school whereas some of our seniors who'd gotten the past 3 gwh awards came from gz tuan in primary school. So they had some music background there. So I felt so proud of my juniors!! And we did so well for the last performance! So well, that I was crying for joy! :D I then prayed and gave thanks to God for this memorable performance(:

We waited anxiously for the results. We competed with 47 other schools. 7 JCs and 40 other secondary schools. So in total: 48 schools. Hmm.. there were a lot of Gold and Silver. only 5 schools achieved Gold with honours award. Serangoon Garden Secondary School (They've really improved! Too bad didn't watch. haha couldn't anyway =.=), Xin Min Secondary School, Nanyang (girls I think) & PLMGSS. The conductor for nanyang was my previous guzheng teach at ARTS :D I was walking in the canteen when I saw and decided to do some catching up(:

Anyways, yes, we've gotten GWH this year and I can't tell you how proud I am of my juniors and the other gz members, not to mentioned the daji! :D Thank God again for He has blessed us, yet again, with such a great result! :D :D We seniors can really step down with - truly - no regrets. Remembered I once said about this year going to be very different? Yeah, though the same things are happening, they're all a different experience all together. And I truly enjoyed this year, very, very immensely :D

Hmm.. anyways, I managed to meet my other lao shi. Both lin lao shi :D They told me more about NAFA. Two courses I heard. gah.. gotta read up more on it.. hmm..

Chinese Oral

I would like to say again, how extremely blessed I felt today! :D My lao shi changed from huang xue ping to some other lao shi. And I felt so much better because huang xue ping lao shi teach hmt one.. and this one doesn't :P hahah well, it's securing in a way right! hahaha! So that's one! Well, I was the last in the group. Estimated about 5pm if everyone in my group were to take about 10 minutes per person. However, my group was pretty fast! :O It was my turn at 4pm I think.. haha pretty early!

As I was preparing (reading passage), I was shaking =.= really. I had to read it over and over again as my voice was shaky too - even though I thought I was pretty much cold due to the air-con in the hall.. But I thought about doing everything to the best of my ability. I know I can do it. I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me. Amen, indeed! :D Because I got to relate to church (going to cambodia; mission trip) as well! And when I was speaking, I'd realised I wasn't as nervous as before. I really wasn't.. And after I left that hall.. I think I did that half-happy, half-awkward smile as I looked at the paper which determined my standard for the oral. And both reading passage and conversation, all zhong shang! YAYY!!!

Yesterday when we announced our SYF results to the school, we sang To God Be The Glory. And I'm not sure about them, but I sang it with all my heart and truly meant it. And at that point of time, the song was replaying in my head over and over.. :D :D

Computer.

2011-04-13T22:11:00.003+08:00

Using the computer.

Certainly a different feeling. well, different keyboards, that is. and the screen. this is so much wider. haha I hope the paragraph problem thing won't happen here.. Well, the reason why I used the computer today instead of my laptop is because I've been wanting to watch kimi ni todoke season 2 episode 12 (final episode!!) since roughly 2-3 weeks ago, but my laptop refused to let me watch it!! DD; And so I'm currently watching it now :D just done with part 1, now moving on to part 2. gahh! so excited to see how this anime ends!

...

Whoa. the best anime I've ever watched. really. Though it's a pretty short anime for such a great storyline/plot, I think they ended off really well! (: hehe yes, and some random parts. haha! Hmm .. alright now about my day.

Thank God that He's given me plenty of rest today! :D
Didn't exactly run for morning jog today. well, it wasn't just me either. everyone walked! haha! Well, I wanted to enjoy the cool morning breeze as a took a morning stroll instead of a morning jog =x

Bought physics practical book and english TYS (communication). $13.85 in total. really really expensive to me T-T Hmm .. English was as boring as every wednesday's english lesson - reading newspapers. Well, it was actually that boring the past few weeks. It just was today because there weren't any articles that interested me. hmm.. looking forward to next week's issue of 'in!' though :D math period was next and we had to do a paper. just paper 1. gah, gotta work on probability questions. haha getting complicated =x

Chapel was really really great! If I recalled correctly, I saw that we were suppose to sing "The Desert Song" by Hillsongs (correct me if I'm wrong), but we didn't.. in the end. Oh well, the speaker was really funny! hahaha! He spoke about topic on self-esteem and how it's linked to how one values himself. Then he moved on to talk about the three voices that we hear everyday; the voice of society (time changes, comparing back then and now), voice of the devil and voice of God. Standard answer, but what I focused more on his teaching was about the voice of society and the voice of the devil. No, I'm not trying to think negatively, whatsoever, but I was reflecting much about what he said the voice of society is and also to make sure I didn't make some mistakes in classifying what I hear into the three voices. I thought in depth about it on my way home.. hmm.. I guess I really gotta be more cautious.

Well, before I could even go home, there was a short cca practice on dong zuo. Pretty disappointed when I see the same people not moving as much as what is expected of them near the bare minimum. But I was also really glad they were motivated to move and for some who still was unsure of how to exaggerate the dong zuo, well, I taught them and they really moved. Though it wasn't the standard of what I'd hoped they'd reach, I could see them making the conscientious effort to move - through the stiff faces and for some, loud & "fast" breathing =x Just hope that they'd remember all that we - zheng leaders - taught them and practice at home so that they'd come prepared for fen zu (practice) tomorrow.

I've a tight schedule this week, but wednesday's my only free day (as it would also seem to be, for the past few weeks as well) and so I came home and took a nice long bath and slept shortly after blow-drying my hair. my bed is like my paradise now =.= I mean, thinking about it, it's the place where I rest & regenerate my energy and dream about anything (I know it includes nightmares and I just had one this afternoon nap, but still! there're beautiful dreams too you know) .. My alarm was set to 5.30pm. (nap for an hour) but I figured I'd better get more rest 'cos I'm gonna be having a really long day from thursday-saturday. pretty long, if you ask me ): oh well, and so I snoozed it till 5.40pm+ and I decided to reset it to 6.30pm instead.

Woke up at 6.30pm on the dot (well, I think you might've known the reason), but my body refused to get out of bed until 7pm =x ahhaha! Hmm.. woke up then cooked dinner and .. GAHH I FORGOT ABOUT 11:11 TODAY! Then studied for chem quiz tomorrow. Caught a glimpse of the recent new tv programme "we are singaporean(s?)". had pretty tough questions. The one who got through the second round, called Daryl. haha! He has the nearly the same dimpled-smiley face as mr pang!! haha keely and I are on debate for that =x She says Daryl's dimpled-smiley face more glam. hahahha and I'm beginning to think so too.. ahh! sorry mr pang!! >.<

Yup. and so after that I watched the last episode of knt s2. what a great way to end off the day yeh? :D Oh. and I just remembered ... I forgot to do something today .. read my geography textbook =.= Oh well, I'll do that tomorrow. Doesn't matter when I do it as long as I do it in the end right? But of course, by the term of "end" I mean before prelims (definitely!) =.=

Oh well, shall end here then. Looking forward to tomorrow! :D

Accomplishment!

2011-04-07T22:41:00.002+08:00

This is gonna be short.

Started off with my dear classmates singing "black friday"'s chorus "it's friday, friday.." =.= Eesh. seriously, I think it's stuck in my head already. haha! Hmm.. ran 2.4 today. I'm really really glad that I was able to improve by 3 minutes!! Yes, it's still slow to some - most - of you out there. but who cares? I improved! gwahahhaa!! The exciting thing about this is that what gave me the determination to run was the this particular verse "But those who wait for the LORD's help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles' wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired." - Isaiah 40:31. Although this verse meant it .. well, differently, I chose to focus a little more on the literal statement of "..they run without growing weary.." and I thought it was beautiful. I thought about my past, about the recent and the moments that I was running. hah! don't know why, but I just felt great - beyond great! :D

Alright. it's already late at night. Just done with my testimonial. gah. troublemsome stuff! :\

Still in html

2011-04-04T21:18:00.002+08:00

Gah.. I'm still in html mode. Hmm.. I've had a pretty gloom day today. Lots of hiccup-ing and soaking of facts. And so I explored dictionary.com. yes, I did. I actually explored dictionary.com, of all apps. Then I came across the word chimer.. something. and I thought it was chimerie but there was no such word. It was really familiar.. And so I went to my poem blog to check. My very first poem that I wrote. ah, so it was chimerical! I like to use the phrase > "chimerical terrestrial reverie" hehe yeah partly because it sounds chim, and well, they're literally three words that mean almost the same thing and can be used consecutively! :O

Oh yeah, why was today a gloomy day? That's cos lessons started and ended off with chinese =.= Well, I'm sure the weather played a part in it too. My head was always being attracted to the table for the first few hours of the day :S but I managed to pull through! :D

Alright. I suffer from short-term memory I think. I really planned to write about something, and I'm pretty sure I'd write an essay of 1000 words at least - without my rubbish, that is, haha! gah. I hope I'll remember it some other day. Till then, I've got stuff to revise: chinese(oral) and chem(speed of reaction) by this wednesday! :S And I've got to do a geography question on 'impacts of tourism' by next monday..

I'd be missing tine this friday again due to extra guzheng practice.. I'd also be late for ye as my gz prac would be from 1-5pm.. Hmm.. heard there's prayer walk this sat.. I wonder what time I'd reach by then... :S

Oh well, amidst all these events taking place this week, I must not lose focus again and perhaps it'd be great to start giving thanks to God for every little thing that He'd done and given unto me :D

Important dates

2011-04-01T00:47:00.002+08:00

Important dates

11 April - napfa
15 April - SYF rehearsal @ RP & NKF Perf @ Orchid CC.
16 April - SOP
19 April - SYF @ RP
21 April(if I'd not mistaken this one) - Oral Prelims.

Gah. my blogger's going haywire lately. I'm typing in edit html -.- can't type in compose otherwise there'd be no paragraphs in the post.. ugh. Hmm.. alright. I guess that's all the important dates to note.

Random title

2011-03-29T22:24:00.003+08:00

Red. Blue button.

Yeah, pretty random. Don't know why, but I guess the way to distract myself from thinking of upsetting thoughts, I think of random things. yes, even as random as a red or blue button. most probably would just look around for objects or words. and I just saying it out in my mind. Somehow I'd always get goosebumps for saying something that random to myself. Weird, but it kinda works =x

Haha.. well, I didn't know what to put as a heading. honestly :\ Hmm.. it's a pretty long day today.. but at least I started off the day right! I woke up on time and got to school on time :D And I even got a seat in the bus hehe. The day started off with 3 periods of A math. seems like a torture? about so. Rate of change is really... GAHH!! And I heard plane geometry's the hardest topic of the syllabus .. and we've yet to cover that!! =.= hmm.. but I guess for math and a math, it's just regular practicing.. I do hope it's the same for those two topics.. AND rate of change.

We did a compre during english period today. Carried on with probability during e math.. Learnt about probability diagrams. Then was E lit. gah. whole class got scolded for not looking through the CCM blog ): Hmm.. then ran 2.4 today. I'm slow as usual. like, really slow. and I'm not kidding when I say that. I'm even too embarrassed to say it. SS was next. pretty alright. Since it wasn't our SS teach, my class pretty much slacked as we copied down notes..

Had cca afterwards. Then I received news that my aunt (mom's side) just gave birth! yay! new baby cousin! hehehe a boy again. all of my cousins (mom's side) are boys =.=" Hmm.. went home with guof after cca and bought dinner for my mom and myself. mmm "zha yu" u-mian! :D :D

Came home to eat and catch the noose! hehe. Then tried to complete the english compre I did during english period today. Oh well, will be doing it tomorrow as well. so I've got all the time in the world to do it! :D well, till the end of this week (thurs. friday's e-learning day, need not come to school) anyway.

Oh well. it's pretty late and my hair's still wet :\ gahh .. I guess I'll go blow-dry it then get some rest! :D

Today

2011-03-28T22:41:00.002+08:00

And it shall start today. yupp. just started on my revision for prelim 1 that's gonna be like.. right after june hols ._. oh well. I guess it's actually good anyway. cos I think I'd forgotten some of physical geog after being submerged in human geog facts :s Oh well. I've been doing a lot of reading and taking down notes today. from my notes. haha well, draw mind maps, etc. well, okay, mindmap not yet. Hmm.. I still got monsoon forests to cover before I can draw the mindmap on Natural Vegetation. on ONE chapter. yes, one chapter, not topic. It's alright. I'm taking little steps at a time. starting with the freshest topics in my head right now (physical geog) :D So what did I cover today? Hmm.. Tropical rainforests, Temperate Coniferous forests and Mangrove forests. I'm really pretty motivated by chinese now. hehe. well, doing a paper in a quiet environment really helps and well, the previous paper (last week, chinese) that I did? yeah, I improved 13 marks! :D I could've passed this paper if I hadn't made a careless mistake and answered another question -.- Well, at least if I did get it wrong, at least there should be a mark somewheree ... gah. one more mark to pass -.- Oh well, it's not O lvls. so i'm not caring about the marks. AHHH anyone give me an antidote to be a genius in chinese for the hours that I'm gonna be doing chinese test papers, zuo wens and that ACTUAL O LVL PAPER!??!! DD; Was pretty much awake until math lesson. No, don't get me wrong, I didn't actually find it boring - neither did I actually find it interesting =x - but the weather was really gloomy.. And it poured like cats and dogs for 5 seconds - twice! and I actually counted - before going back to it's moderate rain mode. Hey, I'm not kidding. it really sounded there was hail or something :\ At least hail of small tiny ice pebbles. gah. Hmm. And finally, I'm learning the last chapter for math: Probability. It's pretty easy for now. Well, we've just started, so it should be easy. I actually can't wait to try out the difficult ones =x Yeah, I'll be stuck - as usual, but it's find anyway, no harm trying it, right? hehe :D And YESHH!! zuo wen's over. now to focus on my studies and guzheng. hehe! I'm beginning to look forward to everyday nowadays (: Hmmm... Went for dinner with my parents just now and bought/restocked some stationery. paid $15.95 for it. uh ........ =.= Gah, haven't restocked them in a long time... hehe yay! School starts at 9am tomorrow :D

long.

2011-03-27T21:53:00.006+08:00

Long.

The past few days had been really long and dreary for me, but I'm glad it's pretty much over now :D It's quite personal, so I've decided not to type it here.. oh well. Let's just say that pride had been a serious issue for me. And well, the constant debate of fear and pride. Just wanna thank God that he'd provided me with great friends who'd lent me a listening ear and comforted me. It's tough, fighting this battle, and quite stubborn of me to use just my own efforts in doing so.. but at least now that my eyes are open, I begin to see that I should've relied on God and that I have friends around me, who care for me, and it's good to share with them about my problems once in awhile - and not bottle them inside of me.

Well, aside from all that, sports day was one friday and LEE house won champion in cheering & secondary activities! :D We still lost to CHEW house though -.- They were the overall champion. But it's alright. At least I'll be able to leave this school with satisfying memories of sports day. hehe. Oh, and btw this year's sports day isn't about running, whatsoever, it was station games. Still, it was pretty fun. The one I liked most was the spinnopper..? or spinopper.. hmm.. Thing is, when I spinned it around my right foot about a couple of times, it flew out =.= haha, and a couple of times too! =x so my friend who stood beside me counting the number of times I jumped over the spinning ball laughed hahaha oh well, it was my first time playing with that anyway ._.

Nothing much to say about Saturday though. Hmm.. Today's sermon was pretty long, but I liked it. haha, it's probably because he also talked this part about being "meek" that was mentioned during one of the morning devotions this week (in school). Hmm .. I managed to pay attention for probably the first half of the sermon .. matt 5:3-7 or 8.. and then I started to drift off =.= gahh.. gloomy day today. Oh well, the two rainbows sure did brighten up my day :D Haven't seen those for long time..

Hmm.. and so now I'm busy doing some stuff. oh dear. forgot my medication today. ahh k better go take it now :s

Oh.

2011-03-23T20:04:00.002+08:00

it was so ..

embarrassing.

accidentally dropped a lens during an experiment in the physics lab. paid $6 for it -.-

Sigh. had my moments today. really embarrassing, awkward(many), etc. But I guess I wouldn't wanna talk about it. It's too.. well, you know, awkward.

I was daydreaming most of the time today. I remembered early in the morning this thought crossed my mind: the greatest achievement when I leave my school, is that I've created precious and the most wonderful memories in my 16 years of my life. Well, apparently, I don't know where that thought came from ._. But I figured it was true and someday, maybe the end of this year, I just might come up with an elaboration on that :D

I stayed back to do the chinese test paper. Totally lost focus when I came to do the second li jie wen da. No, it's wasn't the environment. It was noisy at all. It was so quiet I could hear my breathing. haha! jkjk.. It was just quiet. Thing is, I didn't understand much of the first passage. so hope of passing the paper went from 40% to 30%. Then I read the second passage - not even half of it - and I stopped to take a deep breath. 30%-10% ._. Am I really hopeless in chinese? I guess so :\

The paper ended at 4.20pm. I rushed back home to my bed! I was tweeting about my house. and yesterday, about my bed. hehe, homesick =x Anyways.. I rushed home to finish up on whatever homework that was left and even e math (to be handed up next monday). yay! :D More time for leisure and study. oh wait, and guzheng .. Talking about that, there's cca tomorrow. So..

TO ANY JUNIORS WHO DO STALK ME (which i so hopefully doubt there'd be any) I'M GONNA CHECK ON YOUR RECORDING TOMORROW DURING FEN ZU! >:D

Aside from all that, kimi ni todoke season 2 episode 10 is finally out!! Can't wait to watch it later!! :D :D

iron

2011-03-21T18:24:00.002+08:00

Just like Iron metal.

This morning I could barely get up because of my heavy head =.="
Really don't like falling sick because whenever I do, the word "weak" just constantly haunts me in my mind. And the only thing that I can do to make myself feel better is by studying -.- which, apparently, would make my headache far worse, but at least I feel.. mentally better, somewhat.

I didn't do much today. spent most of my time sleeping like a pig.. And since I skipped my chinese test today, I gotta do it tomorrow.. I've got other stuff to settle as well, like the stopping of gz lessons which is adding on to my headache now since I'd probably have to talk to my mom and that receptionist about the whole new rules and regulations this new boss put up. argh. Oh well, get it done once and for all and my focus will be mainly on studying, syf and church stuff (song writing, etc).

While i was mia in school today, I received news that my chinese teach change ): my new chinese teach is wu lao shi and I have no idea who he/she is.. heard the class is pretty noisy too. Hope it doesn't affect my learning during lessons.. Oh well, the good thing is, I no longer have to do the 10 scripts of bao zhang bao dao! yay! :D

Pretty glad that all - or at least most, of - the yan yu + guan yong yu is stuck in my head now (hopefully, permanently.) and I'd be quite ready for the chinese test tomorrow(: Just gotta revise more on the cheng yu though. Hmm .. now I'm pretty much free and I really don't wanna go back to bed. Probably may follow my parents to fetch my sis back from the camp cos I heard the medical doc didn't allow her to continue training since her mc's actually until this thursday =s

Hmm .. and I don't know why.. but I'm suddenly craving for sogurt... =x

yawn

2011-03-17T23:14:00.002+08:00

One step, Two step, Three ...

Yesterday - if I remembered the day right - I was on my way home, walking the underpass of serangoon mrt from the blue to the green one.. Then I saw this little boy that jumped from a white tile to the another. and only the white ones. hehe, brings back a lot of memories! I used to do that too. hehe. just that it's not only white, but the brown tiles as well. It's either full white or full brown anyway.

Well, I'd like to mention that because.. I think what gz tuan needs right now is progress. Yes, the big - no, HUGE - problem is that they talk. a lot. too much. Normally, I'd be quite okay with it, but you know, it's too much to the extent where they lack of discipline and that irritates me quite a bit.. When they talk, they don't listen to the important things to take note. So they end up playing the wrong thing and it affects people around her. They'd probably ask like, "oh, like that play one ah?" kind of thing .. But oh well, I've seen much improvement since the beginning of the year already and I believe that they are teachable :D and all they need now is discipline and self-control ..

Aside from guzheng matters, I begin to realise the importance of taking one step at a time and what great results this slow but steady process would come with. For this I must thank God for. For realising, that is (: Honestly, I think you guys should try it too. The best part is, you don't have to worry throughout the entire process because that's the part when you trust and put your faith in God, believing; having the assurance that everything will be all right :D

Alright, I better get going. gotta wake up real early tomorrow, 6am. school ends at 3pm tomorrow. I'LL SURVIVE! somehow.

stress is on

2011-03-15T22:59:00.002+08:00

BACK.

from ... um ... my table? okay, Im still at my table. haha! homework I guess. Just completed another compre. Have yet to complete ytd & today's compre's summary.. Shall do it tomorrow. Hmm.. I shall make this a short post. haha, nothing really much to say anyways.

I've got a busy week ahead with guzheng and church stuff.. wednesday morning to 12noon (I hope).. as for the rest of the week:

Thursday - 8.30am to 1pm gz prac AND 2pm to 6pm rehearsal for mini SYF concert.
Friday - 8.30am to 12.30pm mini SYF concert AND 12.30pm to 3.30pm sec 1 orientation..(compulsory)
Saturday - 8am to 9.30am english tuition in school AND 1pm to 5pm gz prac AND 5pm to 7pm YE AND 8pm to 10pm cell (maybe only)
Sunday - morning or afternoon cell (still not sure of the timing) AND 4pm to 6pm church.

Gotta finish all my homework and study for chinese test on monday. gah. no time no time..

SLEEP!

2011-03-14T23:46:00.002+08:00

ねむいねむいねむいねむいねむい ~-~

Woke up real early today - to me - at 7.10am. Real bad morning! I lost my comb, misplaced my rubberband, was almost late - but thank God I wasn't otherwise I'd accompany the other latecomers in standing up to play the gz. gosh. backache =.=

I'd realise it's been really really tough being a zheng leader. and I'd probably lost my strength to give the motivational talk I've always been wanting to give to pull them in each time they try to stray away and talk about other stuff and get distracted and all. If it wasn't for Sianling who helped me today, I think I'd probably just cancel my gz lesson and say that I was sick when i actually was just so mentally drained that I just wanted to sleep.

Thankfully, despite their short attention span and lack of discipline - somewhat - my zheng was never scolded during he zou :D However, that's probably because there are so many other major problems for lao shi to settle. And such little problems, he'd probably have no time & energy to settle it. Therefore, us zheng leaders have to do our part and discipline them in every way we can. But don't know why, I just feel so.. drained. even just by just teaching them casually. After today's prac, I felt they sucked my entire soul out of me =.=

Moody as I felt, I still had to control my emotions and I tried to remain calm. although I knew I may react a little cranky to any request. However, I still did it anyways. I took the chem tb from class for zoey - because she needed it badly and I was done with my chem hol hw anyway - and accompanied liming for lunch because nobody was accompanying her for lunch and she only had 30 minutes for lunch before she needed to go back to school for dance prac (house prac). besides, it was a birthday! It was probably the least I could do. I mean, after all, I didn't even remember to get her a birthday gift ):

Took a bath straight after I came home (I walked under the rain). Now I know about those rumours about the nuclear blast, etcetc and whatever acid rain blahblah. no, I didn't bathe immediately because of that. I did so because I was all sticky -.- and I wanted to be clean before plopping to the couch and take my nap for like, I don't know, 30mins++? hahaha! It felt really really good. very comfortable indeed. Orlie was sleeping at where I'd laid my head on the pillow. and she slept so soundly. The weather was cool. It was quiet. And I drifted off to sleep. hehe :D

Woke up after 30min++ of sleeping to prac gz before heading for gz lesson. Surprisingly met eunice on the train! hahaha! :D btw, eunice's my zheng III's assistant leader (: hehe. Apparently, her lesson is also at 6-7pm! the other teach. though. Lesson was funny as usual. Lao shi laughed at me making faces. I really don't know if I did, but I guess i did since she kept laughing at me =x

My parents and I decided to have dinner at nex. Picked up regina on the way. She joined us for dinner since she was alone for the night. Went to 'Hot Tomato' to have dinner :D Then walked around awhile before having dessert at dessertstory. I ate mango pudding, my parents shared mango pomelo & sago and regina ate champagne snow ice! :D yumyum.

Regina left soon after we left nex. My parents and I went home. Did a comprehension. 1 compre, 2 summaries, 1 compo and 1 situational writing left for english hw. just english. oh well. I'll finish it. somehow. haha :\

blast.

2011-03-12T23:14:00.003+08:00

おつかれ!

Had a crazy morning of gz prac from 8.30am-1pm. it was madness.. we played the same song over and over and over and over. I thought I was gonna drop my head on my guzheng with my hands on the strings of it. and no, it didn't end at 1pm.. of course not! It ended at 1.40pm instead. remaining about 40 min for the other song, guang ling san. hehe during the first recording - which my lao shi realised later after the "second" recording of another section of the song that the first and second recording was recorded because he forgot to turn the switch on - he said, "guang ling SHan .." ahhahaha! they way he said it was like.. =x eunice and I couldn't help but did the silent giggle. hehehe :D

The practice was good because it wasn't only fun but strict as well. Very disciplined, rather. I'd realised how disciplined my group became as well! They began to react quickly when I wanted their attention. so that's a good point there :D Another good point's that gz tuan has become kinda united and as a tuan, we're all highly disciplined - well, at least when it comes to he zou with lao shi ba =s - as all it took was merely 3 seconds to make sure the whole room is silent after lao shi put his hands up or signals with his hand swiped away, showing by what he terms it as "bu yao le".

As practice ended late, I was late for worship prac as well. by 30 minutes. but oh well. it wasn't much to worry about since we didn't have much of a problem with the prac. haha except for me getting the beat right for "beautiful saviour" :\ Glad the worship wasn't too bad I guess, considering it is the first time all of us played together as a band. haha actually, I think it's just max. as in, the difference. since I've played with eunice, ben and saul before.. and the guitarist that time was.. aaron. if I'm not wrong..

I was pretty much gloomy though. or rather, felt gloomy. Didn't know why. Then my mind suddenly thought of this: being "bad" isn't the worst, it's being "neutral" that is the worst. And I felt neutral. I felt NEUTRAL. why did I feel neutral in church? Wasn't I empowered by the Holy Spirit especially with that song "For All You've Done"? Shouldn't I be feeling happy I'm in church listening to Ps William teaching us about God's word. Being an avid christian, enthu about church and when I'm in church, listening to the gospel? Then I realised. my mind was elsewhere. it was faraway. I was beginning to worry for my sis again. This didn't mean that I wasn't listening to Ps William. nono, I was listening. I just felt.. neutral. right.

When Ps William talked about being ashamed of the gospel. I was reflecting again. About what I've done. And how much I've developed as an a.v.i.d. christian. I felt guilty about the things I've done before. However, I did feel some sense of encouragement when I realised how much I've developed so far, knowing that there're so many areas in my life that can be improved. So I guess yep. neutral feeling again. hah.. =s

I must thank God for this though. haha though I'm under this crazy and immense stress of cca and my studies and all the peer pressure (results, etc. though I wouldn't say a lot. but still, it's that little bit.) I'm feeling neutral. haha at least I'm not being happy. otherwise, there'd be something wrong with me alr. hahhaha! But don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I was never happy =.= it's just that .. well, not happy for long I guess. especially when there're constant reminders of ccas the following day or week.. or hw to be completed by next week.. gah..

Hmm.. went dinner with paul, luke amos, gerald, saul, eunice, martin, regina, max and steph today. And I went home alone since regina went with the others to play pool. and I missed my stop -.- so I walked back. or rather, since the road was a little bit complicated, I walked further down, crossed the overhead bridge and found a bus stop, took 65 to macpherson mrt then take the train down to serangoon mrt and walk home. it's a good thing Singapore's small! :D

Alright. I'd better get started on my holiday homework before retiring for the day (:

Bam

2011-03-10T20:15:00.002+08:00

.. とおもいます。

Have been quite pumped up about studying lately. I think it gave me a headache after the continuous hours of studying =.= So I've decided to give myself a break and not do anything today but relax and read my book.

Glad to say I'm done with my a math paper and chemistry ws as holiday homework. Now left with English, Chinese and Geography. Sigh. Am still thinking about whether or not to go for the BBQ this wednesday. Though I have a 50% part of me wanting to and not wanting to go. Besides, it'd my only free day in the week! ): Plus, I gotta prepare that TEN scripts for as chinese homework, not to mention two zuo yes. gah don't like chinese D;

Oh well. I told Rach I wouldn't be going already. I guess I really need all the rest I can get. Hmm.. anyways .. Today was quite productive for me, I spent most of my time doing hol hw/listening in class, taking down notes, etc. hehe I think I'm too glued to a math alr. I'm thinking of logarithms now. siao. and to think I used to say I hated it to so so very much. Not that I'm good at it now, but I'm beginning to be able to use the right laws and solve it without that much thinking. heh. just needs more practice I guess! :D

Hmm.. today's weather's really nice and cool. fitted for me to sleep right now.. gah .. but I'm starving.. and my mom just came home. so I should have dinner first.. gahh..

ねむい...

A math drill

2011-03-09T23:17:00.003+08:00

A math drill

that's right. added up to 5hrs+ of a math. consisting of a math holiday hw and merely two questions from my a math textbook (differentiation).

Today's pretty much slack. again. physics lesson was really relaxing as our teach (replacing mr pang temporary since he's doing his ippt.. hehe) teaches and give lame jokes as we learn and laugh along. hehe he's pretty cute as a teach too. hehe (:

Hmm .. next up was PE. 2.4km. oh gosh =.= my pe shirt gave me a scratching frenzy! I looked like some .. i dunno crazy person scratching herself while running =.=" hah! i pictured a chicken in my head ....

Anyways, next up was english and math. Must thank God once again for giving me the confidence to speak up, loud and clear (: although I wouldn't I say I wasn't scared cos I was shaking =.= literally. inside-out! they probably couldn't really see because I was standing behind the table and well, I was moving about in that spot anyway. haha however u visualize it, it's up to you. Just not the mr. bean dance! =x

Math was great! It seemed like someone finally drawed all the curtains - in this dark room - open and light was streaming it! YESH! I FINALLY UNDERSTAND VECTORS! YESHH!! Too much a math till I forget 'bout e math stuff =s that's bad.. oh well, I'll practice anyway. 'What really matters isn't how you start, but how you end.' -Glenn. the ... um .. camp instructor said so. yupp. I've got lots of time for practice. Just gotta learn to maximize time (:

a-ca(r)e-de-mics!

2011-03-08T20:44:00.003+08:00

A-CA-DE-MICS!

hehe today's pretty slack so I got to read 'vanished' most of the time during today's lessons :D English lesson was most entertaining, apparently. haha! We were practicing our oral (reading). And learnt to identify words that, when you say it out, somewhat joins together. like 'catch up' or 'save up'. You don't say them separately, in a way, for e.g. catCH uP. it's more of the flowy fluent kind. 'catchup'.

Hmm.. my group's presentation is shifted to tomorrow cos one of my dear group members was sick and went home after. Hope she gets well soon .. like, tomorrow .. Tomorrow's the last day of presentation. Don't know what'll happen if we don't get to present. And if I'm not wrong.. we've only got one period tomorrow! ): Anyways, had cca later. Well, recording. Guof, lydia and I had to play some parts of chun jie for my lao shi to record them down. Once it was done, I stayed back for awhile more - till 6pm+, waiting for guof to be done with assisting keely in teaching the sec 1s the basics of guzheng. the beat, to be exact. and play the song twinkle twinkle little star.

Meanwhile, I sat at a corner, reading 'vanished'. The plot's getting rather interesting and I've been glued to the book lately. Honestly didn't like the beginning though. But the author somehow managed to gradually change the main character's thinking though the overall attitude & behaviour is still the same - probably at the moment.. Hmm.. well, while I was reading, my lao shi called me over where he, keely and guof were. And say I like everyday also read books. meh. do I? =.= I know that I don't read as much as I did before. I still remembered when YE was on sunday, and after YE, I'd go to the couch and take out my book to start reading. Have heard some asking me about the reason I always read after YE.. or do I read a lot ... Honestly, I wouldn't even say it's much. really. really really really.

Hmm.. Just had dinner and I'm so full =x Gonna be doing a math practices since there's no homework now (:

Well.. besides holidays homework which I'll probably aim to finish by this week, if possible.

Gracious

2011-03-03T22:04:00.002+08:00

God is gracious! (:

He had yet again, proved me wrong of my instincts of failing geography (and physics). hehe. I'm really glad that He has shown me this point that I remembered .. somewhere.. : Studies doesn't exactly matter.

Well, that'd be true. To be living in this hectic world - in SINGAPORE -.- - The competition is tough and education is crucial. However, I'm glad God does not judge us by how long, how short, whether or not it includes a lot of bombarstic vocabulary, God looks at the heart. And that's really just good enough (:

And I'm on my way to completing my second song! yay yay yay! :DD I'm still considering whether or not I should add the bridge in because.. well, honestly, I'm still not sure how to add the tune to it, and there's the flow, etcetc. Besides, it's not up to me to decide. I still gotta pray about it right? :D Because this song is not mine, but God's. And it's not for me, but God.

Hmmm.. came back from school about hours ago and I'm really drained now ._. eesh. naughty gz group members made me raise my voice.. "talked" too much .. To the extent that I came home and collapsed on my bed. nah just kidding. I really was tired though. But I didn't collapse on my bed because I was all sticky -.-

hehe. oh well, I better get going. need loads of rest for tomorrow :s

Horrendous..

2011-03-02T19:00:00.004+08:00

The Horrendous results.

I don't think I'll be getting any Bs. except science. I think. physics probably pulled it down and I know that I've got some careless mistakes that I made in my chem paper.. But I must say, I'm surprised I passed physics because right after the paper, I felt like I'd already lost majority of the marks. Thank God I passed anyways :D

So.. nope, it doesn't mean the rest are As. as you can see, the title of this post is "the horrendous results". I think I've got a lot of Cs this term. hopefully. YES. scarily, hopefully. Because the weirdest thing is that when I'd no confidence in e math, I scored in it. it's my only A ..? & when I had confidence in getting at least a B4 for a math, I failed with a D7. ugh. stupid ct paper! GAHHHH!!!!! I had to vent my frustration and anger somewhere right. And so I did a math questions today, on - though it's not trigo, but - differentiation. Have no problems with chain rule. Got stuck with product rule for awhile, but had gotten used to it. Then my brain was fried, so I took a break. haha, shall continue with the rest of product rule and then move on to quotient rule (the tedious one) :D

Sigh oh well. oh. and geography. I think I'll get an F9 for it. actually, I really don't mind getting an F9. If my mind's actually thinking that way, then I'd say I'm really looking forward to seeing the F9 mark on my report book because it's gonna be my first F9 in my secondary school life!! :O Well, that's viewing it in the positive way.. Anyways, I did the geography assignment and passed it with 21/30. I'm glad to know that I've got one 7/8 for a question that came out in the o lvls. It gave me HOPE to score for questions in the future as such :DD

Hmmm.. and yesterday night I developed a sore throat. this morning it got really bad and it brought along mr. heavy-stone-on-my-head. So I skipped school today. Anyways, I'd rested a lot and I think I'm feeling much better now (: At least the headache's gone yeah. My throat's still a little sore, but I guess I just need to drink a little bit more water.

It's official - I can't watch anime on my laptop anymore T-T I tried. I really did! But my laptop refuses to load. and the space storage thingy became an issue.. well, AGAIN. and my leg's numb -.- haha okay, off topic. Hmmm.. and I think it may be due to limited space that I can't load videos fully/quickly/normally. even with good wifi reception. I really don't know what's taking up all the space. I really DON'T. I've been looking through all the files. I mean it, ALL of them. But nope, I saw nothing that could've even added up to 18 or 19 GB that actually occupied 31 point something GB in my C: drive. and when I try to transfer it to the other drive, it doesn't! It just doesn't move! In fact, it took up 3MB more in the C: drive. UGH. this is so driving me crazy!

Oh well, it's dinner time and I gotta go help my mom with the cooking. hehe (:

p.s. p.b.'s staying active.

Free time (:

2011-02-27T21:14:00.003+08:00

ohh yeah~

Time's on my side now :D

Service ended pretty early, so i had an early dinner too. Reached home at abt 8pm today. really early I might say! (: Hmmm .. I had some rest for like.. 40 minutes, just lying on my bed like a slop =x ahhahaha~ feels so good to be in bed!!

Hmmm.. gonna start revising all that I've studied yesterday for chinese.. zzz.. and I just remembered I've got gz tomorrow. oh dear. didn't prac much. can't prac now though, it's 9pm+ That's .. really late.

Just had dinner long ago right.. and now im craving for soup. And when I told that to my mom, my mom said, "cos you're cantonese!" eeesh. But really, I miss drinking soup!! ):

Anyways, I better get going then. hehe.

still studying..

2011-02-26T23:02:00.003+08:00

Deep, halcyon repose.

well, it wasn't deep since I dreamt, but it sure was a long rest :D

that I had. yesterday. night.

Only got to have wednesday as a relaxing day before the spam of events followed on thursday, friday and today. thursday I had cip, had lots of fun painting. got irritated with some who weren't serious, but overall was quite satisfied with the paintings! :D And I was glad that by us painting for the old folks, they will, in a way, receive love from our hardwork of painting! Just hope that the rain - that came about 10 minutes after we were almost done - didn't ruin it.. ):

Hmmm.. I got to talk to some of my classmates (in a group) and have been observing their behaviour and such. Realised that my class isn't actually that awesome as last year. or perhaps, ever? Oh well, perhaps this year's stressful, so instead of following the theme of the year "we are one", they literally compete. well, in academics. A person who receives stress and cannot handle it > change of behaviour > most prob. bad, so friends may turn away from the her, sometimes even gossip. That's what I uncovered from the sad truth so far. Nonetheless, our class is still quite enthusiastic despite all the changes..

Thursday and Friday's weather made me so drowsy that I just wanted to sleep for the entire day or something. hibernation? :s Friday's cca prac was kinda slow cos lao shi spent 3.5 hours on two sections out of about 6 sections of ONE song, editing it. Today's prac was really long too, but it ended off quite disappointing because.. well, the edits were quite confusing and fen zu is really needed to clarify the complicated parts & simple, but difficult beats..

Well, today's music network.. was .. bad to start off with. I felt really bad.. I clumsily spilled coffee on jie jie catherine's jeans! ahhhh!! I felt so bad ): Then I tried to clean it up with some help, but the floor was still sticky. ughh... why do I have to be so clumsy!! )):

The rest of music network was kinda fun :D except the part where I had to apologise everytime I see jie jie catherine. cos I really really feel bad about it ): and i'm still feeling bad about it!! ):

Hmmm .. just studied a lot of chinese. but gotta revise them tomorrow. just to make sure it's in my head.. Alright. shall end off here.

Love today (:

2011-02-23T20:05:00.002+08:00

Awesome.

gahh.. wanted to put a verse here.. but apparently forgot the verse.. I know it's in matthew though. It's something about being offended, leading to betrayal and hatred.

Chapel. Glenn came up to speak to us today :D he shared about his life two days ago. Hmm.. I wouldn't type it out here, but I don't mind telling you if you're interested to know yeah? :D Hmmm.. basically about how we treat everyone. Stranger > friend > best friend > parents. The higher it goes (left to right), the more we often set certain expectations of them that they are not aware of - sometimes, even we are not aware of it. And when the expectation is not met, we get angry at them. I find it really true because I've experienced it before. Not once, not twice, but a lot of times.

In fact, when I read the verse he flashed on the ppt slide, I found it really .. well, a really short summary of my sister's life. Just that, she experienced the whole "parents-failed-to-meet-her-expectations-of-them" (without even telling them her expectations of them) then it lead to her feeling offended, angry. Then she betrays them by expressing their anger through actions. They feel hurt.

Definition of betray by someone who's name i forgot: (roughly) to protect oneself at the expense of their brothers and sisters. (in this case, everyone around us)

Yupp. Then it lead to hatred. won't go into details.

Amabel came over to watch two movies with me. Initially was one, but she wanted to watch black swan so badly =.=" YES, i watched. black. swan.

Oh yes, the first movie we watched was The Tourist. hehe. it was pretty funny. but didn't get to see alexander -.- so... could say that I didn't quite like the ending. Black swan wasn't as scary as Paul said it was. Well, it wasn't as scary when I predicted a scary part and I turned away from the tv and covered my ears till amabel tapped on my shoulder to tell me it's over =x The other parts were pretty alright. There were horrific faces too. But it kinda reminded me of some anime.. or some disney movie I watched before. the eyes were really scary. very very scary. Oh well. There were many parts of the movie that I still don't get though. So is her mom really mentally ill? What's she suffering from? There were many scenes; the actual, her thoughts of what she thought happened/her hallucinations.

I really liked what she said at the end, it resembled a few quotes I remembered from novels. One of the few, "I just wanna be pretty." In the beginning part of Black Swan, she told her teach this, "I want to be perfect." Her last sentence she said was, "It was perfect." Well, that novel with the "I just wanna be pretty" quote didn't end of with that, but the same idea was there.

Hmm.. the movie's really good. Wouldn't recommend it to those who can't stand gruesome and sexual scenes though. Otherwise, you'd be concentrating too much on it and not the full picture = not really enjoying the movie.

Alright. Besides that, thank God I'm free today 'cos I got to continue with the new song! :DD Alright. back to anime. hehe.

finally! :D

2011-02-22T15:41:00.003+08:00

Seaweed!!

is awesome :D

A math was .. well, the school was evil. they never were angels anyway. They were devils in disguise .... :O haha! jkjk. Hmmm, a math paper was horrendous. that I can definitely state as an official fact. it's official. I'd probably may even fail it. I can't believe they added other chapters in and never included in the test topics table (topics to study for). what a last - memoriable - common test test paper in my secondary life! Hmm.. yupp. it's the last - there's no common test 2. Next up: prelim 1.

Gonna be chionging like mad again after some rest. Have been soaking my head in knowledge for too long and the blabbering from the teach(s)'re giving me headaches =.= I think everyone in my class felt almost too reckless to concentrate on the lessons that followed after the a math test. Oh well, we're all demoralised, but at least if these questions do happen to come out in o lvls, at least we'd know how to solve it then! (:

I've concluded to do my best in everything to glorify God and besides, it's to my benefit too. About the results of whether I did well or not, doesn't really matter as long as I did my best. But with a teachable heart, I'll definitely be looking forward to knowing where I got wrong and find solutions to solve it so I wouldn't make such mistakes in future. Part of the little steps to almost perfection, I'd say.

Ahh.. besides all that, I've got to do something about the space storage in my laptop. The stuff's occupying too much space.. again =.=" Don't really understand why though. I don't have much stuff inside anyway! grr.. since now common tests are over, I suppose I've got more time on my hands to deal with these matters which were once a 鸡毛蒜皮的事 :D

Another good news: my school eng tuition's shifted to next saturday! So now I won't be late for music network this saturday. Thank God! :DD

Later I'm gonna have another guzheng lesson .. gah.. due to inflexibility of the "person", I've got no other slots - in this week - therefore only able to attend the lesson today. Quite flustered about it though. however, am still looking forward to it! (: my lao shi cut her hair!! I couldn't recognise her yesterday some more! hehe seems like keely couldn't too =x gahahah! Now she looks like a korean ... ahhaha =P

Alright. since I'm free now, I shall go catch up on some anime! :D

Soon.

2011-02-20T21:29:00.002+08:00

Rest. Soon.

I'm getting my rest soon.

It's true, there's nothing you can do when you don't even know what's going on & that the only clue or evidence you have to solve this mystery is a stick. yes, a stick, no thumbprints, whatsoever. just a stick. a stick at the "crime scene".

Oh what am I talking anyway.

Free, for now.

2011-02-20T01:45:00.002+08:00

Preparation .. Hmmm ..

I'm only typing this cos I've got some time and wel, I'm trying to finish my fruit .. my brain's not really working anymore :s I've decided to continue tomorrow. I hope I can finish by tomorrow though.. :\

Yesterday, at TINE, learnt about preparation.. well, not that much, but I got the gist of it. hahah hmmm... and apparently my lao shi talked about it today. I've been feeling rather discouraged each time my lao shi criticises me; my abilities in leading the group when I've already put in all my effort in doing my best to lead/teach/discipline them. I just don't see how he sees is as "not enough". Perhaps his ways of handling it would definitely be much more different. Sigh. I don't know. He's been disturbing me a lot lately. I know sometimes he just wanna ka chiao, sometimes I can handle that, but sometimes he just goes overboard and he draws all the negative attention on me and I just go red like a red tomato and feel like I never want to come for cca ever again. Sigh. Oh well, heck. I'm getting out after SYF. till then, I gotta ren -.- oh well, see how things go.. :\

I'm still bothered about the issue about my sister. just when I thought I'd gotten over it when i casually brought it up to my senior who kinda knows my sis. My heart wasn't beating as fast as today when Ps William talked about the gays ... and the love bites ... It just triggered some emotions inside of me and I nearly teared. I guess I'm still caught in the trauma or something. Still learning to accept it though. I'm just afraid that there might be another one.. at wheelock place ..? sigh. I need God. I really really need God.

Aside from those negative thoughts, I'm really really impressed with myself today. Especially during practice, in terms of technical abilities, I was quite surprised to be able to play with that standard in a band especially when it's actually only my second time playing in a band .. I must thank God for speaking to Ben about the worship songs and I think they were really good starters for me to get back on track after the first incident ..... I've gained a lot of confidence through today's worship and I'm now much more motivated in learning more about chords (fill-ins, transposing, etc) as it would really come in handy when I compose future songs; coming up with the chords would be much easier and more convenient as well.

And great news! I've found my expert! Moses! MUAHAHA! I just need to find a way to get to talk to him more and interview him.. though I know he's more of the solo, I think he could teach me some skills whereby he plays the parts which sound intense, yet with moderate volume. But then again, all of these improvisations, to fit in the song, I would depend on how the Holy Spirit leads me to play and God's presence to give me the warmth; confidence and help me go into worship, and - being part of the band - help to lead ye in worship.

Another accomplishment to note! I'm done with 3/4 of my geog assignment! MUAHAHHA!! now left blast furnace and a bit of metals reaction with cold water & steam .. for chem. GWAAAAAHHHH!!!!

"imready!imready!imready!imready!" - Spongebob Squarepants advert..?

Without music

2011-02-16T15:36:00.002+08:00

Blogging without music

for the first time - I think.

and man does it feel weird to be typing on my laptop again :\ I think I'm really missing my buttons.. i miss my old phone!! :\

Have been sleeping late..
rahh. I hope I can sleep earlier today. Actually, I MUST sleep earlier today. I've got e math common test tomorrow!! GAHHHH!!

Anyways, I'm really glad I'm able to engage in some close to personal conversations with some of my classmates. Really thank God that they were willing to open up to me :D Apparently, one of my classmates whom I've talked to today - while we were talking.. - she suddenly said, "Eh?!! You class esther right? ahhhaha! You're living up to your role! hhaaha why you so enthu ah?" Um... :\ ahhaha.. well ... I did tell her that I know how stressed up we all are with sudden random people in class being top in class for a subject.

I think almost everyone topped the class in an area before. Either that, or scored top few. My class is really competitive and I think there are some who might feel weary and really want to give up. Mrs Ong, my second form teach, aka cell group teach, told us that this year is a year that we all support one another and motivating each other to study and strive for the best. Sadly, I don't see it. I don't see much of that support.

We may look really bonded. But as I took a step outside to look at my class, I see much improvement is needed. There's far too many teasing, and distractions, and behaviours far too... well, let's just say it is alright to joke, but joking far too much, it's not only irritating, but worrying as well. Some don't know when to stop, and I really think they should just start to think for others just a bit, you know? sigh. can't take it when they keep doing so.

Anyways, I really look forward to fulfilling my role/duty as an Esther and I sincerely want to reach out to those who need help. It would - at the very least - make my life meaningful (:

Know what? I think I just found the solution: Just thank Him in every way possible :D

Relax

2011-02-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

Relax

Today's pretty much relaxing for me even though I had to come home to spam lian bi and chinese cheng yu - not forgetting to revise through the yan yu and guan yong yu.. Apparently, I have absolutely no problem memorising yan yu and guan yong yu, but when it comes to cheng yu, it's a big

CMI.

Oh well. it's chinese. I'm chinese. I gotta BE like one right? cheng yu is die die must know - at least the super common ones. sadly, there're no common ones - not that I know of - here. well, there're a few.. like..... 5..... out of .. 45 cheng yu? right.. i'll so pass on this one.

Revision for other subjects have been good, especially geography. I began to grasp the important concepts and make links to the other indicators/factors. pretty easy as it always ends with better/poorer standard of living & quality of life or higher GDP. most of them.

As for lit and e math... have yet to start studying for it.. =.= but will do so tomorrow. and e math, I shall spam a whole day of it on wednesday. and spend the days before wednesday to do some reading..

... and I JUST remembered I've yet to buy coloured papers for my classmates to write their prayer requests down =.=" so much for being a good class esther :\ oh well, will try to get them asap! Hmmm.. oh .. that reminds me.. mass prayer cell on wednesday. GAHH!! I'M SO FORGETFUL! I forgot to mass sms the entire class to tell me who wanted to go .. -.-

sigh. why is it always when common tests start, everything's just splat right there?? sat playing keys also. someone get me a pillow! =.=

nightmare

2011-02-12T16:33:00.010+08:00

that nightmare.

woke up pretty late.. well, that'd been great since I'd rested more right? thing is.. I had a nightmare .. it's vague in my mind - but still in my mind. No, it isn't a huge giant snail chasing me at super sonic speed even though that's really impossible since snails can only be that small and they're really slow. unless I'm slower than a snail. .. okay, it's still gross anyways. I'd totally freak out and not sleep if I really did have such a nightmare :\

The thing I hate about bad dreams is that they practically haunt you for the rest of the day. And it's worse when you don't have someone there to distract you from it all to stabilize your mind a bit =.= well, so from that statement, you'd have already guessed; I've been alone the entire day ): my dad went out for work in the morning, so I didn't see him, my mom's spent most of her time cooking and cutting orlie's fur. (btw, she looks super weird now :\) and I was busy studying in my room. so I'm just left with my room of four walls, me and my thoughts. and pen and paper. and notes. and p geography textbook.

Sigh. I'm really gonna be alone tonight. My mom's going for that dinner in church today. oh well. I'd probably be studying or watching anime again. haha .. and hopefully that thought would go away..

~

I've falling in love with this song. I wanna get the scores!! I mean, you know, individual one, not group one..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzW2NMz-YzA

this is the song I'm currently playing.. apparently it's a bit different.. and um.. I didn't quite like her front part =x

ohohoh!! this is the song that guof wanted to play in finals of gz competition last year! (: this song's really awesome :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNO95zt3MCQ&feature=related

this is the crazy song we all had to play in prelim. round -.-

Also just sent in 2009 SYF songs (2) to a file in my laptop. sho awesome! I think we were totally awesome :D & I think it's the most memoriable because of the incidents that happened in that SYF. hehe. brings back so much memories when I was playing percussion.. I was playing the marimba, glockenspiel (or glockenspeil) and the diao bo (cymbal thingy for rolling.) which can be heard at the end of the song "yao zu wu qu". oh yeah, the other song is "shan xi diao".

hehe. shall go listen to it again ^-^

Mad with work

2011-02-10T21:37:00.002+08:00

Mad with work

studying, rather.

It would seem I'm getting used to sec 4 life already; come home, head straight for my room, put my bag down, take out all the studying materials (since tests are up, there's no hw.. not much at least ..), put my bottle on my desk, take my giam chai, sit on my chair, take out a pen and start to wreck my brains.

I've realised it's become a daily routine which is good, in a way. But then again, it's either too much workload, or that I can't sleep that I feel so extremely tired when I walk home. My studying, however, is not really affected. Not till today I guess. Today's probably the second time already. I was really tired from studying yan yu =.= (btw, i realised I memorised the wrong one. thankfully I didn't memorise all of it wrong, at least I memorised 10 out of 25 that was needed to memorise. Apparently, I got the numbers for yan yu and guan yong yu mixed -.-) so I dozed off while studying yanyu. I woke up 5 minutes later to set my phone alarm to another 15 minutes. Unfortunately, due to this bad habit of mine, I snoozed it again for a few times then changed it to 1h later - from the time I slept and kept snoozing the alarm.

I slept pretty long and I'm more awake and alert now. Just took a bath as well. Today was really really warm to the extent I really felt like I was melting T-T No saul, I'm not hot, I'm cool. (ice-cream)

Anyways, I'm currently studying for ss sbq tomorrow. memorizing the format and a few useful words I can use to describe situations and such. There's gonna be an inference and usefulness question. I hope I wouldn't spend too much time on the usefulness question though .. and I hope so badly I wouldn't infer wrongly T_T

Hmmm.. aside from all the work, I've been watching anime~ muahaha! a great stress-relief and motivation to study more! :D Well, to play more, there's a guilty feeling of not studying, well, to me that is. So I guess watching anime, in a way, is a good thing =x

After school today, was on my way to optical centre shop to collect my contacts - only to find out that they were closed today .. or rather, at that time =.= Oh well, on my way there, I learnt a new word! I was so interested in the names of animes. Apparently, the first name that came to my mine was kazehaya. hehe, cos kaze = wind. and I've been seeing that kanji word a lot recently. kazehaya isn't a word. so I searched haya. haya = fast. cos hayaku is used when you want to hurry a person, right? hmmm.. hehe. then I looked through the jap. dictionary of the words that contain haya, I saw hayane. Oo.

早ね = go to bed early.

yeah, totally.

bit by bit

2011-02-09T14:44:00.006+08:00

うん! (:

I've had a really really great day today! :D despite the disappointing results (class tests), I managed to enjoy chapel. hehe :D

Well, today Ms yuan (teach in charge of Christian Fellowship) was telling us about REST. ah, sounds familiar? hehe. Yepp! Talked about Sabbath and all that. halfway I nearly dozed off, but my mind was conscious, so I got the gist of that part .. heh heh. Some parts of what she said was exactly what .. (oops, I forgot that pastor's name) that pastor preached the other day - I think two weeks ago ..? About God resting on the seventh day, an example to show us that we need to rest and all that.

After chapel, Mr Glenn (I forgot how to spell), gave us a last 15 minutes of wrapping up of what we learnt through the breakthru camp. I thought what he said was true; about the change. We don't experience it through the camp, we experience that real breakthru after the camp. No wonder, I felt almost nothing when he gave us the talks. I didn't feel motivated at all. But when I started using his advice, with the support I get from my friends, and when we really face this first obstacle - first common test, I begin to feel this mini breakthroughs. They're not a big BAM, just little ones. And with each, much sense of satisfactory.

Here's a verse i remembered him mentioning:

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to have attained this. Instead, I am single-minded: Forgetting the things that are behind and reaching out for the things that are ahead, with this goal in mind, I strive toward the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
- Phil 3:13-14.

He showed us a 3-min video clip of Derek Redman (Forgot how to spell, again. =.=). It was about his perseverance when he ran his last race before he had to retire at the age of 30. (youth olympics, if im not wrong). While sprinting, he tore a muscle ligament and he knelt down on the racetrack while the others ran ahead of him. The race ended, but the video was not over, the show was not over. The camera was facing Derek, as he slowly stood up and continued on with the race. It looked funny, people - that were watching ah - laughed. yah, he did look awkward. But when I thought about the pain that he was dealing with, I was suddenly so tense. His father came running down the stairs, 2 security guards actually apprehended him, but he shouted, "That's my son!" And he ran pass them and came to support his son. This was not showed in that short 3-min video clip. Mr Glenn was explaining it to us. I was imagining it, and couldn't help but tear. "Derek didn't know it was his father until he turned to face him," Mr Glenn said, "That's why you saw that he cried after realising it was his father." I gulped, I felt tears suddenly forcefully, wanting to come out. Derek finished the race with the audience clapping ever so loudly, supporting and congratulating him.

Hmmm .. shall go find it. Anyways, before this breakthru thingy, esthers had to gather to meet up with Ms Ho for a meeting. It was regarding mass prayer call every wednesday, 1.30pm-2.15pm. I really do home I can encourage my class peeps to go!! :\ Hmm .. went back to class right after the breakthru thingy and when I heard I was gonna take the same bus as zoey (I was sitting beside her for chapel) and I asked if she was eating lunch cos she has piano at 2.30pm.. Then she said she wasn't. And I remembered I bought choc. waffle during recess. I wanted to eat it for lunch, but the moment she said she wasn't eating lunch, I gave her the waffle. hehe, I felt so great doing that :D

Back home now. will be studying pretty soon. will be watching one ep of the 3 animes before I start xD haha, k that's all.

~

alright! i found it. the first video has more explanation though.

this video is similar to the one I watched, don't think the music is the same though. it shows most of it. at least out of the three videos.

this is the christian version :P

Sense of accomplishment

2011-02-08T22:50:00.002+08:00

Sense of accomplishment.

somewhat..

Completed the lessons and quiz for physics last night and chem quiz this morning. (btw, it's e-learning day today) managed to learn a lot of things through e-learning! :D For example, I learnt a new whole new topic (in detail) for physics, I've found out how to do mole concept (like, finally!) though I got one wrong for the quiz... meh. oh well, needs practice practice! :\

Hmm.. anyways, I didn't have enough time to finish up my e math homework though - it expires at 7pm today, so I should have enough time to finish it up after I get home.. - cos I had a gz perf. at 11.30am, and already people were late.. well, we were suppose to reach there by 10am. Anyways, guof & keely did a debrief and so on.. After the performance, we all had lunch together before cca at 12.30pm. Well, because the whole programme was actually pushed back by like, 30 minutes, I think, we finished bringing up our intruments at 12.30pm. So we started cca at 1pm instead. but cca dragged on from 4.30pm to 5.30pm ... Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun today! :D

I ran up and down up and down to settle the printing of the new scores. Apparently, ms ng - whom keely, guof and i requested to help us print the scores in the staff room - photocopied it wrongly and printed extra 17 sets of zheng III scores instead of 17 sets of zheng II scores =s

Anyways, I had to make a few trips 2nd to 3rd floor to tell my assistant zheng leaders what to do first and what must be done before starting on the new song, etc, 3rd to 4th floor to look for guof and keely to collect the scores from ms ng. After sorting out all the pages to zheng I and III, I realised the error =.= oh well, I looked for keely (4th floor when I was at 3rd floor with guof) as guof instructed me to do so and dragged her down to the 2nd floor (staff room level) to look for a teach to help us photocopy zheng II scores.. so when we finally found a teach, ms wong, who used to be my a math and e math teach last year, we waited outside.

I ran back to my zheng (3rd) floor and passed by lao shi. Then he told me that my zheng went up into the guzheng room cos it was too hot outside .. aww :D hmmm .. then here comes the sense of accomplishment part! My group was really cooperative and they were really nice and I could see that they're better in terms of discipline - even if it was just a bit of improvement. I could tell it was a whole lot better anyway (: Hmmm .. managed to finish the first song pretty quick because they were so cooperative :D lao shi somehow always ka chiao my group people then cannot teach properly.. then always have to pause awhile, then hear giggles as some of them turn to look at lao shi's direction. and I'll always give the -.- face. then he'd go back to his laptop to do his thing. haha!

Later we three ldrs had a meeting with lao shi to discuss on the pai zi (the beat) of the new song. and to clarify certain things before we returned to our zhengs and taught them the new song. I was wondering how the people in my zheng so guai today =x haha, maybe because lao shi's inside the room. ahhaha. oh well, but he made the atmosphere less tense whenever he comes over to us to disturb us a bit =x I kinda like the atmosphere. they were disciplined; they laughed at the appropriate times and stopped all that they're doing when I'm telling them what to do and what not to do, or how to play certain parts. all eyes and ears open. attentiveness, alertness, all there! :O This really made my job way easier! (:

He zou (all the groups come into the gz room to play tgh) was great too. lao shi joked a little, but everyone knows that we could only laugh for awhile and when he gets serious, so does everyone. hmmm.. so it's not only my zheng that seemed pretty much disciplined today.. that's very good! :DD Hmmm.. anyways, today didn't have jap, so I went straight home while some of my age-group gz mates went to.. nex, I think. guof pangseh-ed me too ): Oh well, I do have orlie at home to accompany me (:

Watched episode 4 of kimi ni todoke season 2. Episode 5 has yet to come out!!! haha. oh well, I shall watch the other 3 or 4 animes for the time being .. Anyways, I just finished studying yan yu too. ahh.. love that sense of accomplishment! (:

doushite?? :\

2011-02-07T18:35:00.002+08:00

Doushitedoushite :\

Had a really bad day today. But I shan't talk about it.. =.=" Oh well, there are good news too. I finally passed my chinese paper! woohoo!! :DD bad news for chinese? i failed compo -.- another good thing? I passed the si han (the one i did with the paper). it's simply a big accomplishment for me :D Sigh. thing is, without the first section (chinese paper), I would've failed. like, terribly =.= like.. one digit .........

Have been having headache the entire day so all the cheering from archer and dodsworth house while us sec 4s were having chinese lessons (some of us, cos it's banded) made things only worse. In fact, i think today was my first time falling asleep during chinese lesson. well, just dozing off for like a few minutes =x but hey, I wasn't caught despite where I sat - which was just a seat behind denise who was sitting right in front of where lao shi always stood at most of the time..

Hmmm .. A lot of tests ahead and it cts start on friday - ss. thursday there's a chem quiz on mole concept .. grr ... Anyways, tomorrow's e-learning day! yay! not. I've got to reach school by 10am for the preparations to be done for the perf. at 11.30am, if I'm not wrong. yes, I don't know how I'll be able to do my e-learning alr -.-"

Anyways, with all that aside, I've decided to start studying ss today .. well, there's apparently only one seq and only one part of the chapter that my ss teach taught us... so I'm guessing all i have to do is memorize that page. and read through the others - those that I've filled in the blanks, of course. pretty much only 2 pages. so memorize 3 pages. Should be okay ..

Next monday there's eng formal letter and and chinese paper (we're having a lot of chinese test papers now). So I'll probably do chinese today too.. just to let all the cheng yu, yan yu & guan yong yu sink in yeah .. Oh well. I did my studying schedule during my free period and apparently, it miraculously filled the whole page. guess what? I didn't even write the chapters to study. I merely wrote down which subjects to study for which day. and just like that, it filled up the entire page, leaving barely 1/4 of the page blank. Well.. come to think of it, that isn't so bad I guess ..

hehe. my mom gave me a new water bottle. hehe. hehe :DD okay I sound so deprived =x haha! I like the cap.. so smooth and nice to turn :P Anyways, I placed it on my desk and denise accidentally swiped it and it fell to the floor.. D: first day and it got injured D;

Had a surprise that Lee house meeting today was all the activites.. like skipping, all the funny funny and weird games.. I didn't know it was all those relaxing games though. So initially I kinda dreaded it when I heard there was Lee house prac - not cheer - today. but when amabel, crystal and I went for it.. we were basically walking around to waste time =x oh well, can't help it when I've got a headache right. and all I just wanted to do was sleep :\

Anyways, should probably get started, but shan't drain too much of my energy. my eyes seem to be closing :s

Keeping it short

2011-02-06T02:00:00.003+08:00

It's saturday, btw.

I've recovered.
I'm glad I went out today. it was good.
thanks martin & saul for listening (:

Both houses I went to were noisy.
got a bit of a headache from all that ...

Came home, my sis was not home yet - the usual. it's 2.02am right now and yup. I'm guessing she's coming home in another 3 hours' time. most probably. or later. or rather, earlier. don't worry, I don't hate her. I'll never hate her. no matter how .. she may be, I'll love her all the same. unfortunately, I can't love her like how God loves me. I can only try to love her with all my heart. but it's all the same, I love her no matter who she becomes :D

Hmmm ... currently stuck at a trigo question. shall leave it for tomorrow. my brain's wrecked up and im mentally & emotionally drained already. night all! :D

CNYCNY (:

2011-02-05T01:56:00.005+08:00

CNY (:

(It's still Friday for me) Happy late chinese new year 兔 all! :DD

On wednesday, my school had the CNY celebration and it was totally awesome! Well, except for the part when I did something extremely wrong and super uber duper obvious and hoped no one saw until my assist. ldr went, "Vanessa!" and "Oops!!" i went. crap -.-" I missed one part of the ending. where everyone used their left & right hand I only used my right hand. oh crap ._." I'll remember this one for life. the memorable last cny celebration in my secondary school life and I kind of screwed it up on this part :\

Anyways, this time, the teachers performed as well! Mr Pang played er hu! :DD yay!! go pangpang! :DD hehe. Ms J, my pure geog. teach for a term (or two) danced! ballet! :O Really smooth & elegant! the crowd roared when she took her bow before she flew to the side of the stage(backstage).

Thursday morning was.. well, I wouldn't wanna talk about that. I'll just leave everything to God :D That's exactly what I should do. yupp. I just did my QT too & had a pretty long prayer about it. but I'm sure everything will be fine (:

Hmmm.. oh yes! thursday morning. Well, it was pretty much of a drag till afternoon. Went to my grandparent's (dad's side) house and met up with my cousins :D one of them didn't turn up though. We played monopoly deal and I almost won!! by a set -.- My sis was practically stealing my money DD: Today played monopoly deal at shaunald's place with eunice, grace, annette and shaunald. Played two games before I had to leave. Eunice and Annette won. the first game.. I could do nothing, really, except to put down cards that demand for more and more money. the properties weren't the ones I needed either. sob. The second round, yet again, I was one set away from winning!! GAHH!!! and I don't know why but I got so much $$ again =.=

Anyways, thursday afternoon.. While we ate lunch, my cousins & sis & I were sitting at the small table. The usual spot we always sat at, except that my grandmother was the addition to our "group" hehe. Due to her operation, (she fractured her hipbone) she's not allowed to walk, the most she could walk is 3-4 steps. after that, she'd have an extremely high risk for falling. So everyone was practically going frantic whenever she tried to stand up. It's pretty difficult to look after her like this though.. well, I mean, cause she has dementia.. (is that how u spell it..?) and I really must thank God for having provide a new maid. I hope she'd not be like the previous. I really really hope so. I don't want another to spoil my impressions of maids. please, not another.

Talking about maids, my maid texted me that morning, wishing me happy cny :D love her ttm! (: I wonder how her little baby's doing now :P I haven't paid her a visit ever since she left.. ):

Hmmm .. oh right. today ... we woke up pretty early and headed over to my mom's uncle's place. aka, her cousins(uncle's daughters), aka my aunts(the daughters). once 26(ashley) and the other, 30(vivian). ashley's getting married soon!! to.. i don't know how to spell his name. oh well. sigh. well see when I see the wedding cards soon! hehe i heard it's this year ... hmmmm ....

We brought orlie out the entire day from my mom's uncle's place to vicki's place (oh yeah, that dog has lived for 14 years. yupp. not kidding. ever since I was little, vicki has always loved to hug my leg -.- oh wait! vicki was big enough to pound on me =.= poor me T-T I miss vicki so much! I only get to see him once a year though.. ): Heard he's not feeling well.. his jaws/teeth chattered a lot yesterday & he sleeps a lot nowadays.. really missing the way he used to be.. Well, at least he's still barking (:

Today wasn't as tiring as I thought it'd be.. probably because of all the naps in the car.. well.. i practically travelled from the north east to jurong east (my aunt's place) and then down to bukit panjang then to bishan to drop my sister off there and to shaunald's place. whoa. my no wonder my dad's so tired.. poor him ): He totally deserves to sleep. should've told my mom to go eat dinner together and buy dinner back for him while he rests .. Hmmm .. why didn't I mention my sis? easy. she's sleeping. like a pig. yeah.... she pretty much didn't get much of it yesterday.. night/this early early morning.

Despite after doing my QT, I still have this little concern drawn towards her as she shows me videos that I really can't seem to understand how "nice" it is. If this is what clubbing does to people, I'll ban myself from clubbing. seriously.

It is 3.04am now.. and I stare at my laptop screen. thinking about what she just said probably 10-15 minutes ago. shocked. almost paralyzed. petrified. yes, petrified. I don't know who she is anymore. can someone please tell me who she is to me? Because I have no idea who this stranger is the lives across my room in my house. Where's my sister? Where's the one who's rebellious in the way us sisters used to be? Where is she when I need her? Where is she when I want to tell her all my secrets and have her laugh at every single one of them? I don't know. She disappeared. She began disappearing 2 months ago. And she just disappeared. every single part of her heart that I recognised. gone. I don't think I can handle this. I may be young and mature. But I am stilll young. I'm still her younger sister! how can she do this to me! how ..

Thursday - Monday

2011-01-31T17:52:00.002+08:00

A big catchup! :D

As you all probably know, I do have poor memory at things and doing this big catchup thingy of every posting is one of 'em =x Well .. All i actually remembered about last thursday was that I kinda had a tiring day.. (as usual) and had guzheng lesson at night. Gotta learn a new song! :O hmm.. won't be having the lesson the next two weeks (this week and the next) so, I've got time.. I've got time :D

Besides that, I've been grumbling. Yes, grumbling. Everyone's going out to buy new year clothes and I have to stay at home and study/do homework .. Actually it wasn't so bad.. until my mom kept pestering me, asking me when I'd be going out to get em.. -.- for probably a week or 2!! T-T deprived from freedom. sobsob..

Hmmm .. Friday was as busy as the past few weeks.. came home, still had to study chengyu - I couldn't help but study on the bed, eventually falling asleep about 1 hr of visual memorizing & highlighting and making notes here and there ..

Saturday .. OHOHOH!! I LOVE YE DURING SATURDAY!! :DD i honestly don't remember why but i guess it's COS IT RELATED TO ME SO MUCH!!! in many ways, at least =.="

Sunday. Had a mini-trauma when Rachel told me I had to do hand signals. And all of a sudden she's not singing. and marcus wasn't too either since he didn't exactly reply my second msg as confirmation as to whether he was gonna sing it with Regina and me .. The weather was really really freezing cold and I guess it just added on to my nervousness =.=" However, it turned out really great and I didn't feel as nervous as I thought I'd feel I'd be! :DD And for that, I must thank for those who prayed for me and those who supported, esp. God! :DD I must say, I'm really really grateful to you guys! (: (:

Today .. Finally all the studying really paid off! :D I managed to do okay for lit and chinese. Lit essay .. well, I really don't know how much I've roughly score, but I definitely won't fail -.- Hmmm .. and chinese first section of chengyu, yan yu and guan yong yu (all in the first section), i can rest assure myself full marks! :D I mean for that section. I wouldn't dare talk about the rest.. I think due to time constraint, I manage to tikam at least 5 questions. how awesome right? :O

not -.-

Back home, finally resting :D gotta do ss assignment, followed by another lit essay.. though im really reluctant to do the essay.. :\ Hehe! see how see how =P

bts 2! :D

2011-01-26T23:11:00.004+08:00

BtS 2! :D

There was once a young, lonely girl who wanted friends.

She longed to know the true meaning of friendship but did not know how to go about it.

Her mother had simply replied her question with a wink, and tol her it was up to she herself to find the truth.

Determined, to at least try, she chose a beautiful sun morning to being her adventure into the unknown.

Bright and early, she packed a nice lunch and out she went, into the fields. And so in the morning she went, eager to find find the answer.

In an hour, she attempted to ask passing strangers, but all effort was for naught.

Each of them passed by without a single hello or goodbye. The girl had begun to lose hope.

Hiding in a grove of flowers, she cry... Only to feel a tap on her shoulder. It was was a boy of around her age. Perhaps now someone could give her the answer.

So she told the boy all that had happened and asked the question, "What is friendship?" The boy shook his head and sighed.

"Alas, I know not the answer, for I am still young. I do however know that nature is the best teacher, so let's ask the greatest of the trees and animals! For I have seen them before and they have gladly answered all my questions."

And so this journey begins.

~

So across the plains and fields they went, in search of the first of the animals and plants to ask.

"I know a great, old oak nearby which has lived till a ripe old age," he said. "Perhaps with all its years of understanding, it may know the answer."

And so towards the grand oak they went.

It was truly a magnificent sight,
towering above the rest of the animals that inhabited its boughs.

As soon as they reached, the girl asked the question.

"I do not know for sure," said the old tree.

"For it is something difficult to explain.

"You see that rock by my side? All the animals living on me have gone through cycles of life and death, not one of them has a life span long enough to be a companion.

"But this rock has been here since I was a young sapling. It is my friend, and has never left me since."

Puzzled by the weird answer, the girl thought hard.
but came to no conclusion.

"I don't know about this ..." the boy said. "Why don't we find someone else?"

And so they left the clearing.

And across a river and stream they went
into the nearby town.

"There is a tabby cat I know," the boy said. "One that has roamed the vast lands, and has met many people. It must know the answer, for it has experienced much."

And so into the crowded streets they roamed, finding the cat in front of a ..

MANSION.

and so the girl told the cat her problem.

The cat let out a yawn as it stretched its back and answered,

"I couldn't care less what friendship is, and neither have I given a thought about it," it said, "but you see the mansion in front of us?

"The Owners of this mansion are my friends, for this is the place where I am fed the most, and treated with much respect."

Somehow, this did not sit right with the girl.

But in this world, this may be true for certain people.

The boy, seeing her discomfort, led her away.

"Perhaps the answers lie elsewhere," he said.

So leaving the city, they went back into the lush greenery,
across the forests and toward the sea.

"I know of some creatures that are always seen in group," the boy said. "Perhaps they may know the best about friendship."

And so towards the lagoon they went to see the dolphins, splashing about and frolicking in the water.

They approached the nearest one and asked the important question.

"Friendship?" It asked. "You have come to the right place!" It exclaimed. "With my friends, I'm never bored. I get to play all day long and swim in circles. It's so fun everyday!"

The girl laughed. Perhaps the dolphin was right, she thought. But the boy took her aside. "Doesn't sound like this is all there is to it ..." he frowned. "Maybe we should make one last stop?"

By this time, the moon had risen in the night sky.

and it was dark.

Along the moonlit shore they walked. Then towards the village, along the river's trail.

"We shall ask one last animal," the boy suggested. "And perhaps with all you've heard today, you can decided what you think is true friendship."

and so off the courase of the river they went, towards the forest. Stooped on the a tree was the wisest of birds.

the owl.

"Surely this answer will settle everything," the boy said confidently, with a smile (:

And so the girl asked one last time.

"Alas, I do not know the answer," the owl screeched.
"For many people have many answers.
But one thing I do know," it said as it blinked.

"Is that you have already found a friend yourself."

"Perhaps the answer you've been looking for

has been by your side the whole time."

"So what is friendship?" he asked.
Thinking hard, she replied,

"I don't think I'll need to know after all," she laughed.

and so indeed in the days that followed,

it was a friendship that lasted.

and so to all of you out there, asking the very same question,
sometimes the answers are never needed,

are they?

yikes! :\

2011-01-26T19:24:00.002+08:00

Gloom..

Today during physics class, apparently a lot of us didn't do our homework and mr pang walked around and went back to his desk, pack his things and left. No smiles, no um-chio. my gosh. we really did it. we really made him upset ): some more form class .. - guilty - ): Even if I were to give an excuse that I didn't have time, I think that'd be of no use already right. Anyways, the next period was PE. We all got changed and headed to the hall. Since our PE teach wasn't there yet, we all gathered in front of the staff room door and someone called for Mr Pang to come out. Then we all went, "SORRY MR PANG!! DD;" Then he turn around immediately and some caught him um-chioing =P

Oh well, all is well. Then again, it is our lost if he doesn't have enough time to go through the practice questions if we don't do it. True true. But then again, this is madness. At least for me. Come to think of it, now that YE is shifted to saturday, with an extra program of Grow to Lead in the afternoon, I'd just lost another day of the week! i mean, since sunday's schedule remained the same ever since YE was shifted to saturday. I mean, since there's more - "free" - time in the afternoon, my mom often goes to my grandmother's place - at the usual time of about 12.30pm, to spend more time with them. I should really bring my homework and study material there next time.

Hmmm .. After coming home, I headed straight for my room and threw my bag to the floor and took out all the homework and study material that I needed. I started off with a math. (p.s. thanks ben! :D) then study chem. Gonna be doing chem homework soon, followed by chinese.

homeworkhomeworkstudystudy! gahh!!! :\

Alright, better get going! (:

I love you 4B2!! :DD

2011-01-24T22:52:00.004+08:00

AAAAAAWWWEEEEEESOME! :D

hehe.

Camp day 1

Enjoyed myself a lot at camp today. I think it was indeed AAAWEEEEESOME! :D However, there were times when I got bored or felt left out (as a class..) so I either slept, doodled on the booklet they gave us to take down notes, or read my book - during the activities that took place in our classrooms. Well, it was nearly 5, and 6 was dismissal - we didn't have a proper 30-min break and we were just exhausted and tired - and we had to use our brains to come up with a strategic plan for some game which, apparently, we didn't want to do. therefore, I read a book instead.

I picked up some important points from the sessions/talks by Glenn, the speaker & the director of the camp. One that could really apply are the 4 stages of Team-Building. These 4 stages can be "used" in relationships (bf/gf), friendships and - yes, the obvious - in teams/groups.

Stage 1: Forming Stage ("Honeymoon")
Stage 2: Storming Stage ("Disagreement")
Stage 3: Norming Stage ("Consensus")
Stage 4: Performing Stage ("Peak Performance")

I think I need not explain because I think it's quite understandable right .. Hmmm .. now chionging homework. Tomorrow im gonna get wet. sigh. sian..

Her crimson eyes darting

Right at his direction

held a knife, grinning

ready for action

She charged,

yet he did not move

it went through his chest

right through his heart

The outburst of thick red liquid

front, back and mouth

hot, acidic blood

flowing only south

Both collapsing to the floor

One of confusion

The other of guilt

Both heartsore

The last few words

Muttered from her first victim

"Don't let those bastards ..

steal you away from our autumn."

Still got time I guess..

2011-01-23T21:17:00.003+08:00

Inhale, Exhale.

fed up with blogger. I wrote a lot, then they simply deleted it whole because of some confirmation on whether I was the real blogger or not. fed up! I'll summarize it anyway. ugh.

Brought my homework to church. (a math and chemistry) I was stuck at the first question for a math and as a result, I didn't have enough time to do chemistry homework.

Another news, Pastor William spoke with Rachel in request to use my song as a response song next week during main service. Rachel agreed - along with me singing with it. Me? in front of the main service people?? I would say I am looking forward to it, fufilling action in VDA, but that'd mean I'll be having my weak knees and jelly legs on that day also.. bahh!!! nike!!!!

Went dinner with the 149 people. hehe poor Vanessa Ghui kana bullied by Paul. Hmmm.. I sat at the same table as martin, paul and vanessa. The three of us kinda talked about personalities, and vanessa felt left out. but paul tried to put her in the conversation. However, always by teasing her :\ hehe.

Hmmm .. alright. おつかれさま! (:

~

Midnight struck
The moon devoured by the thick fog
The wolves howl
the devil's gate is unlocked.

Friday + Saturday post

2011-01-22T00:31:00.004+08:00

Friday: 7 days is not enough.

There's simply too much homework, too little time for us to study, poor management time (one due to to teacher teaching late & the other, my mind's kind of in a bombardment right now, seeing that I've got so much going on between jan & feb ..) and .. not enough sleep :\

That pretty much sumed up everything today. I wouldn't wanna say much, 'cos It's 12.33am right now and i'm am so gonna grab my bolster and tuck myself into bed anytime soon after blogging ._.

Homework:
English - 2 newspaper articles from the "IN" section, have to write summary and reflection.
E math - 3 graph questions from textbook.
A math - the number of questions to do practically is equilavent to doing an a math test paper.
Chinese - 4 questions (like li jie wen da) and passage is from dou hao (chinese newspaper).
Physics - Practice questions in textbook pg 218-219.
Chemistry - wb pg 47-50.
E lit - essay, one question (from one chapter)
P geog - test paper (three questions this time round) and one random ws, dun even know how to read the diagram.
SS - study for next week's SEQ quiz. In fact, I've an extra homework.

Extra homework: to not only study ss, but every other subject as well. Monday and Tuesday we've got camp. wednesday-friday quiz week. saturday (aka tml, im typing this on friday "night") packed with gz in the morning, grow to lead in the afternoon, ye in the evening and dinner & fellowship time with them afterwards. Sunday packed too. morning follow regina to plmc. afternoon 4pm church. dinner with 149 after that.

can anyone tell me how i'm gonna complete all that crappy hw and study all those subjects by

SUNDAY?????

Saturday: All good. I think.

Stress level's going up and up, but I've chosen to stop worrying so much. hey, it ain't o lvls yet. As long as I do my constant revision, I'm gonna do fine. even if it kinda means to not really do well for the up coming class tests =.= still, I'll do my best, I'll do my best.

Had guzheng ldr's prac this morning with guof and keely. All that was needed to be done was to make some edits to the song to make it sound more complicated.. and esp. to show the judges our jia shu. shu lian, etcetcetc. esp. coordination with the entire guzheng tuan. It's just three pages (without the slow part > man ban) and with the first page, lao shi took like.. an hour and a half to get it done .. yawn yawn .. It's now kinda complex, didn't really like it at first, but oh well. See how it goes when we try it out with the entire gz tuan this coming week .. or next week.

I was late. really late. my lao shi had treated the three of us to lunch!! :DD yeah, and as a result, I was late. BUTTTT!!! samuel wasn't there yet =x phew. Pastor William was talking though. hehe, his son so cute!! I don't know how to spell his name =x

Though I was as zombie as yesterday night, I was able to concentrate better. at least much better than last night. but it's perhaps because I felt it related to me more than yesterday night. Pastor William's really good! ahhhaha! very engaging (: As for the singing part and Pastor William speaking today, it felt like I was at camp. ye camp. the impactful words that they normally say and it just reaches deep down & my heart beats as though I was raised from the "dead".

Went to anchorpoint to have dinner with some YE people & took bus 64 with regina back. I dropped off at Book Keng mrt and took ne train back while regina waited for two more stops before alighting. Finally back home, took a bath and hugged orlie! :D she's so fluffy now. hehe, my mom bathed her this afternoon I think =P

Oh well, I finally got to do my homework. Started off with math! :D Shall study chem and maybe physics later. yay! got to study 3/4 of social studies today during the one hour break between Grow to Lead and YE time :DD so proud of myself. hehe! =3

Can't keep up

2011-01-20T21:18:00.002+08:00

Can't keep up.. =.=

Had 6 diff sub. lessons today: math, ss, chem, eng, chi, pure geog. This really crazy.. Math, Mr Go went through something about area and volume of sim. figures. I'd totally forgotten about that. And guess what? the test is NEXT WEEK, after my camp. wonderful -.- Next, ss, this is BEST of the BEST!! SS SEQ test is next week, and.. we've just started on the chapter. even more wonderful right. Chem, Ms Oh - my sis's ex-cell leader (btw, my sis is in FCBC now) and now my chem teacher - was recapping on The Mole Concept. I was totally blur throughout the lesson because I got some parts and her working was different from what I learnt and I don't know anything about the last three pages of my notes. So I'm basically doomed since this quiz is next week too. eng, was my resting period, nothing to worry or think about, just listen to Ms Ong go on and on about narrative writing .. She did tell us about the word limit though. And she did a quick survey to see those who write till just that minimum or early minimum of the word limit and those who write A LOT. the first one, had some.. a few ba, about 5..? and the other one? 2. i was the other one -.-"

Next was chinese. Had zuo wen to complete. oh my goodness. Start and end with the same sentence. 助けて!! x.x" I managed to finish it though. during pure geog lesson. Yes, pure geog. This is no surprise to uni people because I think they're used to it esp. for people with NETBOOKS and LAPTOPS -.- heh. Anyways, Mrs Wong, my substitute pure geog teacher was half boring and half entertaining. However, the only time I tried to respond - I didn't even say my entire class, I said I.. - was when she clicked on her mouse and the slides go zoom zoom zoom. Can you imagine? There I was, copying down notes on my notepad, with reference to my geog. textbook, listening to Mrs Wong go blahblahblah, thinking and writing my chinese compo which I die die have to hand in today because I can't stay back to do tomorrow as I have cca.. and I had my time limit. I had to hand it in before 5pm. I had english remedial (compulsory for the entire class btw) till 3.30pm (for today, i think it's normally 3.45pm) and I had guzheng at 6pm. My goodness. I had to rush anyway.

Geog ended and I finally rested for a bit. I had to call up ARTS cos I wasn't sure of my guzheng lesson timing.. a few hours ago, I'd tried smsing and calling my mom, asking her a favour to help me call and sms me the timing. Apparently, that few hours later, I got a msg from my dad through my mom's phone, saying that my mom didn't bring her phone. Yeah, so that basically started the whole panic about not sure if I could actually stay back long enough to complete my zuo wen ..

(see, this is why I write long compos, I elaborate way too much. back to AFTER geog ended.. and after the phone call)

I was trying to complete my zuo wen then my classmates gathered, somewhat, close to where I sat. VP was shouting and make so much noise. so was everyone else gathered there. I was tolerating. I really was. I was so fed up, seriously. but I managed to rush through my compo anyway - grumpily :\ Hmmm.. made my trip to the staff room lockers and put my zuo wen bu in my teach's locker. Went home to rest for a bit and practice before heading for gz lesson.

Had dinner at my grandmother's house again. hehe. my ah ma very cute. I tell her I scared later rain, so I may or may not come.. cos I forgot to bring my umbrella. She suggested she'd come if it'd rain, but then I told her later that if it wasn't raining, she need not come. And so, after my lesson (btw, I learnt a new song! :D) I walked towards her house. It wasn't raining. But there I saw an old lady figure near some bushes along the pathway. I was pretty far away from her. As I got closer and closer, I saw her carrying an umbrella, I squinted my eyes and realised it was my ah ma. hehe. aw (:

anyways, gotta spam homework tonight. physics was part of my homework, questions from my textbook. best, again, I didn't bring my physics textbook home today.

BEST.

better :D

2011-01-19T16:59:00.003+08:00

YESYESYES! :D

Today my class had 3 periods of PE/exercise .. aka 35 min x 3 .. 1h 45 min of PE ..? :\

Well, I'll start off by the time I woke up.

MAN WAS IT COLD THIS MORNING!

I totally wrapped myself with my blanket =.= And I didn't even sleep with the air-con on last night ... Oh well, better get ready for school. The first two periods was morning jog/exercise. For my class, we did skipping again. Co-ordinated - 3 classes - skipping 500 times I think. We skipped 20 at a time, in sets. Then did a lot of stretching. I never liked the part where you had to lie back to the ground and - with your legs straight and together - lift it up like 30 degrees.. and stay put for dunno how long - until our instructor was satisfied, I suppose. My class, along with the other two, were dismissed early :D

And so we had one period of physics before our class PE lesson -.- Ran a few rounds and did some beginner practices for mini-tennis :O! hehe, my ball went north, south, east, west, and bounce here and there =.=" gah! Oh well, but I kinda got the hang of it after awhile :D

Recess. Then english was next. Newspaper time! My school - beside the chinese dou hao bao zhi - suddenly had english newspapers given out on wednesday. And so.. I had the problem of stuffing the newspapers under my desk / bringing it home on Friday 'cos my teachers may want to go through them with us during lessons.. Hmmm .. I pretty much just browsed through a few articles and I came across this article about cyber-bullying. Apparently, it came from Formspring. YIKES. I've been receiving e-mails from them. I don't even recall having signed up for any formspring?!! And I constantly am receiving e-mails saying whosoever whosoever has a question for me ... uh ..........

Math lesson was next. Hehe I think I just found another angel in disguise. Mr Victor Go. MUAHA! I didn't know he was so nice!! I mean, he was literally really really nice and I think my class take advantage of him today. Everybody did their own thing, saw someone slept -.- Eesh! I really admire him for his patience with us despite us not answering to his every question :D And still being able to continue with the lesson as per normal and tolerate everybody's ~.~ feeling. hehe. yay! two uber nice teachers this year! :D Mr Pang and Mr Go!! :DD

Had chapel afterwards. The lady pastor from plmc had come to preach today. I .... honestly didn't quite like it .. And I fell asleep awhile too :\

Anyways, as class esther, I had to stay back for some training thingy.. Last year, as class esther, I didn't do much. There was no cell time at all. sigh. But I guess it has become really crucial especially when our school theme this year's "We Are One". Apparently, I think cell time is a time for our class to bond more, support one another in this crucial year of having our Os, kind of like encouraging one another. But honestly speaking, I think my class is already bonded enough :\ However, I think cell time is still needed for us to show our care and concern for one another in class. At least, that's what I learnt today, during the training. I was really touched by what she said. The lady. I'm really sorry, but I forgot her name =x Hmmm .. Though she speaked real fast, and I couldn't exactly take down some points, I was able to pause and listen for awhile. Then I imagined my life if I'd not known a God existed, or followed God/any god.

We broke off into small groups to discuss and pray. I didn't exactly know anyone there besides my primary school friend(s) - one or two - whom I've never been in contact with since roughly.. 4 or 5 years ago ..? And so I stayed at my seat and just started praying by myself.

Perhaps I'd been too close to the crowd, that I'd no time to reflect on myself lately because I feel like I was conforming to worldly things.. Well, in my class, there're not many who are christians, some even despise God. I felt hurt, inside. Still, I have yet to come up with a plan to change their mindsets.. hehh! >:) hehe. jkjk.. I felt I was beginning to be "cool", part of the crowd, like.. dependent on them. I also felt ... well, not really myself. How should I put it.. well, more of a "wannabe" than myself. I felt that as I merged into the crowd, I just became a multi-wannabe person. okay, no such word. Basically, I feel like I'm acting like someone else, not just one person, but many. Like if talking to them in this situation, I have to act like so and so .. I may have become quite used to it, but hopefully I won't become like that. I wanna stay unique and just be me. And staying like that forever.

As a result, I tried to stray myself away from the crowd to think a little bit. However, I did like the company of my classmates. So I sat in class, beside them and read my book while they're busy talking about dunno what. heh, I had my earpiece on.

Hmmm .. aside from all that, I came back about a few minutes ago.. Ate chin chow / cin cau! :D aka xian cao... hehe. love it totally! (: and I ate a subway choc. chip cookie. hehe, psps, I didn't eat lunch -.-"

mmmm! :9

lil-dango

Hisashiburi!

Fries!

SERVE

Half full

False Testimony

Living by God's grace

Long post

FYI

Open eyes

Cambridge dinner 2011

Mirai

Not even

Almost to the end of Os

More vids! :p

Vids + post!

Cant wait!!

Science Practical

Two things ended today

mini recent updates 2

mini recent updates

MIA notice

Toccata & Fugue in D minor ~ Bach

Events of today

Sweet 16

Held close

Lazy

God's realness to me.. Worthy to be praised.

Clown

more music videos

Thoughts

There is nothing

Sickness begone!

Haven't been sick for a long time..

Random post II!

Random

It bothers me

2nd slack-est day?

Clarify.

School tomorrow..

Thanks be to God! :D

short post

3 more days to go!

Random stuff.

New stuff.

Breaking free

Last week of holidays

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Thoughts

Shaking Knees

Intensive revision

Chinese Os

Encouraged

Holiday!

PISA!

Poems

CP & SS workshop

Exams coming up..

I know, dad, I know.

God's grace

Computer.

Accomplishment!

Still in html

Important dates

Random title

Today

long.

Oh.

iron

yawn

stress is on

SLEEP!

blast.

Bam

A math drill

a-ca(r)e-de-mics!

Gracious

Horrendous..

Free time (:

still studying..